Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Homeschooling after nursery

80 replies

Rosz91 · 23/05/2021 07:56

Hi all, I am experiencing a lot of anxiety on homeschooling so thought I would ask for advice on here.
The plan has always been to homeschool, but I’ve been sending my son to nursery just to get him out of the house for a bit of time on a few days. It’s been good for him to socialise with other kids and he enjoys the learning. The problem is I didn’t realise he would enjoy it so much.
We were attending a homeschooling club prior to lockdown and he didn’t gel that well with the kids (maybe because he only saw them for a couple hours once a week), whereas at nursery he’s got a little friendship group going on.
I don’t want to send him to school, I think his education would be better at home, don’t agree with school hours, and I’m sure there will be plenty of other issues that come up because school is entirely different to nursery.
But I’m really nervous now because when he can no longer go to nursery I think he will really miss the friendships and activities he was finding so engaging there.
It’s going to be difficult. Was wondering if anyone has been in the same position?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Rosz91 · 23/05/2021 09:47

For those asking he turned 4 in January.

OP posts:
DarcyLewis · 23/05/2021 09:49

In that case you could just do the part time for the first couple of terms of Reception and see how it goes.

intheenddoesitreallymatter · 23/05/2021 09:53

Why don’t you keep him at nursery and defer his starting age until five so you have more time to think about it?

Would private school be an option?

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

MinesAPintOfTea · 23/05/2021 09:55

One more thing for this winter specifically: schools are likely to be the last child activity to shut and the first to reopen if more lockdown are needed

tentosix · 23/05/2021 10:06

Early years schooling is very like an extension of nursery. They play most of the day. I suggest you try it before you condemn it. You can always homeschool if he appears unhappy. You are basing your decisions on a theory and deciding to follow that theory even though the evidence is he is enjoying friendships and a structured environment. His experience of early homeschooling groups was not positive, but nursery was so it's seems counterintuitive to carry on with your plan. Are you sure your own anxiety issues aren't clouding your judgement?

Rosz91 · 23/05/2021 10:15

@DarcyLewis didn’t know it was possible to send them to reception part time

OP posts:
lilyfire · 23/05/2021 10:17

Yes, I’ve been in a position very similar to yours. My son was at nursery attached to a school and was happy there with good friends. I wanted to home educate him. He said he wanted to go to school but then when he found out he’d have to stay all day rather than just three hours he said that was too long. That made it a bit easier but ultimately it was my decision because you don’t let four year olds make that kind of decision.
We had been to a couple of home Ed groups but he hadn’t made friends like the ones he had at nursery.
I did start home education with him thinking he could go to school later if he wanted to.

He’s now nearly 18 and was home educated until he started his A level courses at 6th form.
He got through his GCSEs even though I’m not qualified in all the subjects he did. He seems to have settled well in 6th form - his teachers say he has. He has lots of friends from home education and now from school - he’s a super sociable person and seems happy. Wants to go to University.
I don’t know if it was the best decision for him as I didn’t have a ‘control’ child that went to school all the time. I do know it’s turned out fine and we had a lot of fun on the way.
Biggest downside was probably that my career suffered - I kept it going but it was tough and of course I suffered financially as didn’t earn much at times.
I like that he made a lot of home educated friends from lots of different backgrounds and areas. We made quite a few friends with whole families and have done holidays etc.
We were lucky in that there were a lot of groups going on where we live and he was often seeing the same children three or four times a week at different groups. I’m not sure how it would have been if there hadn’t been so many groups to go to.
There are also loads of online resources to support especially when you get to GCSE stage.
Hope that helps a bit.

Rosz91 · 23/05/2021 10:18

@tentosix actually I’m basing it on research and the experiences of others. Even times when my son comes back from nursery I’ve seen him looking weary and fizzled out, imagine an entire day.
So you’re saying send him to reception and maybe Year 1 and then pull him out because it’s no longer like an early years setting? :/

OP posts:
DarcyLewis · 23/05/2021 10:20

[quote Rosz91]@DarcyLewis didn’t know it was possible to send them to reception part time[/quote]
He won’t be compulsory school age until the April after his 5th birthday, so although the school might want him to go full time, it’s up to you if you want to negotiate part time with them.

Rosz91 · 23/05/2021 10:21

@lilyfire completely agree. And I think my son will not like the long hours either lol
Thank you for sharing your experience with your son, it’s very encouraging

OP posts:
Rave2thegrave · 23/05/2021 10:34

What about flexi schooling, some schools will agree to part time hours.. part school/homeschool.

scryingeyes · 23/05/2021 10:40

I played with the idea of homeschooling AS DS but I knew it would be too hard for me and unfair on him.
School also gives children life skills and independence from parents. DS went away to Uni and found his people there. He's now working and living away from us and coping brilliantly.
Compare that with a friends' DS that was homeschooled due to bullying and he has zero friends and still lives with his mam at 26.

