what do you think of people that have their lo's christened when they are not reallt religous?

[pregnantbabyelephant]

good excuse for a party ? nice to introduce the baby to the extended family ?
better to have a naming service? has anyone actually done this ?

better saved for those that do go to church on a regular basis ?
or ok for those that dont go to church but are just belivers?

is it something people do to please the older people in the families like the gp's?

But the way I do see it- ultimately- is that God is the one to judge and the rest of us do the best we see fit, and it is certainly NOT for us to judge. That is my Faith anyway, the rules by which I try to follow Christ. Kind, loving God and Jesus are nto going to look down a person who beleives they are Christening their child for the right reasons (the baby doesn't come into this- I agree thT God accepts all children).

And I ahve to say that when so many of chidlren are Christened or baprtisd, i would not say that my ds3 should have anything different becuase he isn't able to udnerstand (I know thats not what you emant but choosing a different celebration than is the norm would equate to this in many peoples eyes). hewon;t geta Baptism or Confirmation later on, unless the situation changes dramatically. I want him to have the full works.

besides, local Vicar said they offered dedications- wecoming ceremonies- all of it, poeple only wanted Christenings. It would be sad if people were turned away from Church on that basis.

i think that just because people don't go to church, doesn't necessarily they mean they don't believe - it can be quite stressful trying new churches because they are all so different/have different rules/expectations. also i think a lot oof people change their beliefs/have more or less need for the church depending on what they are currently going through in their life. I feel people should be welcomed whenever they set foot in a church - and not feel they have to believe 100% of the time to 100% of what is said.

i think that just because people don't go to church, doesn't necessarily they mean they don't believe - it can be quite stressful trying new churches because they are all so different/have different rules/expectations. also i think a lot oof people change their beliefs/have more or less need for the church depending on what they are currently going through in their life. I feel people should be welcomed whenever they set foot in a church - and not feel they have to believe 100% of the time to 100% of what is said.

havent read whole thread.we decided to get our dc christened but to also teach them as they grow up about different religions and celebrations.we are not religious but i suppose i like the calm and peace i find in a church.since having children ive probably attended church more than before.when ds2 was christened we had the vicar visit a few times before hand,he knows we are not religious but was more than happy.dds friend dad is new vicar where we live,he really encourages church to be fun and for everyone.to me,my dc christenings were a lovely day where family gathered together to celebrate welcoming our dc into the world.if im wrong i apologise!

It is not at all hypocritical. As long as you have some faith, and want to do it, then it is great! You wouldnt want to Christen your child if you were a muslim or a wiccan. So why the question?

Who are you to judge the level of faith or belief in other people? I find the op, and some other posts here a bit "Holyer then though" even in their attempts to "protect the faith from nonbelievers".

In fact, you chose to Christen your baby for the baby to be a part of Christian community, and at confirmation the child choses wheter to confirm his/her belief.

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I wrote a long reply earlier and lost it when the page wouldn't load. I had to be at a wedding so didn't have time to re do it. I can argue this subject until the end of time using The Bible as a base because I know the Biblical stand. No one has given a Biblical explanation here for the simple reason there isn't one. I will write more when I have time.

What you do is your business, but as a Christian my heart breaks that people are being denied access to God by men who think putting on a collar makes them something special (I can count on my hand and point it out with a finger how many times I've seen my Grandad in a collar and vest. I can even remember the first time I saw him like that!) These men, in the name of the god I worship, men who are supposedly educated in The Bible are putting barriers between people and God.

When Jesus died the curtain to the Holy of Holies ripped from top to bottom (try doing that, I'm a fashion designer and worked in a soft furnishings studio and I'm telling you it doesn't happen) because no longer do we need anyone between us and God. Jesus does that! We can go straight to Him. By putting ceremonies that have no basis in The Word we are making obstacles to God where there should be none!

Being a Christian is not about whether you have fulfilled rites in front of people. It's about a one on one. Abba, a Hebrew name for God is lit. Daddy! Why do we call Him Father? He's not, He's our Daddy. But we have to let Him be, for ourselves.

One of the worst things that was ever said to me was a friend at school who, when asked what religion she was said "I suppose I'm a Christian. I don't want to be. I don't believe in God but my parents christened me so that makes me a Christian"! How sad! Why did no one tell her parents the way to God? "I am The Way, The Truth and The Life NO ONE comes to the Father but through me."

In my Church they would have been taken somewhere comfortable, someone would have made a cup of tea and there would have been no question about kicking him out. I've seen worse in Church because where the Spirit dwells you can be sure that the Devil will try to attack.

Please don't think that my views of christening are personal against parents, they're not. They are against the people who should know better because I do know better and it angers me that people are giving Satan an easy time and calling it "in God's name".

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IMO it's hypocritical but not as bad as when the dd's are three or four and their parents start 'rediscovering' their faith to get their kids into church schools

HOw do you know how religious those unreligious person really are?

I hardly go to mass, DS's father is an atheist, the word God is rarely in our day to day language.

However, I had a time in my life when my religion (or better said, my faith) was very important to me, and I baptised DS because I wanted him to have the oportunity in the future (if he so wishes) to know there's someone out there who loves him and cares for him.

