Homeschooling after nursery

[Rosz91]

Hi all, I am experiencing a lot of anxiety on homeschooling so thought I would ask for advice on here.
The plan has always been to homeschool, but I’ve been sending my son to nursery just to get him out of the house for a bit of time on a few days. It’s been good for him to socialise with other kids and he enjoys the learning. The problem is I didn’t realise he would enjoy it so much.
We were attending a homeschooling club prior to lockdown and he didn’t gel that well with the kids (maybe because he only saw them for a couple hours once a week), whereas at nursery he’s got a little friendship group going on.
I don’t want to send him to school, I think his education would be better at home, don’t agree with school hours, and I’m sure there will be plenty of other issues that come up because school is entirely different to nursery.
But I’m really nervous now because when he can no longer go to nursery I think he will really miss the friendships and activities he was finding so engaging there.
It’s going to be difficult. Was wondering if anyone has been in the same position?

I think my anxiety is from him not having the same day to day routine anymore and I’m not sure how he’ll react to that.
I think he will just think it's 'finished' like other activities such as tumble tots. We've done that now we are doing this. I don't mean lie to him. Tell him he's been to nursery with Harry and Amir and now he's going to do..........

As long as you are providing lots for him to do as well as these 'plenty of other socialising opportunities' you speak of I think he will take it in his stride.

@Fitforforty yes I agree with what you’re saying, I don’t understand what point you’re disagreeing with?
I think the school day is too long.
I’m not against activities that are not formal learning. I very much support such activities. I think homeschooling allows for a lot of flexibility and freedom to engage in other forms of learning.

I think you will be fine. Find more groups where he can make friends. Homeschooling groups are just a small part of it. What about other activities like Beavers, swimming lessons etc. All opportunities to make friends.

@Justwingingit2005 thank you, I think this is a good idea. I will see how things go.
There were quite a lot of homeschooling clubs and activities open prior to Covid but he was too young to join then.
I’m just hoping those things start up soon so that he can fit right into those things. Think that is also contributing to my anxiety - there’s not a lot going on right now where I am.

I think homeschooling can work but only when it is what is best for the child. And you can't know what's best until you try. Have you been to look around local schools? What specific experience do you have of primary school in the last 5years? As a primary teacher, school is about a lot more than learning to read. In reception children would typically do less than 40 minutes of 'formal learning' split into two 20minute sessions. The rest of the day is basically play/craft/outdoor/painting etc.
I would try school and see if it fits for your son. It might not be fit for everyone but it might be right for him.
What does your sons dad think?

@Ohdoleavemealone thank you

We homeschooled for a while when the kids were young.

We joined a lot of clubs - beavers, a bushcraft club (like a forest school but on weekends), an art group, music group. They had a ball

My friends child went through reception and realised the rigid start and finish times didn’t suit their family. After reception they took them out to homeschool them.
I agree with all your comments around school. My children go to school but I’m not entirely happy with some of the things they do but on the other hand some things are good. My eldest is a great reader and the band he is on does not match his ability whereas my youngest is finding reading tricky and I feel like I’ve always got to push him to read so he doesn’t “fall behind”.
It’s a really hard decision.
You could always enroll him let him go to reception and see how you both get on? I would look into which school could offer him the most as some schools have forest schools attached to them plus there’s also Steiner schools.
Depending on his birth month you could delay his start. Also if he starts reception at 4 you can take him out as much as you want before he turns 5 (they say will it will disrupt the class but it’s your choice before they turn 5).
My husband is in higher education and has seen a mix bag of home schooled children however he’s told me recently that one child he currently has is amazing and very clever. This child only has a couple of gcses but got into college - it’s definitely food for thought. Whatever you decide will be right and if you want to change your mind you can.

Your son seems to enjoy the socialising at school, very free of us keep those friends, as you said, however, it's the skill which is important.
Personally, through my job i have met many homeschooling families. sadly most have chosen this option as the parents had bad school experiences. Often these homeschool children are bored, lonely, i stimulated and feral.

The children lack the ability to confirm and
take part...

I think @whattodo2019 makes a good point (I did homeschool for a while out of necessity but it wasn't for me or out of choice).
On the other hand if you live in a good area for it, the socialising options can be many and varied. You must do this. For me the most important part of school is it's interactions with others, those you like and importantly dealing with those you don't.

My sister home taught her children for the duration of school. They went to university and did very well. Their social skills on the other hand are abysmal. Truly. They have no concept of how to handle people that they don't take to or who disagree with them. And that's on my sister. It's a big shame as they will really struggle.

When is his birthday?

@Rosz91 I meant you haven’t come to the wrong place. You just didn’t like the disagreement.

