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Original poster

what do you think of people that have their lo's christened when they are not reallt religous?

146 replies

pregnantbabyelephant · 21/11/2007 19:35

good excuse for a party ? nice to introduce the baby to the extended family ?
better to have a naming service? has anyone actually done this ?

better saved for those that do go to church on a regular basis ?
or ok for those that dont go to church but are just belivers?

is it something people do to please the older people in the families like the gp's?

OP posts:
Doodledootoo · 21/11/2007 20:14

Message withdrawn

Cocobear · 21/11/2007 20:15

I feel about it the same way I feel about women who change their names when they get married, ie, it doesn't make a lot of sense to me, but I reckon they must have their reasons. And it's none of my business.

Upsidedowncake · 21/11/2007 20:16

I didn't get married in a church because i'm agnostic, but we had ds christened ... because I'm agnostic.

I'd also rather like him to go to a church school so that at least he'd have the opportunity to experience that kind of upbringing.

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lennygirl · 21/11/2007 20:17

Message withdrawn

Bluestocking · 21/11/2007 20:23

Where I live, it's because people want their children to go the fraightfully nice CofE school round the corner, rather than having to rub shoulders with the mixed bag of kids at the local primary. So I think, you flaming whited sepulchres, it's just as well there isn't an afterlife, or you lot would be in for an uncomfortable session of explaining yourselves to the big ol' imaginary beardy one in the sky.

NorthernLurker · 21/11/2007 20:26

Oh bluestocking - I shouldn't but rofl

Unfitmother · 21/11/2007 20:26

I agree that it hypocritical if you do not believe the baptismal promises.

Bluestocking · 21/11/2007 20:27

Sorry, NL!

ballbaby · 21/11/2007 20:27

Ha - I still think even if you don't believe it's better to live a Christian way of life than not - but that's just my opinion.

Desiderata · 21/11/2007 20:28

Do you need to be baptized to go to a C of E school?

Both the schools in my village are C of E, and I doubt that 10% of the children have been baptized. Or does it just work when one school is, and the other is non-denominational?

NorthernLurker · 21/11/2007 20:29

NO Bluestocking don't be sorry I cannot tell you how much I need a good laugh tonight

ballbaby · 21/11/2007 20:29

You don't but it helps if it's oversubscribed

GrapefruitMoon · 21/11/2007 20:30

In my experience, many people do this because it is part of their culture as much as being a religion - hard to explain to someone in the UK really but if you've ben brought up in a predominantly catholic country you might get what I mean! I often refer to myself as a secular catholic.... in the same way that many jewish people refer to themselves as such even if they are non-practising!

And why deprive a child of the opportunity to have some religion in their lives just because the parents aren't regular churchgoers?

Bluestocking · 21/11/2007 20:30

Desi, the school in question is very much in demand and one of their top criteria for selection is that you regularly warm a pew in the local CofE church. The vicar writes letters of support for families who do so and he's completely incorruptible - I did ask him what his price was and he pretended not to understand what I was getting at.

Original poster
pregnantbabyelephant · 21/11/2007 20:32

so has anyone actually had a naming or humanist do?
ive never been to one

OP posts:
Bluestocking · 21/11/2007 20:32

"And why deprive a child of the opportunity to have some religion in their lives just because the parents aren't regular churchgoers?"
My DS gets plenty of fairy stories, myths and fables - if he wants to indulge in religiously sanctioned fiction when he's older then that's entirely up to him.

Boredveryverybored · 21/11/2007 20:33

I'm not particularly religious in that I don't go to church, pray a lot etc etc. But I was brought up catholic and still hold a lot of those beliefs. The last time I stepped into a church was to have my dd christened 6yrs ago. It seemed important to me at the time that we did it, though I'm not entirely sure why tbh. I also doubt I would have heard the end of it from pil if I hadn't had her christened!

Would that act really annoy those that attend church regularly and are much more religious than me??

francagoestohollywood · 21/11/2007 20:34

I'm always baffled when old friends, whose religiousness has never been apparent, get married in church or get their children baptized

expatinscotland · 21/11/2007 20:34

i don't really care.

i suppose they have their reasons.

i don't believe in God at all myself.

Oblomov · 21/11/2007 20:34

I am not dissimilar to Firefly.
Dh's family are big time catholic. So is everyone else we know. I am not.
I am not a ....practicing christian.
We got married at the local registry office.
We wanted ds to go to the local catholic school. It is one of the best in Surrey, one of the best in the country.
We had him baptised. Father signed the forms for the school. I will take ds to mass every so often. Not every week, but I will take him.
I am comfortable with this. If you think I am hypocritical, that does not upset me. It sits o.k. with me.

NorthernLurker · 21/11/2007 20:36

Boredveryverybored - I've already said it doesn't bother me - but I can't speak for the whole faith of course

GrapefruitMoon · 21/11/2007 20:38

BS, as you are obviously not keen on organised religion I assume you are not a churchgoer - so why would you care whether someone has their children baptised or not, whatever their reasons?

Mercy · 21/11/2007 20:42

Doodledootoo, do you really mean that?

I didn't marry in church and my children are not baptised. When dd was 3 weeks old she was given a blessing by a close family friend (a Catholic priest) which was fine by me.

Both my children are quite interested in visiting churches (as opposed to attending). We visited one recently in East Anglia and ds said in hushed tones 'I think baby Jesus lives here'.

Which is interesting considering they attend a multi-faith/cultural school and we as a family don't follow any organised religion.

jenny459 · 21/11/2007 20:44

Peachy et al - HA! I like the way people have mistaken me for an angry Christian! Quite the opposite. My husband and I got married in a civil ceremony and had our children 'named' in civil ceremonies because we DO have principles.

Nettee · 21/11/2007 20:44

It is lovely to read some the Christian welcoming type messages on this thread - Northern Lurker being a prime example. I am fairly sketchy about my faith but feel that I want to get DD baptised - and it is all arranged. I did a lot of thinking before DS's baptism and decided to go ahead because:

it is traditional - I and all my ancestors were baptised - to my knowledge and it is good to carry on the line

There is a part of me that feels it is important to have a spiritual regcognition of the new person - and a social one - hence the party

I want them to have have godparents - i think that is a lovely relationship to have - I have enjoyed my own godparents

I feel that the actual baptism is between dc and God and that my faith or lack of it should not matter. I am glad I was baptised.

I know I have to stand up and declare that I believe things that I am not sure about but sometimes I do believe them and that is how the church does it so I have to accept that.

I do think that the church would benefit from welcoming families wanting baptism for their children as others have said as they would then be more likely to come back. I take DS to the family service when I can and I think it is important for him to learn about the Christian faith that is at the centre of our culture.

It is certainly not about wanting presents - I really haven't given that any thought at all, nor about wanting a church school. Perhaps you could accuse me of wanting an excuse for a party but there is definatly more to it. I think it is like the way someone described the significance of a church wedding. I am sure that no militant atheist would go for baptism of their children and I think that as the established church the Church of England has a duty to welcome people who believe in something.

One of my doubts about it is if dc do become born again Christians they might be annoyed that they had been baptised as infants rather than when they had their conversion but I suppose that is what confirmation is for.