Homeschooling after nursery

[Rosz91]

Hi all, I am experiencing a lot of anxiety on homeschooling so thought I would ask for advice on here.
The plan has always been to homeschool, but I’ve been sending my son to nursery just to get him out of the house for a bit of time on a few days. It’s been good for him to socialise with other kids and he enjoys the learning. The problem is I didn’t realise he would enjoy it so much.
We were attending a homeschooling club prior to lockdown and he didn’t gel that well with the kids (maybe because he only saw them for a couple hours once a week), whereas at nursery he’s got a little friendship group going on.
I don’t want to send him to school, I think his education would be better at home, don’t agree with school hours, and I’m sure there will be plenty of other issues that come up because school is entirely different to nursery.
But I’m really nervous now because when he can no longer go to nursery I think he will really miss the friendships and activities he was finding so engaging there.
It’s going to be difficult. Was wondering if anyone has been in the same position?

Why don't you want him to go to school? Is it for his benefit (autism or something that would stop him from coping, doesn't sound like it if he does well at nursery like you said), or yours? If it isn't physically impossible for him to go to school (eg you have agoraphobia and can't take him and there's no other options or you work nights or something), and he would benefit from it, why wouldn't you let him go?

What do you think you could provide at home that’s better than school? As you’ve already pointed out, making friendships is very important - can you ensure he will have a strong friendship group if he only sees other children every once in a while? Do you have the skills, let alone the resources, to teach all the subjects the school can? Homeschooling, if done properly, is hard work.
Why not send him to school with the view that if it doesn’t work out, you could take him out to homeschool.

If he’d rather be in school, it would be really mean to not let him go!

You child has already demonstrated that he benefits from nursery. As do very many other kids. The same can be said of school. What leads you to think that your child specifically will be harmed by getting into a reception class with other 4-5 year olds?

I would feel awful stopping him going to school when he's made friends. My dc love school, it gives them far more than I could, but I do understand everyone's circumstances are different. Can't he go to school and you top up with what ever you want to after school or weekends?

Wow ok...I didn’t realise I would be explaining this.
I don’t agree with the school system. I don’t agree with schooling before 7yo for a start, schools push for reading and writing skills before many children are ready and it leads to a lot of learning issues which stay because schools are not about helping children go beyond their current level, teachers do not have the time or freedom in curriculum to be able to do that, children often stay at the level they are at. I don’t agree with the rigidity of the school system or a one way for all, there is a lot of research that states how the school system is modelling after industrial factories, creating an employee. At home I can give my son the attention he needs at the pace that is right for him. And actually you do not need the amount of hours that equal the school day, most of the school day is wasted on pointless things and the actual time of learning is shockingly little.
I guess I should have made this clear, but I was seeking advice from people who are homeschooling and may have been through this.
Pro schooling stances are not helpful, but thank you for your opinions.

Why not send him to school and see how it goes? You may think he will get a better education at home but would he have a better experience at home? Seems like he is thriving at nursery and you have bo reason to believe that won't continue at school.

Also yes he has made friends at nursery, but that doesn’t mean he would continue on with them at school. I didn’t continue friendships with a single nursery friend at school.
I think I have asked for advice in the wrong place.

Why the wrong place? MN often challenges starting positions.

You say he is enjoying nursery. Reception also follows the same early years curriculum. Therefore it probably makes sense to put him in school for reception and see how things go.

If he’s unhappy, not thriving etc, then pull him out for homeschooling. But as he’s doing better now he is in nursery then it feels like it’s worth a try.

School isn't for every family, but it seems as though your son is thriving at nursery. My sister homeschooled her daughter (whilst I couldn't think of anything worse than homeschooling my 3 )

I would say, if you are positive you want to homeschool, then join lots of Facebook groups, find out about local groups and get a support network of other local home schooling families. If you meet up a couple of times a week then your son will still form friendships, but these may not happen as quickly as school is 6 hours a day so they're bound to develop the relationships more quickly.

My sister has had to really work at making sure my niece gets to socialise regularly with al the same children, and combined with educating her its a full time job, it's hard work but then she has the freedom and they can go where they want when they want.

One thing she didn't think about was holidays. She was happy that home educating meant cheaper holidays as they can go during term time, however that also means there won't be many other children for yours to play with and make holiday friends

You haven’t. You just wanted us all agree on the evils of the school system with you and tell us that nursery friends don’t matter.

He’s made friends. Perhaps they won’t be the same friends as his school ones but he is clearly sociable. At school learning is often a social thing, shared play in EYFS, pair and group work elsewhere. Even without collaboration there is a joy in shared experiences even down to silly things like a teachers joke or a wow in a science experiment. These are part of the fun of life and learning.

At least try reception before you pull him out. It’s a really fun year of playing and learning.

You don't want him to do lots of learning too early but you think most of the school day is wasted on 'pointless' things? Can you elaborate on what those things are, why you think they're pointless- I suspect they are the sort of things that are helping your child enjoy nursery like play, meals, open-ended activities?

I've worked with home-schooled families at times and their rationale for doing so is generally well-formed and cohesive.

I think there are a lot of people who don't necessarily agree with the structure of a school day, or think children start too early in the UK, but still send their children to school because they either need to because of work OR realise it's the best place for them despite the issues.

