Pettiest parenting pet peeves?

[Tucancrossing]

What's the pettiest thing that annoys you about other parents? Something that you know is so pathetic to care about but it really grinds your gears?

Mine is probably when people say they're doing 'a bit of traditional weaning and a bit of baby led weaning' - you can't half do BLW... traditional weaning is purees AND finger foods, BLW is your child ALWAYS feeding themselves regular food.

So petty, I wish I could let go of it, but I internally eye roll every time.

Snobbery towards character clothing. Fair enough for babies with no interest in characters but what if your child loves a certain character? I can't resist.

@Ozanj that's fine- but why judge the way people describe how they describe how to wean their children?

How many genuine choking incidents are there and are there stats around whether the baby is BLW or spoon fed?

People who ‘exclusively’BLW and look down on those who dare to give their child a spoon of purée or anything the child does not put in their own mouth. Also, a parent who claims their child is both exclusively breastfed and BLW. Do they help themselves to your tit or do you actually give them food that’s not milk - can’t be both.

@Letsallscreamatthesistene

The BLW brigade ramming it down other peoples throats at the slight mention of weaning. You used to see it on here a lot.

Same with 'cloth bums'.

But then I had my DM, who I was NC with when I was actually weaning my son, saying that BLW is laziness. In the end I had to ask her to stop bringing up the subject because it triggered a meltdown in me every single time, usually in a public place, which she would then say made her feel like shit.

So called Gentle Parenting. Sarah Ockwell Smith has a lot to answer for. Permissive nonsense.

The idea that you can only be a good responsive 'mumma' if you allow your child to BF on demand until they're about five even though you'd have stopped earlier, wear them incessantly, let them sleep on you, in your bed or on a mattress on your floor until they so choose to move themselves into their own room etc. I'm sure all these things make babies happy. But do you know what else does? Boundaries. Routine. Well rested parents who aren't on the brink of collapse because they've martyred themselves into exhaustion.

The BLW thing too - do they eat? Good fine then who gives a shit how they do it!

BLW made a lot of sense to me. Now why does the occasional (or regular) spoon feed mean you can't benefit from all the good things about BLW? Why can't you do both? It's like saying if you used a disposable nappy once or twice you can't say you used cloth.

Well we did baby fed weaning. BFW. I will write a book. Anyone can do it, combine it, get it wrong, without fear of being looked down upon by the evangelical.

When parents think that their dc sleeping or being "chilled" is all down to their parenting and how they are, tbf it's usually parents of one very young dc.
I have 3 dcs , one slept great , one not so good , one regularly woke for 5 years, one had epic tantrums until 6, other never had even one tantrum the other a mixture. All brought up the same.
I cringe so much as it's always new parents who say "oh the baby is so chilled as we are chilled", em nope....Also chicken and egg, if you have a dc who screams and cries for years it affects how "chilled" you are..
Also we have travelled quite a bit with our dcs and I heard at least one woman bragging that her dc (one child) sleep everywhere as they are used to travelling loads, my dcs slept pretty badly if in a new place pre 4 years.
I'm not in the UK and a have lived in a few places and the constant reference on here to "well in Northern European, they do everything right with their kids".....
Also we spend loads of time in countries where kids stay up later and nope one of my dcs wakes at 6am or in fact earlier (when put to bed later ) no matter what, they have never ever slept past 7am in their lives and yes I adapt to local custom and let them go to bed later. It just doesn't work with some dcs. I've seen it a thousand times on mn "why do UK ppl put their kids to bed so early?" I don't know , maybe they want break if their dcs wake regardless at 5/6am...

@thelovlinessofdemons I have absolutely no idea why BLW is such a emotive subject. Its so weird.

Mothers who talk endlessly about how easy labour was and how all they needed was a puff of gas and air. Often with comments about their high pain tolerance.
Never seem to consider that their labour was just easier then some women's or that they were lucky. Gets my back up every time.

'Don't do that darling' as kid continues walloping park roses with a big stick they've just wrenched off a tree

Also any single prescriptive method for doing anything. Relax, it'll be OK either way tbh.

Sorry bit of a rant there ! I did baby led weaning and my baby choked and I had to do the hymlic manoeuvre and they lost consciousness briefly. It was my last dc so I'd never do it again even though generally it's better for their jaws, development and overall getting used to food and I'm sure they have a good gag reflex but never again.

@SummerHouse

BLW made a lot of sense to me. Now why does the occasional (or regular) spoon feed mean you can't benefit from all the good things about BLW? Why can't you do both? It's like saying if you used a disposable nappy once or twice you can't say you used cloth.

Well we did baby fed weaning. BFW. I will write a book. Anyone can do it, combine it, get it wrong, without fear of being looked down upon by the evangelical.

