Tell me about your non-instagrammable life with a toddler

[LemonLemonLemon]

Let me start by saying I know I shouldn’t pay too much attention to Insta-mums, but we all get sucked in. It’s easy to see the home cooked meals and perfect nurseries and feel inadequate, so let’s cheer each other up?

Tell me about the meals you feed your toddler and the house you live in. The bits that would never make it on the ‘gram.

Here’s mine: today for dinner he had a cheese omelette and beans. Yesterday he had fish fingers with waffles and beans.

His room currently features a large basket of clothing to put away and mismatched furniture. There’s no wall stickers or cute murals. His toy storage is a repurposed changing table. I bribed him to get out the bath today with a flap jack because he refused to move.

My 17th month old stayed up until gone 9pm tonight.. and she had some of my doner meat and chips kebab for tea. I do usually cook or make or food at home but I just couldn’t be bloody bothered tonight. I’ve not given her a bath either, she’s gone to bed with bbq sauce in her hair.

I’ll try again at this parenting thing tomorrow.

Toddler demon child here had a sucky yogurt for breakfast just so she at least ate something before going out this morning- she refuses to eat breakfast these days just for fun I think.

Said child then had a fish finger sandwich for dinner because I had to get DC1 to swimming lessons.

Just before bed she decided to pinch a pear out of the fruit bowl and ate it from the bottom up (including the stalky end bit), got half way and decided she didn't want anymore so spat it all over the floor.

She then decided to attack her older sister with the garden sprinkler attachment for the hose- right across the forehead.

Oh, I let her play on my phone after bath because I've found an amazing toddler app that actually makes her sit still and very quiet for at least 30 seconds.

My house is shit pit.

All of the above I would never have done with my first.

@Willwebebuyingnumber11

Hahaha *@Justme10* I also have lots of back of the head shots... usually the boys running away from me and each other but when I send them to my DH or family they always say “ lovely shot of them having fun” ! Or “so nice to see natural photos”

I don’t have a choice. They don’t smile on command 😂😂😂 they prefer to pull evil faces or shove fingers up noses!

That reminds me of our last holiday to Disney World when DS was 2.5. Trying to take a family photo in front of Cinderella's castle. The Disney photographer got some great photos of our DS with his finger up his nose, and then us being shocked and pulling his finger back out.

This is making feel better.
Tried to start potty training 2.5 yo. I thought the first day went well. Yesterday completely freaked out and kept screaming "I don't want to" when asked to sit in the potty. We stopped after four hours of her holding her pee and screaming murder.
Today in the other hand screamed at Bath time (which she has always loved) as it's wet and feels like pee.
Dinner today has been 2 pieces of chicken from my takeaway Chinese and ice cream.
There is 2 baskets of laundry to put away in the middle of the living room since 3 days ago.

This thread is making me feel much better.

Toddler (21mo) is full of cold. As a result she's coughing like she's been smoking 40 a day since her birth. Just what you need when there's an ongoing respiratory virus pandemic. She's also passed said cold onto DH and I. DH's has mutated into man flu, while mine is just a sniffle (my words, not his - he'd be under the patio otherwise). House is a shit hole. At least 3 loads of clean laundry to put away, and the vacuum hasn't made an appearance in more time than I care to admit. DD carefully ate around all the vegetables in her lunch (which was last night's dinner that she refused to eat). Tonight's dinner was fajitas. She ate the grated cheese and maybe 1/4 tortilla. Nothing else. Breakfast was merely played with. There was a meltdown when I had the audacity to refuse her more sweets (she'd already had a funsize haribo and a few jelly tots) and tried offering her fruit, cheese twists, bear paws and actual cheese (all things she loves) instead. Watched far too much TV as well.

Thank God she's cute.

Mine didn't fall asleep until midnight last night as MIL let her sleep 5-7:30pm. 🙄
She had a small scoop of ice cream for breakfast 🤣

We’ve recently swapped her cot for a big bed. She got out of bed about 30 times last night between bedtime and finally going to sleep at 10pm. At one point she managed to get out the house (!) and my husband chased her down the garden.

She regularly scratches me, pokes me and pulls my hair so I regularly have minor facial injuries!

I frequently use treats as bribes too

@LemonLemonLemon
I've got one of these too but recently she started to watch for longer than five minutes and I can finally poo in peace. Keep trying !

My children are all grown up with children of their own. All I can say is thank god there was no Instagram etc when my kids were young. I think I'd have spent their younger years feeling a total failure.

My 2 year old climbed onto the dining room table, did a shit in the middle of it, laughed and told me to eat it.

@Ducksarenotmyfriends

My 2 year old climbed onto the dining room table, did a shit in the middle of it, laughed and told me to eat it.

