Help!! Baby led weaning - tearing my hair out!!

[SailingAwayTodayPlease]

Hi,

I started weaning my Dd at 6 months, 3 weeks ago. At first I fed her purées for a week, but then gradually added finger foods and now trying to do a bit of both at each meal. I'm finding it really frustrating to be honest. The first week she was excited and gobbled down all the purées. Since then she's been really cranky at at table and refuses to be spoon fed anything. I have used a special soon such grabs up purées so she can feed herself, but she doesn't want to and the spoon ends up on the floor. She just throws down most finger foods, or mushes in her hands but nothing goes in her mouth. The only thing she will chew are those Ellas kitchen melts sticks.

I introduced breakfast last week and days 1-3 she loved having porridge with fruit purée but last 4 days she had none of it.

This has coincided with husband doing breakfast duty so I'm not sure if she's different with him or it's just his bad luck. I tried her again today and no luck.

At mealtimes she is now cranky and upset / frustrated.

Help! Is this normal?

Could she be teething?

Do you eat with her - mine were always far more interested at stuff 'stolen' off my plate than stuff I actually put in front of them.

Teeth could be a possibility too.

If you're feeding purées / porridge, it's not baby-led weaning.

If you can buy or borrow a copy of Gill Rapley's book (called 'Baby-Led Weaning) it really is worth reading and will address everything you talk about here.

But essentially, at 6 months you don't need to worry about what she's eating (or not). Just put food in front of her and if she eats it great, if not don't stress. No need to waste food, just offer her whatever you're eating.

Are you giving her food first, then milk later?
You need a bit of a gap between milk and food so she’s actually hungry.

If you're feeding purées / porridge, it's not baby-led weaning.

Stuff like this is ridiculous. No wonder mums feel so much pressure. OP, if you're feeding your child with some purées and some baby led food, that's absolutely fine. There is no need to be totally in one camp or the other.

Please don't worry about how much baby is consuming, it's more about them just getting used to the new idea of food at such a young age

Purées & finger foods is just normal weaning.

“Baby led weaning” is a specific term for people who don’t spoon feed anything, baby only eats what they can pick up and put in their mouth themselves.

@mouldyhouse101

If you're feeding purées / porridge, it's not baby-led weaning.

Stuff like this is ridiculous. No wonder mums feel so much pressure. OP, if you're feeding your child with some purées and some baby led food, that's absolutely fine. There is no need to be totally in one camp or the other.

Please don't worry about how much baby is consuming, it's more about them just getting used to the new idea of food at such a young age

I didn't say it wasn't ok to do this . You can wean your baby however you wish and using whatever method suits you and your family.

The OP specifically mentioned 'baby-led weaning' which is a particular method. Purées and spoon-fed porridge are not part of this method so I was suggesting that if she wanted to follow it, then reading the book would help with support and hopefully ease some of her concerns and frustrations.

Doesn’t sound like baby-led weaning - you literally let them take it or leave it - eat it or let them chuck it all on the floor, it’s up to them! The point is that at that age it doesn’t really matter. If you want to do baby-led weaning you need to let her lead (clue’s in the name 🤷‍♀️).

Honestly does it matter what it’s called??!

@SailingAwayTodayPlease just keep trying her. Could she be too tired? Has she had milk previously? Is there a gap between milk and food? Radio on? Sing songs. Make it enjoyable. Try not to stress about how much gets thrown around

Wow, thanks for all the snarky comments! Stressed out mum trying my best here. I said I was doing a combination of spoon feeding and finger foods on my post. It seems the Mumsnet police didn't like me using the BLW term.

Thanks @Whatelsecouldibecalled good ideas. I do sing a silly food related song which has worked in the past, but not last few days.
It could be teething as well I guess.
I will keep trying!

My daughter barely ate a thing til a year. My friends daughter was on 3 meals a day by 7 months. They’re all different. You really don’t need to worry about her eating or not eating at this point - just offer foods and let her play. If she wants to eat food off a spoon, fine, do that. If she doesn’t want to eat off a spoon, it’s fine. She doesn’t need to be eating loads at this point. Don’t stress.

You can use any term you like, it’s just clearer if you are referring to normal weaning. If you say you’re doing BLW you will get lots of advice on BLW which isn’t what you want.