Part of the joy of homeschooling is that ability to follow your child’s interests, style and pace. To go with what your child is showing you. It might be good to look at what your child is showing you.

I’m not familiar with homeschooling and the social side, so I’m not going to argue hard. However, don’t think the groups can replicate that chance to get on with lots of people and make your own connections in your own right like school does.

Your reasons for homeschooling seems to start with I, but he enjoys nursery. Why not let him start school, and see if he likes it? Many children do like school! You could always homeschool later if problems arise.

@Rosz91

Also yes he has made friends at nursery, but that doesn’t mean he would continue on with them at school. I didn’t continue friendships with a single nursery friend at school. I think I have asked for advice in the wrong place.

I think you don't like the responses so think you've asked in the wrong place.

Here's my tuppence worth

1.Are fou fully qualified in Al subject to teach your child everything he will need to get him through exams at a later life.

1. Structure as routine is important for everyone, setting your own hours won't help your child at all. When your child gets to working age he or she will have to work set hours. Schools prepare children for working life practices
2. I disagree about teaching children before 7. My daughter was reading, writing and counting before she stared school. Her best friend is someone she went to nursery with. She is now 22, they are solid friends, and more importantly the structure of the day has helped her adjust to working life

@Rosz91
Just like every homeschooling expertise different, so is every school and every school child.
You seem to have decided all school experiences are negative in the long run when for many they are not, you also seem to think that the learning experience starts and ends with the school day for school kids but not for home learners.
I would say that you have fallen for the same bias as you accuse pro school posters of.
Both experiences can be positive for the right child and right circumstances just as they can be negative.
Your decision should be based on your child's experience and situation and perhaps that is not what you had originally envisioned.
A good child's education will not be based on a single source.
School based learning can be enriched by the home environment and home learning can fail a child by not fulfilling all the requirements for a well rounded individual and they can both be the the polar opposite.
The biggest gift you can give your child is to be interested and involved in their education (that doesn't necessarily mean formal homeschooling) and that's closely followed by opportunity of experience.
Perhaps your child is suited to a more sociable learning experience and it would do no harm to try it initially and see how they get on.
I'm somewhat biased as my kids thrive in school (reception aged and secondary aged but very different kids) and we are supportive parents that give them a breadth and depth to the educational experience outside of school. My niece is homeschooled and I would say some aspects of her experience are positive I would say they are also limited. She also lacks a breadth of experience in the fact that she's heavily influenced by her parents and their singular view on life. The groups they attend are very like minded and tend to reinforce those views.
I'm not saying our kids aren't influenced by us but it's diluted by their regular interactions with other people at school which provoke interesting conversations and provide a breadth that wouldn't necessarily be there if it was completely controlled by me.
I'm sure all our kids will turn out fine because they have parents that care which is the main thing.

I absolutely agree with you re pushing reading and writing before 7. If the child wants to a seems really able etc that's great but in my experience as a teacher and a parent 3/4 is insanely early to Stratton formal reading and writing. Nine of my dcs were even close to it until 7. Also a big bugbear for me is the lack of physical exercise, my dcs are all very fit and energetic and find that school just doesn't do nearly enough of this and they are expected to sit for a very long time from ages 4 etc.
However for the sociable side it is great, not so much from 3/4 but as they get older and if your son is happy then in nursery thats a great sign. Also does he have siblings?

*and seems
*to start
Apologies for typos, one eye on a little person here!

[quote Rosz91]@Fitforforty yes I agree with what you’re saying, I don’t understand what point you’re disagreeing with?
I think the school day is too long.
I’m not against activities that are not formal learning. I very much support such activities. I think homeschooling allows for a lot of flexibility and freedom to engage in other forms of learning.[/quote]
I’m saying that school makes up a tiny portion of a child’s year, only 13%.

I asked which month he was born in because if he is summer born then you can defer entry by a year while you consider your decision if you wanted more time to think about it plus he he would be older when starting school.

Like I said my daughter started reading at 4 because she asked me to teach her. She was desperate to be able to read.

My oldest went briefly to nursery so not exactly the same. He's an incredibly social boy so did have a little wobble at school application time but I think groups, clubs etc will be a much better social environment for him. We've already started arranging meet-ups in the park with other parents who are about to embark on homeschool and finding local groups has boosted my confidence that he'll have plenty of interaction with others.
While it's your decision at this age have you talked it through with him?
Mine is very excited for home Ed over school. We spend a lot of the day outdoors and at school that's probably limited to a couple of hours a day which would be horrible for him. We're open to him trying school later if he wants to but at the moment I'm confident that home Ed is the better option.

You have said he is thriving more than you expected in nursery. Why do you not want to try reception, where learning is similarly structured? If he stops thriving, then you change things.

