Tell me about your non-instagrammable life with a toddler

[LemonLemonLemon]

Let me start by saying I know I shouldn’t pay too much attention to Insta-mums, but we all get sucked in. It’s easy to see the home cooked meals and perfect nurseries and feel inadequate, so let’s cheer each other up?

Tell me about the meals you feed your toddler and the house you live in. The bits that would never make it on the ‘gram.

Here’s mine: today for dinner he had a cheese omelette and beans. Yesterday he had fish fingers with waffles and beans.

His room currently features a large basket of clothing to put away and mismatched furniture. There’s no wall stickers or cute murals. His toy storage is a repurposed changing table. I bribed him to get out the bath today with a flap jack because he refused to move.

Got home from a training/KIT day at work, house was a complete state (and usually MIL is super tidy so I knew she’d probably struggled and been too polite to say), DH wasn’t back from his course yet, kids were both naked and filthy, baby had only had one nap hours ago and needed to go to bed, left DS(2) with MIL and got baby down (MIL clearly desperate to leave 😂), DH waltzes in and gets ready to go out again (he coaches and couldn’t let the club down - I can’t begrudge him one evening off as he’d totally do the same for me but I’m still bitter tonight), MIL leaves, DS has a meltdown, get DS upstairs, bathroom is about a million degrees as we’re hatching chicks as their mum abandoned them and I didn’t have a heat lamp, DS starts interfering with chicks, DD wakes up screaming, I have to try to attend to all living creatures at once, bring both kids into my room, tried to take them both to DS’ room but he refused unless I’d carry him which I couldn’t do whilst breastfeeding DD, every time I think I’ve got DD settled DS starts shouting or bouncing about, lost my shit at him a bit, DD puked all over me a couple of times for good measure, eventually had to abandon her in the cot to take DS to his bed (sans tooth brushing because I couldn’t face the hot bathroom and potential chick debacle again), speed read Hairy McClary and Solomon Crocodile whilst DD cried downstairs, ran back downstairs, sorted DD out… and now I’m lying on my bed in my pants, smelling a bit of sick, contemplating all the shit I have to sort out before another mega long day tomorrow and the hideous state of the kitchen.

Oh also basically all DS has eaten for the last week is Jaffa cakes, cake, crisps, and the odd slice of toast. I wish I was joking but tonsillitis on top of already fussy eating has further restricted his already limited list.

Instagram version: Picked the children up from nursery and met up with a friend and her children at the park. Children had a lovely time, played on all the equipment, watched the wildlife and laughed a lot. We then popped to the local shop for a snack and had a lovely long walk back across the fields to our car while the children ran around getting tired out for bedtime. At home they ate their dinner, had a shower and went to bed.

Reality: Picked children up, went home and changed them as they were filthy from nursery, met up with friend at the park. Children fascinated by gigantic bloody rat in said park and we spent our time fielding them to prevent them approaching it. Enforced turn taking on equipment due to screaming which turned into very fake scream laughing that hurt my ears. Went to shop, chased friends eldest and my youngest down at top speed and caught them in the toilet roll aisle. Bribed children with doughnuts and cookies. Went back across field towards the car. Left eldest with friend as I sprinted the entire length of the field, rugby tackled my 3 year old to the ground before leaving up and continuing the chase of friends eldest. Grabbed her, had to carry her back to where I had tackled my now sulking 3 year old so she didn't escape to get him to stand up and then walked back to friend across the entire field while trying to catch my breath. Children had a sandwich and doughnut for dinner, screamed about who got to be scrubbed first in the shower, screamed at who got kissed for bed first, who had their story first and finally fell asleep while I slouched on the sofa ignoring my washing piles.

I'm so glad I'm not the only one whose toddler won't eat. Mine has a terrible diet, it's 80% milk, 10% biscuits and 10% everything else. No matter what I offer, it's one bite and dropped. She waits for the milk, and won't sleep without it.

My bigger one is a terrible eater too, but at least he eats more fruit.

@pinkkittenz

Yes that's my toddlers diet too 🤣

Milk based meals work in this house

DS likes Heinz chicken soup as well?

My 18 mo twin2 is still awake.

DD had pretty much just a mini milk for her dinner tonight. She had one bite of waffle, two spoonfuls of the banana porridge I'd made her just so she'd eat something filling, and then a mini milk as her big sister had one (after I fed her her dinner, despite her being 4).

Today we got the paddling pool out for the first time this year. 2.5yo loved it last summer, would be 11m olds first experience of it. Excited to see their reactions, and to get some cute photos 😊

Reality, first of all toddler not happy about being on grass barefoot. Clung to washing pole refusing to move. Put baby in pool first, he instantly burst into tears. Took baby out pool, my dress now soaked. Tried to tempt toddler away from pole, told No. Put baby on grass, picked up toddler, his cries of No intensified as I tried to lower him into pool. Finally got him to stand in pool. Put baby back in pool, more tears. Took him out, dress now saturated. Toddler played with toys while standing in pool for about 5 minutes, then got out and filled watering can with stones.

Outcome: No photos, got totally soaked, not planning to take them swimming any time soon.

