Proud BF Mummy

[SarahSteedman82]

Many of my friends didn't or couldn't so don't quite understand but I'm so proud to have got to 4 years of breastfeeding, our 4 year old stopped when his little sister came along 2 years ago and she has now been 3 days without following on from my 4 year boobversay a week ago :)

Now I have my boobs back lol

[quote DoucheCanoe]@Somethingsnappy I don't think many would deny that support for breastfeeding mothers is lacking and many of us have voiced our disappointment online and in real life to try and rectify this.

I don't think it's fair to say that people who are confused by someone posting about getting diamonds for keeping their kid alive. Be proud that you've done your best sure, but bringing gifts into it is bizarre. it's like the whole god awful "push present" trend.

And the old playground argument that any one who disagrees is "bitter" (I'm not I managed to formula feed #1 and breastfeed #2 for 18 months with very little effort) or jealous (jewellery holds absolutely no value to me) is ridiculous.[/quote]
The jealousy over the diamonds was to be taken with a pinch of salt. It was very lighthearted. I have never ever used the word bitter about this matter, although I appreciate you may have not meant that aimed at me.

I think this is exactly how I feel.
I'm pleased for OP, but was it necessary to boast about? And it is boasting

Congratulations OP, genuinely. But don't feel victimised if other people are defensive about how your post made them feel. You wanted a discussion, be prepared for others to react to your words

Really good post and I agree.

Just like a PP said doesn't matter how they're fed because all the goodness gets washed away with copious amounts of canned drinks ,Domino pizzas and kebabs

@GreyhoundG1rl

Boobie awards, Christ on crutches 🤪 I'm quite firmly in the first camp. No bitterness or jealousy here, just bemusement at the desire for accolades from online strangers.

If there were a genuine, ready-made boobie award, I wonder what it would look like? Any ideas, anyone?

Good for you. You could have enjoyed the fact that you had a choice in the matter without throwing shade at your friends online though.

This?

😂😂😂

@GreyhoundG1rl

This?

Noooo, biscuits are taken for granted. A. Boobie award has to look the part....

Ah, ok. Well, I'm not flashing mine (three kids later they ain't what they used to be).

@DoucheCanoe

That's the point I take issue with too *@wildeverose*.

Whether the OP intended to or not, she has differentiated herself from her formula feeding friends because she has a "boobversary" when they obviously don't and that they just wouldn't understand.

This is a personal thing that some do/don't "get" and has nothing to do with whether they did or did not breastfeed.

This was poorly worded by me to be honest, couldn't or wouldn't was not meant as a dig why then or anyone, I meant it in the sense of 2 of my closest friends wanted to and tried but we're unable to and as such I didn't want to cause any upset to then as one in particular struggled and still does with not being able to. Another did for a short time and stopped as her DP made her and again it's an emotive subject for her (she has since left him thankfully).

I was not boasting, someone asked me what the present was which I hadn't mentioned and I answered, I was trying to out across that my husband has been a great support and it was his way of giving me a keepsake which I appreciate.

Who asked you what the present was?

Well done OP. It's a great achievement 👏

This is why I think breastfeeding posts come across as smug. For the simple reason that people do post to tell everyone else that they have done it.
You never see people posting feeling proud that they've formula fed for however long, or weaned their baby onto solids, or potty trained, or taught them to speak/walk/cartwheel, or any of the other parts of childrearing that everyone else does.
It's like people buying "push presents" (not envy)
You're doing something that millions of other women have done before you and will do after you, but also everyone has their own way of bringing up their own children. It's all worthy of praise but in a general sense, none of it needs putting on a pedestal above any of the rest of it. And I'm bored of people putting breastfeeding on this pedestal, same as co sleeping and "attachment parenting". It is just another way to make women feel guilty while pretending to celebrate us.

I really hate that all pro breastfeeding threads turn into slinging match. It's sad that other posters can't see past their own disappointment in their experience and bitterness to simply congratulate someone on something that means a lot to them..... Or BUTT OUT...and say nothing. Just because someone is pro breastfeeding or has had a positive experience with it does NOT mean they are anti formula feeding, throwing shade at FF or are smug.

And so what if it's a little boasty? It's a hell of an achievement given how little support breastfeeding gets in this country and the breastfeeding rates. Let alone 2 babies to 2 years old.

@thenonsensepotter

This is why I think breastfeeding posts come across as smug. For the simple reason that people do post to tell everyone else that they have done it. You never see people posting feeling proud that they've formula fed for however long, or weaned their baby onto solids, or potty trained, or taught them to speak/walk/cartwheel, or any of the other parts of childrearing that everyone else does. It's like people buying "push presents" (not envy) You're doing something that millions of other women have done before you and will do after you, but also everyone has their own way of bringing up their own children. It's all worthy of praise but in a general sense, none of it needs putting on a pedestal above any of the rest of it. And I'm bored of people putting breastfeeding on this pedestal, same as co sleeping and "attachment parenting". It is just another way to make women feel guilty while pretending to celebrate us.

