Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

My baby is so difficult during the day

113 replies

swallowinthesky · 05/02/2021 08:07

I would really appreciate some advice. My beautiful baby is seven weeks old and he sleeps pretty well at night. He wakes up to be fed, then have a cuddle so he’s upright, then back in his crib. Every now and then he won’t want to go back in his crib but is content in your arms and I don’t mind this.

But during the day it’s another matter. He is often twitchy and agitated. He won’t just let you cuddle him but fights it, head butting, kicking down with his feet, flinging himself around in my arms. I can’t put him down as he cries.

He will settle in the sling but with the caveat that you’re walking outside which obviously isn’t practical for hours upon end.

Car journeys don’t work, neither does the pram. As I say I wouldn’t mind holding him if he was calm but trying to hold bad soothe him when he’s like that is a nightmare. As a result he gets overtired and increasingly fretful and tearful. It’s really upsetting to see.

Are there any suggestions for him sleeping a bit more in the day? I do worry about him a lot, yesterday he was awake for six hours and only napped for about twenty minutes before that.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
swallowinthesky · 06/02/2021 19:01

Oh god how long? Started today

OP posts:
Oatsamazing · 06/02/2021 19:37

My DD has been a bit like this. I'm a FTM and she's almost 4 months so I'm quite clueless but I've found holding her facing forward stops her crying. She cries anytime anyone holds her facing them for more than a minute or so. I think she just wants to be able to see what's going on. I'm trying to get her into a routine by getting her to sleep after 1.5 hours awake time. I hold her facing forward and and pace up and down indoors with white noise on, just in one room but if she starts to cry I'll walk a bit further and she stops, then I go back to the one room. It can take anywhere between 5-30 minutes to get her to sleep. Sometimes I give in and breastfeed her but I'm trying not to do it in the day as I'm doing shared leave with my partner so want a routine that will work for him too. She used to fall asleep immediately in the sling but she's just started waking up mid walk and screaming her head off, usually when we are at the furthest point from home. It's excruciating when people stare, it sounds like I'm doing something awful to her, only just managed to hold back the tears until I got home the first time It happened. I breastfeed her overnight but she usually resists sleep in the evening, so I have to feed her while standing up and swaying with white noise on. Sorry if you've tried all these things and best of luck, it's so hard. Thanks

swallowinthesky · 06/02/2021 19:39

Thing with a routine is if you take this evening for example. I sat holding him in a dark room with the hairdryer on for an hour and a half. He didn’t sleep.

So - how do I implement this routine? I sound arsey and I’m not, I promise. I genuinely don’t know what to do Sad

OP posts:

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

HenrysHome · 06/02/2021 19:49

@swallowinthesky a good 10 days to 2 weeks. Baby needs to be weighed regularly too as they quickly outgrow the dose and then you have to wait again for the upped dose to take effect again. I have inched my way to nap time, sling outside > sling inside > grobag and pacing > grobag and yoga ball > rocking chair over 8/9 long, hard weeks

Timeturnerplease · 06/02/2021 21:04

I had a lovely angel and nighttime - feed, then straight back down and asleep - but a hideously overtired, screamy gremlin in the day.

We eventually worked out that she was overtired, so focussed on getting her in bed by 6pm. Then we worked on daytime naps. These still remained short and hard-won (a good half an hour of rocking a covered buggy playing loud white noise) and things improved slightly.

She’s always been a crap napper though, half an hour was her absolute maximum and she gave them up entirely by 20 months, but is now able to remain chirpy without daytime sleep.

I think some children just can’t switch off as easily, so day sleep is harder for them.

YukoandHiro · 06/02/2021 22:37

Don't listen to the routine people @swallowinthesky - anyone who suggests it hasn't had a really difficult baby and they don't know what it's like. My first was the same. It's so hard, I'm sorry you're going through it - but I promise you it does get better (eventually). The first year with my first was hell but now she's the most wonderful charismatic three year old. Hang in there, it's worth it.

And the reason I know the routine people don't understand - I have a second now who is SO EASY and has really responded to a routine and sleeps so easily. And I can tell when she's getting a bit overtired and can just put her down with white noise or go for a pram walk and she'soff.

Reflux that causes fussiness usually has a cause. As I said, have a chat to your GP or HV about CMPA. It bottle fed, could you ask for a tin of prescription formula to see if it makes a difference?

YukoandHiro · 06/02/2021 22:40

I see @HenrysHome has said the same thing. Please check it out, cmpa is missed all the time. We had no idea til six months when on solids and we gave her straight cow's milk on porridge for breakfasts and after less than a week her skin was literally peeling off in strips and her eyes were almost swollen shut.

swallowinthesky · 06/02/2021 22:55

Thank you so much yuko, that does mean a lot because I’ve honestly been wondering where I went wrong, even wondering if I’ve upset or frightened him in some way (early days were very difficult with trying and failing to breastfeed.)

In a strange way I hope it is silent reflux. It would mean there was a cause and he could be ‘cured.’

Some days are wonderful. Some days I cuddle him all day and walk in the pram and feel so proud and he smiles at me and we have chats. Other days and I hate to say it but mostly other days he just seems to fight me all day.

I’ve also ordered one of those rocking swings which I hope he might like, he likes movement. Cars and slings ...

OP posts:
5zeds · 07/02/2021 16:19

One of my boys couldn’t latch and I expressed and formula fed. If you both don’t hate it I’d try to stimulate more supply with some bfing after he’s fed. If that would be horrid, then I’d give a bit more formula. My experience is food is the key to sleep.

startfromminus · 07/02/2021 17:28

He can’t breastfeed!

5zeds · 07/02/2021 18:52

@startfromminus ?

YukoandHiro · 08/02/2021 22:54

How has your day been OP?

ochreberry · 08/02/2021 23:08

I think definitely check if you haven't already that there is no physical cause for this being missed.

If not, some babies are just more challenging than others, with all best parenting. It sounds like this could be the case for your baby. Being sensitive to your baby's needs and kind to yourself will go far. Bit of a summary but basically babies with so called 'difficult temperament' with irregular eating, sleeping, irritability etc actually benefit more from positive parenting than babies with easier temperaments- bit of a summary www.goodtherapy.org/blog/study-parenting-style-matters-most-for-difficult-children-1201161

Take care of yourself too, and seek the advice and support of your health visitor

New posts on this thread. Refresh page