Proud BF Mummy

[SarahSteedman82]

Many of my friends didn't or couldn't so don't quite understand but I'm so proud to have got to 4 years of breastfeeding, our 4 year old stopped when his little sister came along 2 years ago and she has now been 3 days without following on from my 4 year boobversay a week ago :)

Now I have my boobs back lol

Maybe I should start a thread saying, I made huge sacrifices to send my child to Eton because getting a top private education will give them a better life. Or I cook from scratch every single meal and don’t let them eat any processed rubbish at all because it’s better for their health. I wonder what kind of responses those two threads would get.

You have got a massive chip on your shoulder.

And the reason I have a chip on my shoulder if you want to call it that, is because I feel I’m often made out to be a second class mother or someone who doesn’t care about my baby’s health compared to the perfect breastfeeding ideal.

@zeroalcohol what nonsense. These are your own issues and feelings that you are projecting, and I’m sorry that you have felt that way, but BFing mums are massively in the minority in this country, more so that almost any other country in the world, and are openly given the repeated message by people like you (you’re literally doing it right now), to shut up if they want to say anything positive about BFing.
As a formula feeding mother you are already in the significant majority in this country, let the OP enjoy her BF journey, it’s hard enough as it is, and it takes nothing away from your own experiences whatsoever.

Well done op. I have a nearly 2.5 yo still bf and no signs that he is ready to stop. I've gone down a few feeds so waiting for the little one to say enough I'm ready to move on I see this as an personal achievement as well as I never imagined I'd ever come this far. Actually, I never thought I would care for anyone other than myself and sacrifice my sleep, my time, my finances and my energy to look after a little human but I did which is shocking :) I've changed a lot as a person and I really like who I am now thanks to my little man 🙏

Oh give over @zeroalcohol don't project your own feelings about FF onto other posters. Noone was judgemental here against FF. The only judgment has been against breastfeeding and pro breastfeeding posters. Another example of how sadly unsupported breastfeeding mothers are.

@zeroalcohol

Maybe I should start a thread saying, I made huge sacrifices to send my child to Eton because getting a top private education will give them a better life. Or I cook from scratch every single meal and don’t let them eat any processed rubbish at all because it’s better for their health. I wonder what kind of responses those two threads would get.

Look, I'm not anti formula by any means and both of my children had some formula but I find it quite ironic that you have TWICE mentioned not feeding your child 'processed crap' and only 'wholesome healthy foods' but seem to be totally blind to the fact that if you FF them, then they literally had nothing but a diet of processed food for the first 6 months if their life.

@ParadiseLaundry I'm not following this thread fully so not involved in this exchange but your comment "a diet of processed food" has really upset me. I struggled to breastfeed from birth, and sought so much help (it was during lockdown so a lot of it was on Zoom and no family around) and ended up giving up completely two months of trying, failing, pumping and basically putting such extreme pressure on myself that I spiralled into depression. So I felt I had no choice but to FF my baby, who is doing just fine. But comments like yours are unbelievably cruel. I suppose it's how you feel so you may as well say it, but be aware you'll be upsetting a lot more people beyond just me.

@trufflepuff22

@ParadiseLaundry gave two of her children formula……

@Cleverpolly3 I don't think that changes the fact her comment was a bit cruel? She says she gave them "some formula" but that the other poster's child had "nothing but a diet of processed food" because she FF. I'm not really keen to get into the discussion on this thread as it seems a bit heated but I felt the need to point out that comment felt harsh - or at least it upset me.

@zeroalcohol. I'm sorry you've had such a hard time and other women who FF have often said the same thing. The judgement is clearly an issue that needs to be addressed. But can you not see that joining a thread to express all this, where the OP has not said or implied any judgement at all, could also be very unpleasant to the OP?

[quote trufflepuff22]@Cleverpolly3 I don't think that changes the fact her comment was a bit cruel? She says she gave them "some formula" but that the other poster's child had "nothing but a diet of processed food" because she FF. I'm not really keen to get into the discussion on this thread as it seems a bit heated but I felt the need to point out that comment felt harsh - or at least it upset me. [/quote]
I’m sorry but it is merely a statement of fact that formula is processed food. It is produced in a factory.

I do get that this comment might provoke a reaction in someone who didn’t want to formula feed and and had to but I don’t see it as a criticism merely an observation of a fact.