I love this thread! Mine are older than toddlers but funny how not much has changed

Insta version: taking advantage of school inset day to escape to the coast, glamping to maximise fun and exploring time, try local food and do the coastal walks

Reality version: thunderstorms and awful traffic meant a 3 hr drive became 5, featuring 100% screen time in the back apart from when I made them switch off for the last 30 mins to enjoy the scenery, when they fought about who would see the sea first. DS flooded the bed so now I'm in the local laundrette having had to change a note in the bookies, while DH lets them go rabid in the arcade. DS faked having a shower this morning and I can't be arsed to argue, and DD only ate the ketchup and vinegar sachets from her fish and chips last night. And we forgot the tonic.

Returned to this to make me feel better after DS’s food intake today of half a scrambled egg, half a croissant, 3 peas and almost a whole packet of those Ella’s Kitchen melty stick things. Remainder of the packet ground into the carpet.

I bet Joe Wicks doesn’t have to deal with this

Returning here to record our morning at Rugbytots where to all intents and purposes it looks like 6 cute 2 year olds run around with rugby balls in instagrammable chaos.

In reality mine cried at having to have the hand gel on, one of the others threw his ball at another's head and made him cry and they all ran at each other and forgot to stop, cue cold, wet muddy shorts and knees all around.

I am also cold, wet, muddy and grumpy. And DS2 has refused to eat anything bar biscuits and milk today.

Booked a nice pub lunch for Father's Day with the in laws so all #blessed and #makingmemories except....

We were late, DD3 has complained all day and refused to eat anything, 7mo DS knocked an entire glass of coke over the table, both DH and I are painfully hungover but having to pretend that we're not so no one will we're dreadful parents. I need a nap.

@DisgruntledPelican - the joe wicks comment had me laughing! My DH once sent me a screenshot of one of his stories where both kids were sat still trying something new. Our DS would have launched himself straight off the table top!

I've had a clear out of the freezer today and binned all the brocolli muffins, butternut squash scones and fish cakes that I lovingly made DS probably a year ago but he hated every one of them. Today he has eaten 3 crisps. He's currently poking a bit of radish though which I'm calling a win.

4 year old is still surviving on air. I expect she'll next need to eat around October.

My DDs often sometimes come running in for their dinner, take one look at what's on offer and burst into tears. You're welcome, darling.

Booked a table for Father's Day. DS1, 6, basically ate a small bite of chickenandkept trying to escape the table. DS2,18mo, fell asleep not quite in his dinner, DS3, 18mo screamed a lot and ate sauce

Ah This reminds me of someone I follow on IG she posts all this stuff the good and the bad and it’s very real and refreshing

@SpamIAm

I've had a clear out of the freezer today and binned all the brocolli muffins, butternut squash scones and fish cakes that I lovingly made DS probably a year ago but he hated every one of them. Today he has eaten 3 crisps. He's currently poking a bit of radish though which I'm calling a win.

4 year old is still surviving on air. I expect she'll next need to eat around October.

Oh God - veg muffins. 'Popped' in the freezer as instructed by Annabel Karmel. 🤦🏻‍♀️

my oldesr is 19 & my youngest is 6 so toddler years are behind us, but with 7 kids with never had an immaculate catalogue living.
even if we had stopped at 1 that insta-yummy-mummy stuff is just not my style.

it was 31°C the other day so kids had cereal for dinner.
and here's kitchen from the other night; DH & were both knackered so shock horror left it for the morning to sort because we are normal people, not pretentious showoffs

excuse typos, I'm half asleep

Carpet very worn away, pants on clothes horse, feral child watching iPad, 'eating' (covered in) pizza for dinner. It's Sunday fuck it

This thread is making my laugh!
Gave DS a ready meal tonight as a one off. He eats the entire Hong, no fuss. So it really is just my cooking he doesn't like
Trying to put 5month old DD to bed and she's just found a dummy in her cot from 2 weeks ago when I tried one in desperation. It is not sterile, yet it is in her mouth

My kids are eating cooked pasta (dry) in front of the telly while I have a wine. This is winning for me because 20 mins ago the 4 year old was screaming at me from the bathroom because I dared pull the plug out of her bath (she had been in an hour) and I told her that spiders eat flies and there was a spider and a fly in the bathroom and the SPIDER ISNT EATING THE FLY!. And the 2 year old was pulling at my trouser leg quietly sobbing because he wanted chocolate. #makingmemories

Oh I love this thread. I have a 4 year old and a 4 week old, needless to my house is a mess.

I have a constant rotation of washing that goes from washing machine, clothes horse, kitchen table, on kiddos and back in the washing machine. The last time I put something away in a drawer was pre-baby. I also accidentally put two nappies (clean thank god!) in the washing machine today.

4 year old stripped off of her own accord earlier today and has been running around in her pants ever since. She’s reverted to wanting to wee on the potty instead of the toilet and I just haven’t had the energy to fight it (we’ll sort it before she starts school, I keep telling myself)

We had hot dogs and chips for tea, at the last minute I thought ‘oh shit…vegetables’ and quickly chopped up some cucumber and chucked it on.