Re singing, my sister started singing during my nephew’s mealtimes. Now 11 month old prince will only eat if everyone he can see perform for him. I counted 67 choruses of “Wind the bobbin up”.........

She tells everyone he eats really well, but it’s like a sodding pantomime!

You've only just started weaning, 3 weeks is nothing. Not that many babies take to solids immediately, most take a bit of time getting used to them. It might take them a week, a month or half a year. You really need to adjust your expectations, its far too early to get stressed in my opinion. Just keep offering various foods, it really doesn't matter if it's purees or finger foods as long as it's suitable for a baby, and don't expect her to actually eat a proper meal.

I always found the saying ‘food before 1 is just for fun’ helpful. It’s demoralising when you’ve prepared something that doesn’t get anywhere near their mouth, but really she is just learning about the whole thing - what foods feel like in her hands and mouth, that we sit like this for mealtimes, etc. Not judging at all, I’ve felt the stress - but if you’re stressed it suggests you are attached to it going a particular way. Try your best to let go of expectations and follow her lead. Offer her a variety of things and it will just evolve. I agree with pps about what BLW means and sorry you’ve experienced it as snarky - I suppose it’s about advice because my advice to you in doing BLW would be different on doing normal weaning - all are fine. I mainly preferred BLW as I didn’t have to do much!! But didn’t enjoy the early weeks of worry about choking, learning that gagging is normal and not same as choking. Once past that it made life easy.

Surprise surprise. A thread titled baby led weaning has brought lots of people ready to help with blw, politely explaining the difference and helping none the less. Shocking stuff.

Honestly just serve up a wide range of healthy foods,
if they eat it-great,
if they leave it- never mind.
Nothing good can come about stressing and creating an issue about food.
At this stage it's all new, the texture, the smell, the experience never mind the taste.

You've probably had to do lots of stopping things from being squished and squeezed and going in her mouth and now all of a sudden there's all this stuff that's new and she's allowed to mess about with it, she doesn't know it's food.

I would however give melty sticks and other snack type things a wide berth. They really are not needed, stick to whole natural foods rather than processed stuff.

My children are older, but that sounds like my youngest. We bought the Annabel Karmel finger food book. She liked being able to put things in her mouth herself. Some she didn’t like, but the variety made it more fun for her. The fact that we adults also could eat the same thing (they are quite good) also made it easier as she preferred eating with us and mimicking what we did.

I know how hard it can be and if it if your first is is so easy to panic (I did several times with my oldest). Please think about two things.

a) at six months, they really need so little food. It is more about getting used to food and the social side is quite important.

b) babies don’t starve themselves. I know that this is easy to say and I was beyond worried about my first born when my mum told me (I didn’t believe her). We were on a city break away and my oldest was 18 months. It turned out she refused to eat all Italian food for the first 2-3 days, she only had a bit of yoghurt and milk. On day 3 my very picky daughter took a calamari from my plate. Then another one. She also had some pesto pasta and moved onto pizza. She ate what she saw us eating when she was hungry.

I don’t think people are being snarky OP, they’re just clarifying what you’re actually asking about!

I wouldn’t stress too much. She’s brand new to it and doesn’t need food for the calories or nutrition as she’s still getting that from milk. Just keep persevering.

I know it is easier said than done but don't panic; it is such early days! Even if she doesn't actually eat anything, even exploring the food with her fingers is a learning experience and is a part of learning what food is.

Maybe just plop a bit of the puree on the tray and let her get it on her fingers and maybe she might even try some. I know the mess is a shocker but it is so important just to let them explore!

She will get there!!

Always ate at same time as DS, partly because it was often the only chance to do so. Took a month or so but then we knew from nappies that bits were going in.

Ignore the 'that's not BLW folk'. Just try to relax and introduce lots of flavours etc

How long between feeds and next meal? She might not be hungry. For example I breastfeed baby upon waking and wait one hour for breakfast.

What snarky responses?! I think posters are just trying to help when different terminology to what you actually mean has been used.

Agree with the other posters though, she has loads of time to try new foods and get used to stuff. Keep going, I found DD would be frustrated from not being developed enough in her skill but once she got it ate everything well. 6 months is still very little too

OP ignore all the rediculous BLW comments.

I quickly realised what some mums on here were like with BLW when one said her 7mo baby couldn't possibly have yoghurt because 'BLW doesn't include spoon feeding'