MN will ask parents of children who struggle in school if they can/want to homeschool. But when you say that when they go into formal schooling they do better, MN are going to say keep them there then.

Hi @Rosz91 I have to confess that I’m not familiar with homeschooling so apologies if these suggestions are unhelpful to what you’d like to achieve for your DS. I’ve read about Waldorf/Steiner schools which seem to be an antidote to the formal schooling you disagree with and are more focused on play and holistic development of the individual. There are also other progressive schools which may cater to your aims, a local example where we live is St Christopher’s in Letchworth which has a very interesting approach if you’d like to google it. That’d maybe be a hybrid solution? However I appreciate these places can be prohibitively expensive and if you were planning to homeschool then presumably you’re not working.

Personally I remember primary school as the happiest and most care free time of my life. Although the school I went to was like a little family, never set homework and we just seemed to spend most of our time playing and laughing which I think would be difficult to find in today’s results driven world. I can totally see why you’d feel disillusioned with modern schooling and I think with appropriate activities you could definitely keep your child adequately socialised. In your shoes I’d be inclined to have a rigorous schedule of evening and weekend activities e.g. Monday night Scouts, Tuesday night basketball, Wednesday night gymnastics etc. Now things are opening up again, you can also keep those nursery friendships going with regular play dates if you are in contact with the parents (which may involve more effort on your part to keep up).

I actually don’t think your child is necessarily missing out on much before 7 by doing their socialising outside of the school setting. One thing I’d be really keen to know though is how homeschoolers address the sort of shared experience that most of the population has of schooling? The common thread of experiences that the majority have gone through that homeschoolers maybe can’t relate to. As I write that it doesn’t actually sound as important as it did in my head lol but that’s a genuine rather than cynical question, I’m very interested to know more about it all (appreciate that wasn’t the reason you posted this thread!)

Although I'm broadly in agreement with a lot of what you say about the school system, my children are thriving there socially (not particularly shining academically but I don't think that matters in the early years; they're having a nice time and growing in confidence). Your criticisms are very broad and abstract, and I wonder how much you actually know about what goes on inside an early years classroom or how many brilliant teachers there are. I have several friends who have homeschooled their children because of their own principles, rather than because school wasn't right for their individual children, and frankly their kids are bored and lonely.

I know someone with a reception child they were going to homeschool. For now they have sent her to school.
She clearly learns a lot at home, is way above her peers academically and her conversations as a 5 year old are amazing! Very bright child, given a lot for learning at home.
BUT socially this child struggles because she is used to 1:1 adult attention, tantrums if she can’t do something (after all she’s used to being very clever) and can talk in a superior way. The other children are great levellers and, probably for the first time, she has to work hard at something, that is figuring out how to navigate friendships and getting on with people who you wouldn’t normally socialise with.

I always wonder when home school parents say their child gets to socialise at home school groups, how effective this is as surely they’re all similar in the way they’ve got parents who are actively teaching them, wanting them to learn in the same way. Very different to meeting children from
More challenging households.

I personally don’t homeschool but you’ve got to do what you thinks right for your child. Is his father involved at all?

Just reading the responses. I thought my question would get lost among other questions on this site so am quite amazed by the interaction!

My responses start with I because I’m trying to explain on here. My son loves when we engage in activities, he really thrives off one to one attention. It was just this past academic year that I backed off a bit on our home activities because I found him well engaged at nursery for the 3 hours he goes (4 days a week). Prior to that we were doing home science experiments for example which he loves and does in nursery too sometimes. When he’s no longer at nursery I’m planning to begin those activities again. He loves reading, he loves making things, we’ve done many craft projects. Reading and numeracy have been good and something we’ve engaged in for short bursts as according to what I’ve seen of his attention span. The nursery have also been good with this although I’ve found recently that with the older kids they have been focusing A LOT on writing skills, meeting targets, gathering evidence to meet government guidelines - it doesn’t feel right for an early years setting to have so much pressure for these things.
He doesn’t go to nursery full time. Like I said it’s been good as a change of setting and a place for him to play.

As for those asking if I’m qualified to teach my children. I’m degree educated, did academically very well in school, helped my husband through his teaching qualification too and also gained a great deal of insight when exposed to all of the academic research on his course. But if you look into homeschooling, there are actually plenty of resources designed to help parents teach their children. Many parents send their kids to school for those hours and then have their kids tutored on top of that, with homeschooling there’s always the option to outsource whatever you don’t feel confident with.

Thank you to all of those who have offered advice on trialling reception, deferring for a year to trial homeschooling etc. I am considering all of this, and as said previously am hoping the clubs and activities begin to get going where I am.
All in all, I think I’m nervous about the switch from nursery to homeschooling and just want to see how that goes.