Disclaimer- this is a very simplistic comparison I know that, but this is my (limited) experience.

Do what's right for your family and if it doesn't work - change it. Simples

Iwantcauliflowercheese · 23/05/2021 11:37

Social skills are so important. I was an only child and went to school, but I still struggled. A family member is homeschooled and an only child. His social skills are non existent. He's nine and tantrums like a toddler still when he gets to play with other children as he can't understand the concept of sharing, for example. You sound very anxious and you know he is a sociable child but. You are making excuses to home educate, but it sounds as if school will really suit him. As for being forced to learn to read etc., I could read fluently before I went to school and my DS was reading from two and a half. He taught himself. Many children are ready to read before statutory school age.

BiBabbles · 23/05/2021 11:38

I've known other home educators that have done this. I had kinda the opposite with my oldest - everyone told me that nursery and similar would help with his language, but he reverted to nonverbal and miserable after a few months and it ended up coming down to the setting and unsupportive staff (the things I overheard as the parent who didn't usually do pickup so some staff didn't recognize me and which child was mine, it was heartbreaking but made everything make sense).

I home educate for primary for some of the reasons you give and for other reasons and then give my children choice when they reach secondary age. It's not that I think I'm "better" than schools nor do I condemn them, but I also don't view either schools or home as a default with the others as the back-up as tends to come up in these types of threads. I think there are pros and cons to all education choices and we have to consider the potential benefit, risks, and responsibility of all of them for our children and family. I think with all of those options comes some nervousness for the parents, probably more than the kids -- I think I was far more nervous when my oldest chose to start at 15 in a KS4 college programme, and my DD1 to mid-year transfer at 12 to secondary school than either of them were. I find they enjoy school far more than I did and many of their peers seem to and I think that's in part because it was their choice that they weighed up with our support. That was a benefit.

Social isolation is a risk in both options, but it's something parents have to more actively manage when taking on home education. There does tend to be more activities for younger children, and as parents we have to build the consistency. For some kids, a weekly club or two with roughly the same children alongside birthdays and similar is enough, for others they need more and that can be hard depending on your area and it can be really hard if bullying starts in one of those groups and there aren't many options around. Pre-COVID, I found it better to mix one or two home ed groups with more typical extra curricular activities like St John Ambulance as the latter tends to have more consistency (as is commonly said in some groups I've been in, gathering home educators is like herding cats, and the older they get the less they're willing to just play with anyone).

I think we also need to cautious about research used on home education - we're a self-selecting group, even more so those willing to be researched compared to school children, and the ideals and platitudes around home education, even by home educators ourselves, often don't match reality. It took me a couple of years of feeling pretty shitty, like I must be doing something wrong, to realize most of the parents talking about how their kids just magically learned to read, write, and do everything without any help because 'they just became interested in it' needed to be taken with a cup or two of salt. Really, I find home educators tend to have more at the extremes of the bell curve, academically, socially, and otherwise, which distorts perceptions.

Trying to cut this babble down, but yes it's normal to be nervous, find consistent social groups, and making consistent learning routines are my top thoughts on this, alongside try not to fall into the trap of defending home education's benefits for you and yours that you miss the risks. That happens a bit more than I think some are willing to talk about in part because we're pushed so often to defend as has been seen in this thread. However we educate, there are responsibilities to keeping an eye on all of those.

Fundays12 · 23/05/2021 11:44

OP have you looked into the actual school teaching programs? In Scotland many schools have moved to complete play based learning for P1 as it's more natural for children to learn that way. It slowly moves to a more sit down type learning as the child gets older. They are nearer 7 before more traditional methods start.

Your son sounds like he is very sociable and thrives on being with other kids so may need school. Could you potentially teach him part time and place him in school the other part of the week?

EducatingArti · 23/05/2021 11:50

There are a few state schools who are moving towards a more play based learning. It might be worth looking to see if there are any near you.
Are you in a position to afford private school as some may have much more of the approach you want and may even support Flexi schooling?

SixDegrees · 23/05/2021 12:06

There’s a Home Ed board on mumsnet, I don’t know how active it is but there may something there worth looking at www.mumsnet.com/Talk/home_ed

As for socialising, I’ve got a friend who’s home educating her DC, there seems to be quite an active home schooling community where she lives, and she’s said that the various home schooling meet-ups, activities etc are starting to open back up again. Although all outside at the minute because of Covid.
And of course the parents have to be a lot more active about creating opportunities for children to socialise when home schooling, as opposed to school where it happens pretty naturally at break times etc.

