7yo Son won’t go after the ball or tackle at football

[Folicky]

7yo son is in a football training session with 3 other children from his class. But even when he was the closest person to the ball, he doesn’t go for it. We waits for someone else (from either team) to come and get the ball and then chases after then. He’s exhausted at the end and his little school friends are becoming more distant. He does this with other contact sports. Although fights very robustly with older male cousins, etc

One thing he says is he’s worried that he’ll miss the ball, but I’m not totally buying that. We live near a football pitch and went there during lockdown and he’d rather be in goal having me shoot goals at him than the other way around. What it looks like is: he’s afraid another player will be angry with him if he gets the ball and they want it , so avoids going for the ball... takes himself out of all of this by going into goal.

I’m worried this will affect his friendships and his self esteem.

Anyone else have a son like this? What type of things helped? How did it turn out?

My son never expressed any interest in football. He's fine. He's 15. He likes running though.

I would stop putting him through the torture of a sport he's not enthusiastic about.

If you're worried about his self-esteem, ask him if he'd like to stop doing football and think about what else he might prefer.

Nothing will improve his self-esteem more than seeing him for who he is.

Maybe football isn't for him. Try a different sport

If you are free on Sunday mornings at 9am seek out your nearest junior parkrun. A good way to build confidence.

Boys don't have to like football just because they're boys.
It sounds like football isn't for him and that he's under pressure to do it.
Im wondering if you're a parent at our school as my son does football training after school and there's a boy on the pitch with no confidence and clearly doesn't want to be there, his Dad is on the sidelines screaming instructions and demands at him. Its embarrassing and sad, the poor boy is under so much pressure when it's obvious that football isn't something he enjoys.
I'd give up the football for your son and try something else if he wants to.

Agree that maybe football isn't for him. My son (almost 9) just hasn't taken to it despite his Dad being a very strong footballer as a youth! Bit frustrated when we realised this, but hey-ho! Agree it would be best he finds something else he enjoys for his self esteem (as previous poster mentioned). Maybe give it a little longer at football if you just want to be sure, but be prepared to call it a day too.

My brother and DH used to run away from the ball during PE. Neither are much into sport as adults - but Don’t mind doing stuff like archery, social tennis, badminton. I’ve known people who were non sporty at school get really into niche sports at uni - because they found something they like.

Sounds like he doesn't like football. The Parkrun idea up thread is a great one. Otherwise, leave him be to develop his own interests.

Why don't you try something like karate or tae kwon do instead @Folicky he clearly doesn't enjoy sports that involve balls.

Gymnastics is great too as no contact and there aren’t that many boys do it so might get more attention and build his confidence

DS doesn’t like football, but shows off scooter tricks at the park with his friends. Let him find his own interests rather than be pressured into doing football

Try cricket instead! Lovely, social sport, brilliant for kids who don't like contact sport - loads of clubs around. And what mine does is to know all about football so he can join in all the chat at school (this isn't faked, he genuinely loves following it), but without really playing it.

Neither of my boys were into football at that age, but that completely changed age 9 or so. They now play every weekend, rain or shine.

Why not let him be the goalie if that's what he prefers?

Why is he playing football - did he ask to join the team?
Could he play in goal if that’s his preferred position?
What other activities might he prefer to make sure he keeps fit? There’s so much choice that might not be so competitive or involve contact.

Complete non issue wouldn’t give it another thought

My eldest is 9 and has no interest in playing sport but likes to go to football and rugby matches.

My son is a teenager now and hasn't ever been to a football training session. From the way you talk about it, it sounds like you think it's an essential? It really isn't.
Let him find his own interests, there are so many other things he could be doing - rugby, swimming, running, hockey, cricket, gymnastics, dancing, judo, karate etc.

Sounds as if he'd be better in the goal.

I don’t think it’s because he has issues with relationships or his self esteem. I think he just doesn’t like football much. I agree park run is a great idea if he likes running. Have a chat with him about whether there are other sports he would like to try.

If he’s not that keen on football why does he go? Maybe he’d prefer a non-contact sport or a non-team sport?

I'd be putting him in for another sport. Curious to know why you put him in for football, did he ask or did you offer? Plenty of other non contact sports out there.

I'm also going to sound like an absolute arsehole saying this, but when he tells you a reason for something, listen to his reasons and understand them. Rather than assuming you know better.

3 boys here and none are into to football much. My eldest has no interest in team sports)he likes running), my younger two enjoy a different sport. Why is he doing football if he doesn’t seem to enjoy it?

Football clearly isn't for him. Why force it?

He obviously has no interest and doesn’t want to play football. Stop it and try something else.

I have a 7 year old son who is the same, he loves playing football one on one but he doesn’t like the boisterous part of tackling so doesn’t like playing matches. We don’t take him to football, we just take a ball to the park. His Dad didn’t enjoy playing football until high school. He does kick boxing which is great for confidence and discipline. Plenty more sports for boys to do other than football!