This made me laugh out loud .

I bribed my 2yo with an ice lolly for breakfast to get him to put his shoes on so DD wasn't late for school.

I had a bath with 23 month old DD a few days ago and she did a poo in it. And then picked it up and threw it at me (I am choosing to believe that what she meant by that was “look what I’ve done” rather than “I hate you so I’m going to throw poo at you”)

Love this thread.

I am 36 weeks pregnant with a 3 yr old and 2 yr old. Living in half a house (my kitchen is in my bathroom) because we're renovating/extending. There is stuff EVERYWHERE!

Also, my 2yr old who was doing fantastic in his big boy pants is having some sort of regression/rebellion and has now taken to pooing in his pants, which is especially infuriating since he hadn't pooed in a nappy for over a year! I clean it up and then puke (pregnancy does not agree with me).

She wanted to help me put on my shoes. First i accidentally got my shoe on with her finger stuck in the back of it. After she got over that my foot slipped while putting on the other shoe and i accidentally stood on her fingers. Way to go.

@AnotherGo

My two year old threw his bottle of squash (yes he drinks squash, not water, because I'm terrible) at my MILs head. I told him to stop throwing. He threw it at my newborns head. I took it away from him and he cried so much he almost threw up. While my MIL stood in the corner shaking her head and then said "the baby is hungry". Found myself dealing with a tantrum with a boob hanging out trying to get into newborns mouth, while covered in sweat and milk and squash. And then my husband came back after a "after work swim" and said how tired he felt.

Instagram can fuck right off.

OMG this all over and again! @AnotherGo my DH does the same, comes back after a run in the evening takes a shower (alone without kids!) then eats (warm food no screaming involved) then proclaims he is really tired and lays in bed with his phone watching shit.

I hate the weather, by the time I get 2 under 2 ready to go anywhere one needs a nap and the other a change and I need a cold shower and G&T.

Today the older one is too sick for nursery so have them both at home, coughing sneezing feeling under weather (with myself ill all the same but no one cares, obv...) so it was cookies for breakfast, pancake for lunch and will be whatever we have in the fridge for dinner but I am bracing myself for a horrendous evening as I have a dentist appointment and have to leave both kids with DH (who has been sulking about this for a week saying how he cannot do two kids at one time...).

Definitely not going on social media.

Can I join even though mine is not technically a toddler? She’s 4 and this is the current state of my living room after she climbed into the cupboard under the stairs and emptied it while I was prepping tea. She’s discorvered all the little bits of crap that was shoved under there after Christmas so at least it’s kept her entertained for a while!

My living room is a tip but they are both sleeping at the same time and I just know if I start tidying I will set off one of these stupid noisy toys that will start screeching the alphabet or something so it's getting left 😂

This morning we had a break from Netflix for a while... and played iPad instead.

At lunch he threw his dinner on the floor, so I picked it all up, brushed it off and rinsed some of it and that's what he had.

Instead of going to toddler gym, we just turned the floor into an assault course or toys and he tired himself out tripping over them and crying. But I'm not allowed to life them or he screams in fury as I'm destroying his game.

When we tried to do some colouring, he ripped the colouring pages up, stuck stickers all over the table and snapped all the crayons into tiny pieces.

Instead of doing hand painting, he covered his hands in nappy cream and did hand prints all over the sofa and windows.

I don't put him on Instagram funnily enough 🤣

@bookh DS wants to go near the baby all the time. Which is sweet, but I spend so much time checking he's not pushing down on her, telling him to be gentle/not cuddle her by leaning over her face etc. She also currently has glitter on her head

Oh these are perfect. Can’t tell which poo story I like best - but you’d never see a mummy blogger post any of these!

In answer to a PP, I class insta-mums as those ones that make content about their children and lives and somehow make us all feel a bit unkempt and inadequate.

Mines having pasta n sauce for dinner (or spreading it on the high chair) , while I see someone on insta giving home made fish pie and a load of veg to their child.

@LemonLemonLemon I'm PP! Thanks for the clarification. I am def unkept and barely adequate with a heavy reliance on snacks and bribery.

@allfurcoatnoknickers just my interpretation mind.

We’re all normal and doing the best we can and the more we share that, the better we will all feel

I have Instagram and love it but I know it's not all real so take it with a pinch of salt.

My son had a danger nap at 4:30pm today, cue screaming as if he's in pain when I tried to wake him up. Wouldn't eat his dinner so he had a choc chip brioche and a peppa pig cake that we made earlier. He still seemed knackered so I'm putting him to bed already(normally it's 8pm) and he's just rolling around his bed. I could put money on him getting some energy in about 10 minutes and refusing to sleep til 9pm😳

Danger nap is the perfect description for what my son does as well, I'm stealing that