Rainuntilseptember · 23/05/2021 12:13

You cannot know whether he will thrive at school unless he at least tries it. How do you explain to him that he isn't going along with his friends?

SixDegrees · 23/05/2021 12:32

How do you explain to him that he isn't going along with his friends?

TBF, even if he was going to school, there’s no guarantee that he’d end up in the same school as all his nursery friends.

EssentialHummus · 23/05/2021 12:42

Hey OP, zero home ed experience so I'm not sure how helpful my comment will be but I'd say 1) look at how many of the groups you're considering are open again post-covid. Broader children's activity sessions aren't all back up and running, and what is there is sometimes very different. 2) How fixed are you on location? If you don't like the look of your nearest school/s, how far are you from a school with a more liberal ethos? There's one near me, and it's not a rarity in s London, where they don't have a uniform and it's all very outdoor and activity-based - the whole school got together to put on an opera a few years back. It sends me running for the hills frankly, but lots of people like it.

RampantIvy · 23/05/2021 12:51

I think you have to do what is best for your child. In some cases school is the best option (it was for only child DD), and in some cases home educating is the best option.

Some of the downsides of home education that haven't been covered here is that you need to have the financial resources to do so - various learning social activities with other home educated families will have a cost, the loss of earning potential for yourself, and the loss of "me time" for you, or time required for doctor/dentist appointments etc if you don't have suitable childcare options. If you continue with home learning until 18 you need to take into account the cost of entering your child for GCSEs and A levels or equivalent, and the cost of being assessed for science practical work if that is the route he wants to follow.

You need to have an open mind, and I get the impression that you have already decided that school is not an option without actually looking into it thoroughly.

As for being tired after nursey - he is still only three, so of course he will be tired.

NuffSaidSam · 23/05/2021 13:14

OP make contact with the parents of his nursery friends now and try and build some relationships so he can continue with these friendships when they leave nursery. This is a good thing to do regardless of school choices, but particularly if you are going to homeschool (even more at the moment when socialisation may be more limited than normal). Homeschooled children can have great social lives, but you do need to make much more effort than you would of they were at school.

You can also consider a childminder as a way of giving him a change of scenery and access to other children once he's too old for nursery.

Rosz91 · 23/05/2021 13:25

@EssentialHummus

Hey OP, zero home ed experience so I'm not sure how helpful my comment will be but I'd say 1) look at how many of the groups you're considering are open again post-covid. Broader children's activity sessions aren't all back up and running, and what is there is sometimes very different. 2) How fixed are you on location? If you don't like the look of your nearest school/s, how far are you from a school with a more liberal ethos? There's one near me, and it's not a rarity in s London, where they don't have a uniform and it's all very outdoor and activity-based - the whole school got together to put on an opera a few years back. It sends me running for the hills frankly, but lots of people like it.
Thanks for your message. It’s definitely the case that I’m not keen on the schools nearby. Would love to send him to a forest school for example, the nearest one is in the next city, but I haven’t crossed it out. Need to look into other types of schools nearby. The one you described sounds good!
OP posts:
Aroundtheworldin80moves · 23/05/2021 13:35

What ever decision you make, it's not irreversible. You can deregister a child from school to home educate. You can apply for a school place for a home educated child (although if you are want a certain school you may need to wait a bit).

The past year has shown me how much MY children need school. They learn better around other people. Sort of surprised me, as I thought elder DD would prefer home education... The 1-1 help did benefit her, plus the slower pace. But turns out she likes having her little group of friends around her.

In my completely unknowledgeable position about home education... If the parents are willing and able to put in the effort to find educational opportunities and social opportunities there will be lots of benefit and few downsides. For reclusive, unsure parents, it's not the best option.

Good luck.

Soontobe60 · 23/05/2021 13:47

An average day at my school in reception is as follows:
9am: start of day - free play whilst adults listen to children read 1:1 approx 5 mins per child
9.30: group phonics sessions - interactive, fun play-based learning
10 - 12 - free flow play inside / outside with a minimum of 5 theme based activities available linked to literacy, numeracy, knowledge and understanding of the world, science, physical development
During free flow children work with the teacher in small groups on targeted activities linked to literacy and numeracy.
10.30 - snack. Incorporates turn taking, healthy eating, building relationships.
Also during the morning there are targeted 1:1 sessions for children who may need additional speech and language, maths, fine / gross motor skills etc.
12 - 1 lunch.
The afternoon follows a similar timetable to the morning, and staff ensure all children have accessed the guided learning tasks they have planned.

This is repeated every day, with further opportunities for specialist music provision, drama provision and sports provision all via specialist teachers bought in by the school. All our Reception children are given the opportunity to play an instrument.

Swipe left for the next trending thread