He doesn't legally have to start until the term after he turns five, would that help?

I think posters aren't completely pro-school in their replies by default, they are just answering the question you posted based in the information you've given. And that's leading to people to come to similar conclusions- was that not the point of you asking what other people think on an open forum?

@EchoLimaYankee what haven’t I done? It doesn’t make a difference to me if you’re convinced or you aren’t.
I’m just seeking advice from those who have/are homeschooling.
There are plenty of socialising opportunities that homeschooled children have. Research shows otherwise to what you’re saying.
I think my anxiety is from him not having the same day to day routine anymore and I’m not sure how he’ll react to that.

There are many things that are wrong with the school system, but ultimately, some children do thrive. It may be that your child is one of them. You need to do what's best for your child, not what's best for you. And that may be by sending him to school, but you won't know until you try.

I can't see what you want anyone to say here. There are benefits to both I suppose. Schools can't replicate home schooling and home schools can't replicate school.

I just had a parents evening this week and all twenty five parents told me that their children are happy to be back at school with their friends.

There is no way a home school can give the children the opportunities that an EYFS classroom brings. Not without a lot of money and a lot of space anyway. There are probably fifteen activities a day the children can choose to engage in.

@8dpwoah

You don't want him to do lots of learning too early but you think most of the school day is wasted on 'pointless' things? Can you elaborate on what those things are, why you think they're pointless- I suspect they are the sort of things that are helping your child enjoy nursery like play, meals, open-ended activities?

I've worked with home-schooled families at times and their rationale for doing so is generally well-formed and cohesive.

I was talking about schooling in general. A lot of time is wasted on behavioural issues, getting the class to settle for example. Even a couple of hours spent on learning everyday is enough and that is what most homeschoolers do.

You’ve said he’s doing better in nursery than he was before. Why do you think homeschooling will be a good fit for him (not structural comments on the school system, your DS).

Does he have siblings? Homeschooling with 4 children around is different to an intense mother-son duo

The 'lost' time in school is often when they learn all the social skills.

But you can definitely build a really strong routine and socialising into your week.

Join the local homeschool networks eg Facebook and you could quickly and easily build up a great weekly timetable of forest walks / science clubs / playgroups etc and they would (I imagine) have the same kids attending them so you'd build friendships that way.

I think you’d get better replies if you ask in a home education group. There are lots on facebook.

I think you will find that if you join home education groups regularly your son will make friends there too. If the groups are shorter and only once a week it will take a bit longer but it will happen.

Why are you unwilling to try school and see how it goes. Reception is very play based so will be similar to what he is doing now. Yes there are things wrong with the eduction system but it also works well for a vast majority of children, your child might be one of them.

@Rosz91

Wow ok...I didn’t realise I would be explaining this. I don’t agree with the school system. I don’t agree with schooling before 7yo for a start, schools push for reading and writing skills before many children are ready and it leads to a lot of learning issues which stay because schools are not about helping children go beyond their current level, teachers do not have the time or freedom in curriculum to be able to do that, children often stay at the level they are at. I don’t agree with the rigidity of the school system or a one way for all, there is a lot of research that states how the school system is modelling after industrial factories, creating an employee. At home I can give my son the attention he needs at the pace that is right for him. And actually you do not need the amount of hours that equal the school day, most of the school day is wasted on pointless things and the actual time of learning is shockingly little. I guess I should have made this clear, but I was seeking advice from people who are homeschooling and may have been through this. Pro schooling stances are not helpful, but thank you for your opinions.

I disagree that it is wasted time. I’m a secondary school teacher who would happily home school if it was right for my children. I have a 5 year old in reception who I have doing learning at home for a huge Chuck of last year. I’m aware learning at home is different. During this time I taught DD to read which is beyond what she would have done in nursery but she wanted to do which I believe is key to home learning The time when they are not formal learning they are playing Lego, role play, junk modelling, arts - - using pastels this week, learning different sports - golf this half term for DD1, exposure to different cultures- learning about Eid from her friends and most importantly learning ‘soft’ and but not measurable social skills and being exposed to idea from outside the home.

School is for 6 out of 24 hours a day, 5 days out of 7 days and 38 out 52 weeks. There is plenty of time for other things. If things changed in the future or if I thought DD2 was better at home then that’s what I would do but you need to parent the child you have.

I’m not a huge fan of the U.K. school system but DD1 is currently thriving and she really struggled in lockdown being away from friends.

Which month was your child born?

@Applesandpears23

I think you’d get better replies if you ask in a home education group. There are lots on facebook.

I think you will find that if you join home education groups regularly your son will make friends there too. If the groups are shorter and only once a week it will take a bit longer but it will happen.

I have done that. But also thought I would try here. The original post is actually the same as I have posted in a homeschooling group, I don’t think I would have posted here if I’d known the general sentiment regarding schooling. From a lot of responses it seems that there isn’t much understanding of homeschooling.

Hey

My children have all gone to school but I know a family whose children were home schooled.

I am not pro or against home schooling. I think as long as you do what's best for your children no one can ever argue.

If this was my decision I would probably defer starting school in reception. See how you get on home schooling for an academic year. See how your son copes with not being in the academic setting, and at home. If you think he's missing too much start him back at school.