Exactly. It’s the desperation for validation that seem to permeate so many aspects of society today.

Only to 2? One of mine I fed til just over 2 (was pregnant, they self weaned), the other til over 4. And this was when I was a very young mum and it wasn’t the done thing.

They are adults now and it honestly doesn’t matter a toss.

Except - I deserve a bigger diamond.

@AnonAnom940

I really hate that all pro breastfeeding threads turn into slinging match. It's sad that other posters can't see past their own disappointment in their experience and bitterness to simply congratulate someone on something that means a lot to them..... Or BUTT OUT...and say nothing. Just because someone is pro breastfeeding or has had a positive experience with it does NOT mean they are anti formula feeding, throwing shade at FF or are smug.

And so what if it's a little boasty? It's a hell of an achievement given how little support breastfeeding gets in this country and the breastfeeding rates. Let alone 2 babies to 2 years old.

Thankyou everyone for your kind words, I won't reply or post again tbh as a result but this was never meant to be a boast or look at me thread, that was never my intention.

As I have said several times now I am pro feeding full stop and not in anyway against FF, fed is best regardless of which.

Well done op. I did a year each for my three (they weren't interested in longer!). Enjoy your freedom!

Why is everyone mentioning just the diamonds? It was a ‘striking amethyst and diamond necklace’ don’t you know.

@GreyhoundG1rl a pp poster did ask but probably wishes they hadn’t now since all they said they’d got for their efforts was a new bra and top.

Also, FF is fine. No judgement either way. Like a pp said I'm just happy I've managed to get them through to teenagehood!

I had 3 c-sections though so I've experienced my fair share of judgement - once from the anaesthetist who did my spinal joking thst I was too posh to push!

I bf'd because I was far too lazy to do bottles - I'm seriously impressed with the organisation that takes.

Nope, I don't wish I didn't ask. A top or new bra is what I'd want to treat myself to but if someone else's jam is jewellery (and it was a gift) then good for them and it does sound lovely!

Poor you OP. Mumsnet is too much oestrogen one platform frankly 😂😂😂. I see a reoccurring theme of goady and nasty comments throughout this platform. Bitchy women with nothing better to do. It seems no one can do anything right on here, always those one or two comments turning the conversation to something entirely different.. but alas I digress!

Good on you for feeding your little ones, and good on your husband for being appreciative of the difficulties it has caused. And all those complaining that formula fed mothers don't get that appreciation.. well why not? That's between them and their partners. Just like all the other women who got nothing at all. And if it's not something you do, then so what. OP is celebrating her joy, not yours. It's very normal in my family to breastfeed and we don't think twice about it or speak of how hard it truly can be, but that's us. If my husband got me a diamond necklace for it I'd probably find it over the top but find the sentiment sweet.

Enjoy your family OP (and if you want to be smug, then be smug. You did something you deem to be a great achievement and you've finally completed it. Who cares what a bunch of old farts on Mumsnet think )

It's sad that other posters can't see past their own disappointment in their experience and bitterness
Oh ffs! This again?

Congratulations OP that's something to be proud of. DC was jaundice and I had to feed him non stop, then express and bottle feed that just to stop him losing weight. He's now a thriving one year old and I'm so proud that I coped during those really tough times.

For the record, my sister FF and I am proud of her as her DC are happy and healthy too.

But j don't understand this culture - if you say you BF you immediately offend someone? BF should not be taboo.

@notsogreenthumb

Poor you OP. Mumsnet is too much oestrogen one platform frankly 😂😂😂. I see a reoccurring theme of goady and nasty comments throughout this platform. Bitchy women with nothing better to do. It seems no one can do anything right on here, always those one or two comments turning the conversation to something entirely different.. but alas I digress!

Good on you for feeding your little ones, and good on your husband for being appreciative of the difficulties it has caused. And all those complaining that formula fed mothers don't get that appreciation.. well why not? That's between them and their partners. Just like all the other women who got nothing at all. And if it's not something you do, then so what. OP is celebrating her joy, not yours. It's very normal in my family to breastfeed and we don't think twice about it or speak of how hard it truly can be, but that's us. If my husband got me a diamond necklace for it I'd probably find it over the top but find the sentiment sweet.

Enjoy your family OP (and if you want to be smug, then be smug. You did something you deem to be a great achievement and you've finally completed it. Who cares what a bunch of old farts on Mumsnet think )

Sexism and ageism in the same post well done you. Have a medal.