Help!! Baby led weaning - tearing my hair out!!

[SailingAwayTodayPlease]

Hi,

I started weaning my Dd at 6 months, 3 weeks ago. At first I fed her purées for a week, but then gradually added finger foods and now trying to do a bit of both at each meal. I'm finding it really frustrating to be honest. The first week she was excited and gobbled down all the purées. Since then she's been really cranky at at table and refuses to be spoon fed anything. I have used a special soon such grabs up purées so she can feed herself, but she doesn't want to and the spoon ends up on the floor. She just throws down most finger foods, or mushes in her hands but nothing goes in her mouth. The only thing she will chew are those Ellas kitchen melts sticks.

I introduced breakfast last week and days 1-3 she loved having porridge with fruit purée but last 4 days she had none of it.

This has coincided with husband doing breakfast duty so I'm not sure if she's different with him or it's just his bad luck. I tried her again today and no luck.

At mealtimes she is now cranky and upset / frustrated.

Help! Is this normal?

@Russell19

OP ignore all the rediculous BLW comments.

I quickly realised what some mums on here were like with BLW when one said her 7mo baby couldn't possibly have yoghurt because 'BLW doesn't include spoon feeding'

Er...

But, to actually answer your question I'd step back for a few weeks and then try again.
I did the same as you, bit of both types of weaning and I stressed like you when he wasn't that interested but they get there in the end.

I don’t think anyone meant to be sarcastic - just confused by the BLW reference as if you were doing BLW there would be no need to stress so much over whether LO wants to eat. It makes a significant difference to how to approach your problem as such. If you’re doing BLW people will say ‘so what? leave her to it’ and put your mind at ease. If you’re not trying BLW then other advice such as how long to wait between meals, thinking about teething etc will be more useful - so the terminology does matter, it’s not pettiness.

I don't think people are being snarky either! The point about BLW is IT IS DIFFERENT from traditional weaning! Nothing wrong with traditional, but it's not the same thing!

I would carry on as you are but try and treat it as a sensory experience rather than worrying about what goes in. Let her play with the finger food. Let her mush and explore the porridge. It's so early and trust me one day it will just "click" and she will start to actually eat.

Another thing I loved about BLW and found makes a huge difference (and still does) is all eating together. Make the same meal (but a reduced salt version for baby) and all eat at the table. If she plays she plays but what better way to learn to eat than to see everyone else? Plus it makes a great habit for family mealtime.

And you can use spoons with baby led weaning! Just preload the spoon and give it to her to use instead of the traditional way, which is feeding it to her on the spoon/straight into her mouth. I guarantee she will miss and it's more messy but again, great habits and good for dexterity.

Don't stress about it- she's only little and breastmilk or formula should still be the main part of her diet.
I would offer her food (whether by spoon or finger- I think you can be baby led with spoon feeding as well...) and if she doesn't want it just follow her lead...there is no rush with food- it's all about exploring it at this age.
My son took ages to get into it properly - he is nearly 2 and usually eats masses now, but sometimes he has days where he just doesn't want much, or if he is teething or feeling ill he only eats a little.

I do a combination of spoon feeding and finger foods, it works really well. I just told myself I wasn’t allowed to get stressed about how much she is eating until she was eight months old, and then by eight months she was eating well! At nine months she was more hit and miss again, and since ten months she’s been a great eater. Honestly it doesn’t matter yet at six months. It’s so up and down, but I promise that in a few weeks’ time it’ll be so different. Just need to grit your teeth between now and then!

I think it's helpful to think of 6-12 months as the age where they need to learn how to eat, so that by the time they're 1 they're actually eating noticeable amounts of food.

Three weeks is very early days, and any interaction with the food is a positive.

I don't think anyone was being snarky btw, just that by putting BLW in your title you've attracted people ready to give advice on BLW, when what you actually need is people who know about traditional weaning. Having a bit of a read about BLW might help though regardless of whether you want to do it or not - lots about how much babies actually need and trusting them to know how much they need etc. You might find it reassuring :)

Also if they're not formula fed it's recommended they have vitamins from 6 months, that also helps me not worry too much if they don't really eat anything!

@Russell19

OP ignore all the rediculous BLW comments.

I quickly realised what some mums on here were like with BLW when one said her 7mo baby couldn't possibly have yoghurt because 'BLW doesn't include spoon feeding'

This 100%!

Not being rude. But it's been three weeks.

Chill out.

The blue is I the name, baby led. Let her tell you what she wants and doesn't want.

Some days she'll do nothing but lick a breadstick,other days you'll wonder where she puts it all.

It will be fine.

My son is now 4 years old but I loved weaning so I don't really understand why it needs to be stressful. I did 100% BLW and as a result I have a kid that will eat amything. Up until 12 months old food is for fun to play and experiment with and to mainly make a mess of your BLW, honestly there's no need to stress. I started off with cut up veg, scrambled egg, pasta and basically anything I was having. He had his first curry at 9 months old. Enjoy the fun and mess.

@Pinkblueberry

I don’t think anyone meant to be sarcastic - just confused by the BLW reference as if you were doing BLW there would be no need to stress so much over whether LO wants to eat. It makes a significant difference to how to approach your problem as such. If you’re doing BLW people will say ‘so what? leave her to it’ and put your mind at ease. If you’re not trying BLW then other advice such as how long to wait between meals, thinking about teething etc will be more useful - so the terminology does matter, it’s not pettiness.

Thank you.

OP I wasn't being sarcastic in my reply at all and am sorry if it came across this way. Neither was I being precious about BLW. It's just that 'proper' BLW is a very specific weaning method and although your title mentioned it, your post suggested that you weren't following this weaning style after all and thus the advice offered would be different.

