Pettiest parenting pet peeves?

[Tucancrossing]

What's the pettiest thing that annoys you about other parents? Something that you know is so pathetic to care about but it really grinds your gears?

Mine is probably when people say they're doing 'a bit of traditional weaning and a bit of baby led weaning' - you can't half do BLW... traditional weaning is purees AND finger foods, BLW is your child ALWAYS feeding themselves regular food.

So petty, I wish I could let go of it, but I internally eye roll every time.

@Nohomemadecandles

Can we stop this shit? One person's performance parenting is another just trying to engage their kid or make their day bearable. Or if they do want to explain mallards, what the fuck is is to you?? Perform all you like. Christ. This is depressing

I also hate this outcry about 'performance parenting'. There just seems something so uppity about those who complain about it and point the finger accusing others of it. I cant put my finger on what it is though.

@Nohomemadecandles

Can we stop this shit? One person's performance parenting is another just trying to engage their kid or make their day bearable. Or if they do want to explain mallards, what the fuck is is to you?? Perform all you like. Christ. This is depressing

Woah...didn’t mean to upset anyone. Of course everyone is free to do what they like but the question is things that irritate and a certain type of parent voice and attitude irritates me. That’s all. You may be on the wrong thread though if you’re getting upset by answers...

Annoying to see toddlers just sitting at a table to eat in a restaurant without being strapped down or entertained. They just sit there normally because they want to eat. And the smug parents are able to eat relaxed or chat without the worry of the child creating havoc any second. I don't know what that's like? My 2 year old would be legging it from the table if he wasn't in a high chair, or going under the table. Food would not entice him to sit still.
Picnics with friends are also a nightmare. How do other toddlers just sit and eat? Friends suggest a picnic as a nice, relaxing outing... It's not for everyone!

@MrsW150917 there's a happy medium

It’s not just the performance parenting though- this whole thread is awful. Judging for bottle feeding, judging for spoon feeding, judging for interacting with your child, judging for not interacting and “shoving devices in their faces”. Judging for helicopter parenting, judging for letting them run wild. Judging for having allergies ffs.

It’s just bloody nasty. We are all just doing our best and everyone should just focus on their own children. Why does it “feel like a punch in the face” if someone else is regularly late to school? Why do you care whether someone is proud of their child’s achievements and shows off about them? I judge a lot of the nasty, vitriolic and judgemental posts on this thread.

@MrsW150917 To be fair to you, I think most people before they have children or when they have very tiny children see parents of toddlers or preschoolers doing things and think 'ugh I will never do that' and hoik their judgy pants up. Then they become the parent with the toddler and they know a bit better!

Eating out, for more than a quick sandwich where they're expected to sit for an extended period mine (who are 3 and 5 so still small) I tend to take colouring books, those little paint books with mini water pens (that don't make a mess) things like that. But when you've exhausted that, and you've chatted to them for ages and they're plain bored of doing a grown up thing I would rather whip out my phone or the kindle with headphones and let them watch something quietly than let them disrupt other people trying to enjoy their meal.

Parents of a 12-18m old are probably dying to have a nice meal and adult chat with you and your lovely sleepy non mobile baby - half an hour occasionally in front of a tablet won't do any harm to the child and will probably do the parent the world of good in terms of their well-being. A child of that age will not sit nicely and quietly for extended periods no matter how much you engage with them and wave rattles around.

Back in the day when I was a child we really didn't eat out often, I don't know about anyone else (and it's not that long ago, but pre-tech , 80s)? So no our parents didn't have those things. But we didn't get taken out for lunches that took and hour and a half at a time or if we did we went to a child friendly place with a playground etc. You didn't really have children in pubs then, or if you did they were shoved in a car with a packet of crisps and a can of coke (not me!).

@Artesia

It’s not just the performance parenting though- this whole thread is awful. Judging for bottle feeding, judging for spoon feeding, judging for interacting with your child, judging for not interacting and “shoving devices in their faces”. Judging for helicopter parenting, judging for letting them run wild. Judging for having allergies ffs.

It’s just bloody nasty. We are all just doing our best and everyone should just focus on their own children. Why does it “feel like a punch in the face” if someone else is regularly late to school? Why do you care whether someone is proud of their child’s achievements and shows off about them? I judge a lot of the nasty, vitriolic and judgemental posts on this thread.

I think this thread isnt for you tbh.....

When someone says or puts in their bio 'full time mummy'.

@Artesia

It’s not just the performance parenting though- this whole thread is awful. Judging for bottle feeding, judging for spoon feeding, judging for interacting with your child, judging for not interacting and “shoving devices in their faces”. Judging for helicopter parenting, judging for letting them run wild. Judging for having allergies ffs.

It’s just bloody nasty. We are all just doing our best and everyone should just focus on their own children. Why does it “feel like a punch in the face” if someone else is regularly late to school? Why do you care whether someone is proud of their child’s achievements and shows off about them? I judge a lot of the nasty, vitriolic and judgemental posts on this thread.

