How do you get an 8yo to have a shower?

[MinesAPintOfTea]

Just that. We’re fine with behaving “well” most of the time but bedtime is always a nightmare. Won’t get in the shower (or bath) just wants to roll around/hug people instead.

Has anyone got past this? We’ve just spent 30 minutes on me talking him into having a shower. Again.

Dh swears by starting to count. DS always starts moving before he gets to 3... no idea what happens if he doesn't though

@Duckyneedsaclean

Dh swears by starting to count. DS always starts moving before he gets to 3... no idea what happens if he doesn't though

Tried that. Works like magic, except at bedtime when he laughs maniacally at me.

I’d guess overtired, but he won’t go to sleep for at least an hour after being put to bed.

It’s routine. Every other night.
So he knows Sunday, Tuesday, Thursday, he has to have a shower.
I tell him in the morning, then after school, tell him the time he is having his shower and that’s it.
Warnings, plenty of notice, no arguments.

Move bathtime?

I mean at 8 there is understanding of the rules.

Have a shower in the morning, when he gets home from school, after tea just find what works best.

Could he shower, or just wash, in the morning?

This was becoming the case with my 3 year old. She wouldn't listen, it was taking ages to get her into the bathroom, lots of screaming etc at my DH. So we switched it around; she now has a shower before dinner, at 5pm. The problem was tiredness and overtiredness when we did it after dinner. It used to be fine until she dropped her nap. Shower before dinner works a treat now!

Consequences
Not engaging with the unwanted behaviour

Start the process earlier

Fuck that shit. They do as they're told.

I say 'oi, smelly little rat, get thee in that shower right now or WiFi goes off'. Job done for all 3 kids.

Armpit sniff test, then free to chill out for a bit. Simple.

Start at 5pm.befire dinner. Then after dinner is chill out time.

@NotYourHolidayDick

Fuck that shit. They do as they're told.

I say 'oi, smelly little rat, get thee in that shower right now or WiFi goes off'. Job done for all 3 kids.

Armpit sniff test, then free to chill out for a bit. Simple.

Me too. Comedy pretending to die.

Then counting.

But in your case I'd move bathtime.

I have the opposite, he's in there now, has been since 8.05p.m. I can't get him out (9yo)

Not being funny, but physically pick up and put in shower? Then Drill Sergeant - soap, soap, soap?

ask nicely, then if no move towards shower, grab hand, frog march to bathroom turn on shower.
Tell 8 yr old you will have a shower or no phone/tv/games console for a week...job done.
Sod the cajoling for an hour who has time for that!

My parents put my nephew in a bath semi dressed once. He never argued about having a bath again

Consequences
Not engaging with the unwanted behaviour

Yup. You're the boss, not him. Proper hygiene isn't up for debate.

When I threw a tantrum about having a bath or shower when I was a kid (usually because I knew it was then bedtime and I never wanted to go to bed) my dad used to say you have 2 choices. 1. Go get in the bath/shower. 2. Go in the garden and I’ll hose you down.

I never pushed far enough to know if it was an empty threat.

Unless he's rolling around in mud all day he doesn't need a shower every night. As a pp has said have certain shower/bath days - Tuesday and Friday for ex - so he knows they are the days he has to have one. Then on those days remind him in the afternoon that he's to have a shower later. Once dinner is over it's shower time.

I'm wondering if he needs to let off steam and then have some good connection with you before bed. Mine do this, pissing about at bedtime especially when they seem to need attention.
A good run around in a park or long walk home or a roughhousing game followed by 15 mins special time where you give him lots of attention might help, with a clear expectation of what you want him to do at bedtime.
I sympathise though, it's the time I have the least patience!

@Scotinoz

Not being funny, but physically pick up and put in shower? Then Drill Sergeant - soap, soap, soap?

Can’t. He’s too heavy now (up to my shoulder)

@Lovelymonkeyninetynine

I'm wondering if he needs to let off steam and then have some good connection with you before bed. Mine do this, pissing about at bedtime especially when they seem to need attention. A good run around in a park or long walk home or a roughhousing game followed by 15 mins special time where you give him lots of attention might help, with a clear expectation of what you want him to do at bedtime. I sympathise though, it's the time I have the least patience!

He goes off to his room and won’t engage in anything with me until I’m trying to get him into the shower! It’s very trying...

@Notaroadrunner

Unless he's rolling around in mud all day he doesn't need a shower every night. As a pp has said have certain shower/bath days - Tuesday and Friday for ex - so he knows they are the days he has to have one. Then on those days remind him in the afternoon that he's to have a shower later. Once dinner is over it's shower time.

Errr... tonight he has mud splattered right up his legs. Again. We take him to the park every day we can and right now that’s a mudbath.

Right after dinner might be the answer though.

I have a white board on the fridge with all the tasks DD has to accomplish in a day. She ticks them off.

@theMoJareajoke

Consequences Not engaging with the unwanted behaviour

Start the process earlier

Consequences just cause either screaming or laughing. Hard to not engage with someone who is clinging to me. I just try to stay even and consistent but it doesn't work