Tell me about your non-instagrammable life with a toddler

[LemonLemonLemon]

Let me start by saying I know I shouldn’t pay too much attention to Insta-mums, but we all get sucked in. It’s easy to see the home cooked meals and perfect nurseries and feel inadequate, so let’s cheer each other up?

Tell me about the meals you feed your toddler and the house you live in. The bits that would never make it on the ‘gram.

Here’s mine: today for dinner he had a cheese omelette and beans. Yesterday he had fish fingers with waffles and beans.

His room currently features a large basket of clothing to put away and mismatched furniture. There’s no wall stickers or cute murals. His toy storage is a repurposed changing table. I bribed him to get out the bath today with a flap jack because he refused to move.

Snap with the basket of washed laundry waiting to be put away lol!

My toddler is currently watching Peppa pig on the ipad before bed

Mine had a bowl of plain white rice for dinner. He's currently watching Cloud babies on YouTube despite it being very close to bedtime because it's too noisy to put him down; his sister is having a massive threenager tantrum because I won't give her chocolate. The cleaner isn't coming this week (lucky to have one I know) so all of this is happening amongst food remnants and toys strewn across EVERYTHING.

We’ve been toilet training today. My 3yo son did a poo on the patio and smeared it in with his hands.
Whilst he was doing this, I was on the lawn with my 21 month old who did a wee on the paddling pool slide then slid down it.

I don’t have Instagram.

I feel better already!

Even worse: mine won’t watch one second of tv and I find myself actively trying to encourage it so he will sit still for one minute!

As an aside, I’m wondering if my DH will give me flapjack if I refuse to get out of the bath?

Mine is currently doing his pre bedtime gymnastics session in his cot.
There is a massive pile of laundry in here to put away.
He has eaten next to nothing today except for an ice lolly as I suspect he's teething or just too hot and has refused nearly all food except for the ice lolly. And some crisps.

@Willwebebuyingnumber11 this made me chuckle! At least it was all outside. After the day you’ve had, I think you deserve a flapjack in the bath at least!

Today we had chicken nuggets for tea - vegetables were thrown on the floor. We have a rug hanging up inside now (as threatening to rain here) that is only partially dry and actually smells of damp dog even though we don't have a dog. Toddler will not stop trying to pull it off our clothes horse/ chairs.
My husband drilled through a cable last night trying to put our new curtain rail up so now have new curtains and curtain rail lying crumbled in the corner of the sofa, relegated from priority job to now getting sorted after this stupid cable is fixed. Trying to keep toddler from playing with this has been fun!!

And our exercise bike (NOT a peleton!) Is literally covered in washing as nowhere else to hang them. Obviously there are toys EVERYWHERE the eye can see as well.

I used to use a moses basket within a cot when #2 came along. #1 kept her books in the rest of the cot. #2 only ate sandwiches for a 3 month period when he was 18 months or so. He's adult now, and a strapping (not fat) 6'2". He is also a chef in quite a posh restaurant.
I am so grateful that nobody had invented Instagram

Penne with a dolmio stir in sauce for lunch and fish fingers, potatoes and peas for tea. Waaayy too much TV. Drank a lot of fly-filled leftover paddling pool water that they fished out of the paddling pool with a dirty bucket. House is a total shitshow. I do attempt to do better usually but this was day 4 of isolating after being a contact of a positive case so we’re on survival mode. DC is 3.5 so I thought I’d be better at this by now!

We bribe our 3yr old with chocolate every day to try to get a poo in the potty. It hasn't yet worked and we get a midnight poo and nappy change every night.

I’m envious of you all!
I’ve spent hours today weighing up what to do about my daughter’s illness- hay fever? Pneumonia? Covid?
And then spent hours suctioning her.
It’s not Instagram worthy, her medical equipment and so on, but given that it takes a lot more to make her room HER room than a credit card, it fucking should be on Instagram

@LemonLemonLemon haha I am the same. I am like please sit down and watch TV. After not v long he is moving around again causing havoc. Things that regularly cause meltdowns over here - nappy change, being in the car, not being allowed my phone/the remote etc. Not being given a spoon as it just goes immediately on the floor so is pointless. Lol lucky I love him!

I've just been getting my darling 2.5 year old to go to bed, with screams of "no no" "stop it" and " I don't like mummy" - all with the bedroom window open...my crime? trying to read him a book before putting him in the cot... I quite often wonder what the neighbours must think.

His bedroom looks like an explosion of toys and clothes. Oh and we had chicken nuggets and waffles for tea

I'm having a wine.

I gave mine Jaffa cakes for breakfast a few days ago because it was the day of my dads funeral and I had zero fight in me that morning! It won’t kill her!
Today for dinner she had tinned Heinz spaghetti Bolognese and toast a good nutritional tea right there 😂 shit happens!

@LemonLemonLemon

I feel better already!

Even worse: mine won’t watch one second of tv and I find myself actively trying to encourage it so he will sit still for one minute!

I had one of these. I swear it wasn't performance parenting... I'd have paid good cash to make him sit down and watch TV to give me a bloody break!!!!

Nearly 6 and he's still not fussed by tv....

DS had one piece of plain pasta for dinner today. I don't think anything approach a vegetable as made it near him. We've also had the TV on all day (he's off sick from nursery so I was trying to keep him quiet so I could work).

...I don't know what instamums are! Is it just mums on Instagram? Or braggy mums on Instagram? or #makingmemories mums on instagram?

I work full time and am in busy season, so last night my toddler ate fish fingers and spinach cakes from the freezer while glued to Sesame street on my laptop, while I frantically answered emails and DH got stuck in a conference call with the CFO of his company.

Today I'm taking him out for a burger and chips from ShakeShack because I CBA to cook. #motheroftheyear

@firetruckandduck when I was a child my DB knew how to throw a tantrum and one summer evening when he was shouting “no mummy please mummy no” in a desperate plea not to go to bed, she went in the garden to show the neighbours, who were sat outside, that she wasn’t killing him.

I was feeling fed up of all the lovely sibling photos on FB and Instagram.

My two year old still won't go near the baby, at all.

I stuck them together on the chair and held up a jelly baby and got a photo. What you can't hear is the

Wahhhhh, she touching me, she kicking me, plaster mummy, get doctor Susie sheep, mummy help, mummy help

Ah I stay well clear of that.

Today I asked my toddler is he'd like some of my ice cream. He swung at it and decided to sit in a corner and try his nappy cream instead..

Took him to the arcades on his reins he decided he was going to run, swing himself round and smack his head into one of the machines.

He walked round most of the morning with a nappy thong. Refused to let me move it. You do you boy .

@bookh

I was feeling fed up of all the lovely sibling photos on FB and Instagram.

My two year old still won't go near the baby, at all.

I stuck them together on the chair and held up a jelly baby and got a photo. What you can't hear is the

Wahhhhh, she touching me, she kicking me, plaster mummy, get doctor Susie sheep, mummy help, mummy help

How do people get perfect pictures of there children?

I can guarantee there will be no picture of 3yr old DS standing at the front door on his first day of nursery cos the kid either bolts, cries or does this evil smile that only comes out when he sees a camera

I have to sneak photos of the two of them which means I have a lot of profile and back of the head photos 😂

Oh and for dinner were these chicken strip things and chips. I said no to faffing around with dinner today.

My toddler is full of cold so a milkshake was the only thing she would take at lunch we have watched far too much tv and there are sheets hanging everywhere because she has vommed on everyset of bed linen i have