Incidentally, I was highly criticised for not having a big party and not ordering a private service for his baptisism (people thought I didn't care!) the truth is I didn't want all the parafernalia that builds around fancy celebrations to distract us from the real importance of the event: A humble act of comunion where my son got a little nearer to his creator.

I wouldn't be surprised if people thought we baptised him because we wanted x, y or z. We didn't and this is a business between me and God.

I have the opposite problem - religious family member trying to pressurise me into christening my sons when neither of us are religious. I would find it pointless and hypocritical.

I have had both of my dd's christened at young ages (12 weeks and 11 weeks) although we dont go to church often I do go for easter and christmas as the church do childrens services with puppets etc explaining the story. Actually the church is very versatile and has traditional and modern services (has a band playing at latter) dd1 has just turned 3 and noticed her childrens bible on her shelf (was christening present from her godmother) and asked to read it so we have done the story of adam and eve (her comment was well she was told not to eat apple mummy thats naughty )

I wont push religion on them and although dh and I are not over religious I like to believe that there is something and when dd1 was ill at 3 weeks old and in hospital the vicar popped in and saw us and did a prayer for dd1(he was at hospital for another reason but mil cleans the vicarage and told him about dd1 at that time when she was poorly it was a lovely thing to think of him praying for her)

The same vicar christened dh, taught dh re at his school (we got married in is parish) confirmed us (he requested we be confirmed)prior to marrying us and christened both the dd's so this particular curch is interlinked in our lives

We had both dd's christened and we are definately not religious. Partly so they don't have loads of hastle when they get married but then there was the excellent excuse for a major pissup.

I don't get it.

A good friend of mine got her ds christened and she is not remotely religious.

Neither am I... and I am Godmother. Does this make me a hypocrite?

I'm having my dd christened tomorrow...

I'm not religious now but I used to be when I was a child/was growing up.
It is part of my culture and heritage as I was brought up in a very catholic country. My dp is not religious at all and for him it is just excuse to have a party and introduce our child to our friends and family.

I think that it is intrinsically hypocritical to get your children christened if you don't believe in God. However, I agree with those who say that it is not the Church's place to judge the sincerity of parents who bring their children for baptism. If the parents are happy in their own consciences to make the promises that are part of the baptism service, then the rest should be between them and God.

Personally I am a wavering Christian/agnostic (I guess that makes me an agnostic then... but I feel that I am teetering more on the side of faith than lack of it [confused emoticon]) but my children are not baptised. Dh is an atheist and would be strongly against getting them baptised. I have yet to find a church where I feel comfortable (our local one is very evangelical with lots of hands in the air and a rock band instead of an organ, and while that may work for some people - and I have no doubt that the people there are totally genuine - it really isn't 'me') and if I do I may consider discussing it with my dds (who are now old enough to understand the general point of the service) and then have the necessary fight with dh! I'd only choose godparents who were believers, though. I wouldn't want to put someone in the position of having to stand up in public and make a promise that I knew they didn't believe in.

Hmmm... sorry... so that's as clear as mud then . I did say that I was wavering, didn't I?

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why would you want your baby christened if you werent religious?

i am not religious nor is dh but had ds christianed because 1.need baptisimal cert for most schools 2.if he wasnt christianed wouldnt make his comunion ext along with all his peers which i imagine would upset him 3.just because im non religious doesnt mean i cant let my son do the normal done thing and then make his own mind up when he is old enough

My DS is baptized and we go to baby church once a month. However I will also make sure he is well aware of other faiths as he grows up, I have Buddhist and Hindu books and art in our house and am passionate about other religions.

But I don't get myself worked up about people who get their kids bapitized then never go. Mind you as you can see from the above I'm not exactly a strict Christian .

I had my DD baptised but DH and I are not regular church goers at all - weddings, christenings, funerals and Christmas. However, just because we don't go to church does not mean that we don't have some beliefs. We are just a bit more subtle about it and have beliefs on our terms without the need for church services, etc.

The party afterwards was just an added extra, and we'd have done that bit regardless. And having our friends about to celebrate our DD being here was actually as important to us as the religious meaning as well.

the reality is that "being religious" or, even, "believing in God" are not, for an awful lot of people, issues that they can take a simple yes/no approach to. Ok, for those who can say "yes" it's easy but there are an awful lot of people who can't say "no".

My mum was brought up a church goer. she is now sceptical about the big question - whether He exists. However, she goes to church most Sundays. why? because she has had some very difficult times in her life and she came through them, and now has a good life, with happy children and grandchildren, a nice house, money for all the necessities and a bit left over for treats. she feels the need to acknowledge her good fortune. she believes - and acts on - Christian values. she feels the need to spend some time every week in quiet thought. church is familiar to her - part of her cultural upbringing. it provides her with space to be thankful. she tells me she's too old to go and sing round campfires with hippies or commune with trees. she insists (to me, probably not to the vicar ) she's a hyprocite. I don't think she is. Nor do I think anyone has the right to say stuff like going to church (or having your children Christened) when you're "not religious" is meaningless or hypocritical. that is a shallow and simplistic response to hugely complex - and personal - issue.

I just wonder why vicars allow people who arent christians to do this? Surely it's their responsiblity to allow it or not.

Do you have to pay for a child to be christened?

Howdydoody - we did make a payment to the church yes. And how would someone prove they were religious or not?