Is being a mum really bad as many make out?

[nervousscaredxxxx]

Please forgive the name it’s just how I feel right now! And if I’ve put this on the wrong topic I’m sorry I thought this was most appropriate?

I’m quite early pregnant and suffering with morning sickness and tiredness - normal symptoms in a pregnancy. I hate not feeling healthy or ‘normal’ so this has really knocked me down. During this time I’ve had so many thoughts like how can I be a mother if I can’t handle some vomiting and tiredness? Especially the tiredness

I don’t have any excitement right now. My partner is excited and excited to tell family but for some reason I just feel reluctant to. I’m scared and I’m nervous and don’t know if I’ll be a good mum. I’m scared I’m putting this child at a disadvantage by having me as a mother

It also doesn’t help that at the minute all I seem to be finding is posts and articles saying how hard it is to be a mother and how draining and bad it is!

I’m in such a difficult place I don’t know if it’s hormones but I just feel so low about this. I’m quite young too (early 20s under 25) and I just keep having thoughts like I’ll be young with my freedom pretty much gone!

I’ve tried to speak to DP without it sounding like i want to book a termination but he does get that vibe. I don’t know I just guess I want to hear it’s not bad and it’s actually good to be a mum

@nervousscaredxxxx look at my username! I felt so similar to you and I'm at the opposite end of the scale age wise (older but definitely not wiser).

Just to reassure you, when I gave birth, the anxieties stopped. If you are an anxious person anyway, pregnancy really plays on those worries as there are so many unknowns to lie in bed andworry about.

I can remember reading that the fact you are already worrying about things like 'what if I won't love the baby etc' that actually shows you will be ok as you wouldn't worry if you didn't care. Without realising it you are already trying to make sure your baby will be loved and protected - even if it doesn't feel like it.

I honestly couldn't be happier than I am since becoming a mum. And that's something I never would have conceived when pregnant. It's brilliant and it's hard to describe why. I think that might be why you are struggling to understand what it's like, but that doesn't mean you won't feel content when the time comes.

I’d rather stick a fork in my eye than have a newborn. I’m not a baby person at all. But from around 4 onwards they are brilliant.
Luckily the baby stage is over in a fast fog and the interesting bit lasts much longer.
I love being a mum now.

Remember that your partner isn’t going through what you’re going through. I know mine would not have been so excited if he had been so do t be thinking that he’ll be a better parent because he seems more keen now.
We managed fine with no parental support - they live miles away. At times you dig deep - like when they have a stomach bug and pass it to you. Or have colic for weeks. But you get through the first few weeks and it gets better. I had wanted mine for so long and I loved it despite the hard bits.

It’s totally normal to worry and a sign you’ll be a good mum I think by the fact that you’re thinking about all this now! Morning sickness is horrible...you feel permanently hungover and can’t be arsed with anything. The first few months of having a baby are knackering but despite being tired you don’t feel like you do with morning sickness..you run on adrenaline really.

Also at the moment you’ve got all the rubbish physical symptoms but none of the reward (the baby!)...it’s a lot easier to get through the sleep deprivation when you’ve got a little face looking up at you. It is hard though but it’s also incredible and it changes all the time..so even if you hate one bit, the next couple of months will be different.

For example, I found age 5/6 months old for the baby to be quite hard and to be honest boring! They’re just old enough to need and want a bit more stimulation but they can’t really sit up properly yet, they’re not eating, they can’t really play with things so I found I really didn’t know what to do with her haha. But a couple months after that she was so much fun and so interactive.