I’m really struggling right now. I have a 2 and a half year old boy and have ALWAYS wanted to be a mum but right now and for a while I’m finding it really hard to understand what is enjoyable about being a parent.
What enjoyable about being someone’s bitch/slave 24/7?
What’s enjoyable about losing your identity?
What enjoyable about not having a full nights sleep for 2 and a half years?(he’s never slept through and I’m the only one that can put him to bed and deal with his wake ups)
What’s enjoyable about being so exhausted you can barely function most days?
What’s enjoyable about having your clothes pulled, used a climbing frame, hurt (by accident) but who likes spending each day being pinched, scratched, punched, trodden on etc.
Being sucked on all day (he’s still breastfeed)
For the last few weeks I seem to be thinking about dying quiet a lot just to get some much needed rest and be able to shut off for a while. This is not what I expected parenting to be like. I love him more than anything ever and he’s taught me so much about myself in so many ways, the only thing that seems to keep me going at the moment is the fact I’m all about gentle parenting and if I wasn’t here, he wouldn’t get brought up like that and also the trauma it would cause him if he didn’t have me here. I seem to have one good day a week maybe, the rest are a total struggle. The only joyful thing I can think of, is that he makes me laugh. Apart from that can someone give my head a wobble and point out what is enjoyable about this malarkey.