Because @SummerHouse you didn't do BLW if you spoon fed at all, don't you know the rules?!

Ugh, call yourself a BLW-er. Amateur!

When people tell me "They're probably teething" to explain why my 16 month old is in a foul mood, or playing up. It's not an excuse for everything 🤦‍♀️
I'd like to think I know my own child by now.

My now ex friend who wouldn't let her dc play in their own garden without socks and shoes on.
Or let them play out (garden) without her standing one step behind her dd..literally followed an age 3 +dc around.... I stood like a lemon with a cuppa while my dc played.
In bare feet!!
Feral!!

@ForgedInFire , I had 3 natural labours , just gas and air, no issues at all and I couldn't agree more. I see it announced so often with regards to births "did it all without any pain relief". WTF imagine saying that about a tooth extraction like. It doesn't make you any better at birthing

"Don't do that, or the lady will tell you off"

No, the lady will tell off the lazy arsed parent - buck stops with you not a two year old!

Funny enough the BLW police "that's not BLW if you've fed them a bowl of porridge" while they fill with rage at the thought. Weird.

"At that age my child could...." it's almost like every child is different and that just because little Dave can read the bible at 3, doesn't make him the norm.

I had a parent tell me their childs record for sneezes in a row was 7. I didn't know what to do with that information, or why the fuck I would care.

People giving advice 🙄🙄 good lord I'm just half way through my pregnancy and I'm already bombarded with people giving "advice" ... I even had one person I know spam me with lists and lists of baby names because she didn't like my own list of names 😅😅 I dread when I actually have the baby , my head will be wrecked with people insisting their way is right... while their own children are feral and screaming 😏😏

Being constantly told that "girls are easier than boys...."
No, Sandra, yours is just a little shit!

The Mum of boys brigade. The ones (not all) who consistently say how cuddly / mamas boys they are and how simple it will be to parent when they're teens with no drama (whilst actually enviously eyeing up the SMOG's)

Smug mum of girls

@Effsee

When people tell me "They're probably teething" to explain why my 16 month old is in a foul mood, or playing up. It's not an excuse for everything 🤦‍♀️ I'd like to think I know my own child by now.

Similarly, my DM insisted my son was crabby because of the heat. It wasnt an especially hot day and it turned out he had a raging infection in both ears.

This isn't really petty, but people who seem to think we're living in 1820 and they can just not tell their children about anything complicated to do with race, or sex or whatever (and then complain about the "terrible things" they learn in the school playground).

I had one woman twisting herself up in knots because her DS asked her what "gay" means because it was what the other children were calling someone they didn't like. When to me it was an obvious moment to address early homophobia and casually make the point that not all families are mummy, daddy and 2.4 DC. Similarly, a friend of DS' mum was in a state because she'd been telling her DC for years about the bloody stork bringing babies to mummies and daddies who loved each other, and he then came home with different information learned in school!

Drives me absolutely crazy.

@redheadonascooter

So called Gentle Parenting. Sarah Ockwell Smith has a lot to answer for. Permissive nonsense.

The idea that you can only be a good responsive 'mumma' if you allow your child to BF on demand until they're about five even though you'd have stopped earlier, wear them incessantly, let them sleep on you, in your bed or on a mattress on your floor until they so choose to move themselves into their own room etc. I'm sure all these things make babies happy. But do you know what else does? Boundaries. Routine. Well rested parents who aren't on the brink of collapse because they've martyred themselves into exhaustion.

The BLW thing too - do they eat? Good fine then who gives a shit how they do it!

Gosh, sorry but attitudes like this. Why so angry? What if someone genuinely prefers slings over prams and likes to be close to their baby at night too- why does this instantly get judged as sanctimonious or whatever? It doesn't mean at all that there are no boundaries and parents must be exhausted

That boys are more loving than girls towards their mothers 😳🙄

[quote Eileen101]@seriously79 - how are intolerances/allergies seeking to be 'the coolest thing'? My second child is allergic to three foods, unfortunately pretty major foods. This is my first foray into allergies as we have no family history of it. I tell people who need to know in case they, you know, give her something that will have her in agony with a swollen tummy and shitting green for 24 hours. If I don't mentioned it e.g. to friends or similar, they enquire as to the new addition of non cows milk to our house/cafe visit/restaurant visit and it comes up in conversation.
Raising awareness of allergies/intolerances is hugely important not because someone wants to be 'cool'.[/quote]
I didn't mean to cause offence x I've just known people who, if their kid doesn't like something 'they must have an intolerance' it can't be that they don't actually like it, or don't want it at that minute.

My neighbours DS 13 months struggles with lots of intolerance issues, and I know that when they are genuine, it's heartbreaking, tiring and scary for the parents. The ambulance has been parked up outside many a times for next door.

I wasn't meaning to sound bitchy x