[quote NCwhatsmynameagain]@zeroalcohol what nonsense. These are your own issues and feelings that you are projecting, and I’m sorry that you have felt that way, but BFing mums are massively in the minority in this country, more so that almost any other country in the world, and are openly given the repeated message by people like you (you’re literally doing it right now), to shut up if they want to say anything positive about BFing.
As a formula feeding mother you are already in the significant majority in this country, let the OP enjoy her BF journey, it’s hard enough as it is, and it takes nothing away from your own experiences whatsoever.[/quote]
I agree with this

Why is it that someone celebrating something which IS an achievement should be denigrated and skewed due to another’s personal experience.
Particularly when there was no implied assertion of superiors over a formula feeding mother

The formula and breastfeeding debate always throws the fact that women are often their own worst enemies into sharp relief

[quote trufflepuff22]@ParadiseLaundry I'm not following this thread fully so not involved in this exchange but your comment "a diet of processed food" has really upset me. I struggled to breastfeed from birth, and sought so much help (it was during lockdown so a lot of it was on Zoom and no family around) and ended up giving up completely two months of trying, failing, pumping and basically putting such extreme pressure on myself that I spiralled into depression. So I felt I had no choice but to FF my baby, who is doing just fine. But comments like yours are unbelievably cruel. I suppose it's how you feel so you may as well say it, but be aware you'll be upsetting a lot more people beyond just me. [/quote]
@trufflepuff22 I am sorry you were upset by my comment and I'm sorry that your breastfeeding journey wasn't what you wanted it to be. It's thoroughly shit that you had such a lack of support and it is my opinion that the two months of breastfeeding you did was a fantastic achievement and the breast milk/breastfeeding you provided your child gave them a fantastic start (I know this opinion wouldn't be shared by everyone here though, maybe not even you).

It is not my opinion, however, that formula is processed food. It is fact. I do not have an opinion whatsoever on how other people choose to feed their own babies and believe that FF from birth is a completely valid choice.

I wanted to point out to zeroalcohol that she had said something factually inaccurate as I believe that we should be honest about decisions relating to infant feeding and make sure everyone has the correct information.

Hi @ParadiseLaundry thanks for your reply and thoughtful comments. I completely see your point and both you and @Cleverpolly3 are absolutely right about it being a statement of fact. I think it says more about my own insecurities that I took such offence. Apologies for derailing the thread!

@trufflepuff22

Hi *@ParadiseLaundry thanks for your reply and thoughtful comments. I completely see your point and both you and @Cleverpolly3* are absolutely right about it being a statement of fact. I think it says more about my own insecurities that I took such offence. Apologies for derailing the thread!

It was my first comment on this thread too, i think the thread had already been derailed so many times no one could remember what it started off with

No need to apologise

It was really nice to read the above exchange with two posters kindly and respectfully sorting out their differences. It's funny, I was flicking through old BF/FF threads from 15 or more years ago and they were so polite and respectful. There was healthy debate, but no bun fights. What's changed I wonder? I thought about starting a thread about it, but it might seem goady. I'm just interested why things have become so much more heated and intense on the subject over the last 10 years or do. The BF campaigns started long before then, I think

@Somethingsnappy possibly because of the rise of social media and 'influencers' (I hate that word) promoting/showing off/getting on their high horse about bf or ff. the few that spring to mind beat on about how they're ebf and post a picture of them with boobs out constantly. On the flip side the ff influencers are generally quite defensive and trot out the 'fed is best' line. Before when we actually spoke to other women, rather than see their lives online yet don't know them personally, women probably spoke about it normally and saw each other's differences

@Justgettingbye. Thank you for your reply. I think you've hit the nail on the head there actually! Apart from Mumsnet and WhatsApp, I don't use social media at all, so didn't consider it. But what you've written makes perfect sense.

Well done OP, I'm very envious of you. I couldn't BF my 2 due to them being small/big boobies or both despite all my best efforts.

[quote trufflepuff22]**@ParadiseLaundry I'm not following this thread fully so not involved in this exchange but your comment "a diet of processed food" has really upset me. I struggled to breastfeed from birth, and sought so much help (it was during lockdown so a lot of it was on Zoom and no family around) and ended up giving up completely two months of trying, failing, pumping and basically putting such extreme pressure on myself that I spiralled into depression. So I felt I had no choice but to FF my baby, who is doing just fine. But comments like yours are unbelievably cruel. I suppose it's how you feel so you may as well say it, but be aware you'll be upsetting a lot more people beyond just me. [/quote]
Kindly, it sounds like your projecting. PP was pointing out irony in someone else's comment.

Also, most food we eat is processed. My formerly BF child eats many processed foods (bread, cereal, yoghurt). @ParadiseLaundry did not even say 'processed crap' or 'unhealthy'.

Many FF mothers are just coming here to take offence. Breastmilk is usually the first point of call for feeding encouraged. Nothing wrong with FF and tbh, nobody else cares/judges you for it. 'Unbelievably cruel' is a massive reach.

@babbez did you read my subsequent posts? I'm not sure yours was needed.