Hear hear

You are right @Letsallscreamatthesistene, it isn’t. I thought it might be funny, but instead it’s mean spirited mocking of anyone who is deemed to be a less than perfect parent. Hilarious….

@MrsW150917

our parents, grandparents would've allowed all the same things we can, had they been able to.

And I promise you that kids won't become unsociable because of being on devices.
my 4 oldest are teenagers, they play multiplayer games with some of their friends, they have their own friend groups on WhatsApp and Insta, they also have a group to chat with their cousins who live in different countries.

and they are perfectly sociable in face to face situations - very capable of entertaining little babies & toddlers and their younger siblings as well as conversing with adults of all ages..

granted iPads came out the same year as DS5 was born so my older ones weren't exposed to screens as early as my younger ones. but my younger ones have lots of friends too, there are no behaviour or attention issues and so devices haven't ruined anything.

I hope that's helpful

@Artesia

You are right *@Letsallscreamatthesistene*, it isn’t. I thought it might be funny, but instead it’s mean spirited mocking of anyone who is deemed to be a less than perfect parent. Hilarious….

Oh stop it. Dont pretend you have no pet peeves. Stop with this holier than thou attitude. I dont believe for a second you dont have irrational pet peeves. This thread was a space for people to talk about them. Its what makes us human.

I think there's a big difference between what we expect now and say 30 years ago. We did not eat out often as children. Popping out for lunch or even tea in a cafe was a big deal and not something you did with toddlers. I had older siblings and they would be taken out while I was left home with a babysitter. Nowadays, eating out is much more accessible and normal vs a treat you made a big deal about.

Because I have two boys I must have another and "try for a girl".

I'm happy with my two lovely little total mammas boys, they are so loving!

I would've loved a girl..I love my boys..I do not want any more children, I'm blessed to have these two little humans love me and call me mammy!

The worst are people who have one of each who are extra smug! "I'm so lucky.." and look at you with pity with your own children of the same sex..

Applies to mothers of girls too... one of my friends has had "your poor husband never getting a son" 🙄

@Seriously79

Kids appetites!

'My Ds who is 9 months can eat 2 whole weetabix for breakfast'

Well don't you think that's a bit excessive when that's what's recommended for a grown adult 🤷‍♀️

😂😂

Parents of older children who say that it must’ve been lovely to have a baby during lockdown and what a wonderful amazing opportunity it is to stay home and bond…

Yes but that’s completely forgetting I stayed at home in Labour until I was 9cm because I wasn’t allowed a birth partner in hospital until I was pushing and didn’t want DP to miss anything because it’s our first baby. Then staying in hospital for 3 days on our own no visitors not even DP and midwives who tried their best but were told they couldn’t handle the babies too much “because of covid”. Then coming home and having mastitis 3 times in a row after struggling with breastfeeding, having to take a picture of my bright red boobs to show a doctor because of no face to face appointments and still having midwives/health visitors say DS doesn’t have tongue tie over the phone and no one bothering to actually check (he did). My family only meeting DS once, maternity leave being spent in 3 different lockdowns and all the other lovely firsts which have gone out of the window. But yeah… staying home and “enjoying the cuddles” and all that other twee bollocks was good thanks

Being told I was too posh to push... My baby was breech and I'm not suicidal.
Being bullied into exclusove breastfeeding, despite my baby noy latching and dropping weight (a few bottle top ups later and ahe was latching fine... No effing nipple confysion there).
Parents who have to show off the new things they trained their kids to do....really annoying.
BLW crazies... As long as food goes in and they are growing it's fine. A spoon is not satanic.
People who say thwir kids slept through beforw they were even out of the uterus... Drives me fucking mad.
People who have "advanced" toddlers. What does that even mean? It's a normal distribution... Some walk early, some talk early, some do everything early, some take their time... I am not sure about the predictive value of milestones (unless outwith the normal range).
People who post every shit their kids take on instagram
Sorry for the rant

And apologies for typos

@Felinewoman

awesome rant!
I agree with it too

spoons are not satanic PMSL🤣🤣
so true
especially that you can't eat soup with your hands🤷‍♀️

My eldest was born in August and my pet peeve is people going on and on and on about it.

“Ooo. An august baby? Oh dear. They’ll be the youngest in school!”
“A summer baby? Oh well never mind. They’ll just be worse at sport for a few years.”
“Oh August. Will you defer them? They’ll be in school with kids almost a year older.”

And people started saying this when I was pregnant! As if I’d already let down my child. I mean we just started TTC at a point that suited and by the time I fell pregnant I had an August due date. Clearly I should have stopped until an autumn date was on the cards

@Pl242 that is annoying, totally get it. My son was born in September and I had people saying, oh that's good he'll be the oldest in the year. Yeh, so what?!
As a primary school teacher, and in reception, I know it doesn't make much difference. I've taught September children who struggle and August children who are well above average. There are so many other factors to learning and development, not just being summer born or not.