I read some of the replies as sarcy too OP. That's the issue with forums I guess, but I don't think the shrugging emoji helps?

Plus you said you had a special spoon to help her pick up the puree (I know the ones you mean) so clearly she's using the spoon herself - that's baby led to my mind.

I only started this week. I'm doing single veg which I either puree or mash a bit but also do a few pieces of finger food too. I'm definitely trying to steer more towards finger foods but my little one loves spoons, I just let her have a go with them herself . So today she had some parsnip fingers, parsnip mush and an array of spoons - a couple of the fingers got sucked and gnawed on, one got dunked a few times in the mush, various spoons were coated in mush and sucked or chewed on and she also grabbed some with her fingers and ate a bit that way. Most got thrown though.

You can make potato fingers to dip in too if you want, or mash potato with whatever else rolled into balls and baked a bit to make them firmer.

It's really hard to be relaxed about them eating/ not eating because on the one hand they're getting most of what they need from milk but on the other they really do need some food intake for things like iron which they won't get from breastmilk, and is in formula but in a hard to absorb form. Mine is doing ok so far and quite liking it but if she decided to just stop next week I know I would stress about it too! But from what I gather it's very normal and she'll probably totally change her mind again next week

I did 100% BLW and as a result I have a kid that will eat amything.

I love comments like this.

You just don't have a fussy eater. It's nothing to do with BLW.

I only did purée. Also have a son who will eat everything. It's nothing to do with purées, he just enjoys food

She doesn't actually need food anyway - good before one is just for fun, so don't stress over it. She's just experimenting and having fun with it at this age. As long as she's keeping her milk intake it's absolutely fine.
Also I don't think anyone was being arsey - it's confusing as baby lead weaning and spoon feeding are different things.

The food is fun before one is such dangerous terminology. They do need it for iron

OP Take your time weaning don't stress find what works for you. I always offered a spoon to my lo and a spoon for me to feed him. He also liked finger foods especially broccoli. Try little and often see how you get on with finding your stride.

I hate the blw vs weaning. Who cares just feed your own. Sorry rant over

@Nix2020

The food is fun before one is such dangerous terminology. They do need it for iron

OP Take your time weaning don't stress find what works for you. I always offered a spoon to my lo and a spoon for me to feed him. He also liked finger foods especially broccoli. Try little and often see how you get on with finding your stride.

I hate the blw vs weaning. Who cares just feed your own. Sorry rant over

Agree agree agree!

She doesn't actually need food anyway - good before one is just for fun, so don't stress over it

Again, this isn’t true. Iron is very important after 6 months for example. It’s also advised that common allergens are introduced before then. But I agree with you in the sense that it’s not something to worry yourself to death over this early on. I just think it’s totally understandable to worry too! And I’ve got splinters up my bum from this fence

OP if you’re on Instagram there’s an account called SR nutrition which is really helpful - I’m far from an instamummy and was resistant when a friend recommended this but I’ve found it really really useful and I just basically copy what she’s doing. She’s talked recently about what to do if you’re little one isn’t taking to solids - which is really normal. She also has a blog if you Google her. There’s another one called Solid Starts which I think is American maybe but they’re really useful too.

So every health visitor and gp I've seen have been wrong in saying they don't need food before 1? 😬 I had issues with ds and literally everyone I saw told me not to worry because they don't need it 🤷🏻‍♀️

@mouldyhouse101

I did 100% BLW and as a result I have a kid that will eat amything.

I love comments like this.

You just don't have a fussy eater. It's nothing to do with BLW.

I only did purée. Also have a son who will eat everything. It's nothing to do with purées, he just enjoys food

It's true I don't have a fussy child he's a good eater, most children I have known to be weaned with everything being pureed struggle with lumps and textures. BLW is not for everyone but it must help overcome the lumpy/texture issues that some children have. Every kid is different but in my experiance BLW helps prevent fussy eaters.

@SailingAwayTodayPlease taking it from an older mum. The learning of anything in children is not a straight line but a zig zag. One day they eat the spoon, the next, they don't, one day they do the first roll, the next day, they won't be able to do it, they take their first step, then for a week nothing and so on.... for many years, they will know their time tables at breakfast and they will seem gone by dinner.

Now, you started feeding her, then she wasn't happy, that's normal.
Ignore the battle of terms. Focus on the WHAT she eats, not HOW it reaches her mouth. Give her the food you want her growing up eating. Purees, soups, are great.
Be just careful with ultra processed food (melty sticks) , they are Cheetos for babies and of course, she will go nuts for them and not be very keen for eat real food after tasting that. Did the problems start after she tried those or similar baby processed food?

You are shaping her food preferences and food habits, so just by keeping that in mind " I want her to grow up liking fresh and not processed food' you can make the right choice by your standards.

Keep her next to you when you eat, when you prepare your food. Keep her in her high chair close to the kitchen top, while you take the food out of the fridge, wash and chop the veggies and put them in the pot.

Try cooking the veggies in no more than 3 cm of water, enough to cover them, and simmer at low flame, so the liquid evaporates a but there is enough to make it nice and smooth. add a tiny cube of butter for taste.

It takes several tries to like a vegetable, but a sweet taste will be accepted straight away.

Remember, one step forward, one step back, two forward. Don't give up. She is not "refusing" the spoon. She just forgot how to swallow. Put less food on spoon, make it more liquid maybe (but not watery and tasteless, so a soup could be an idea).

It will be fine, whatever method you have. BLW is not for everybody. Nobody does it in France and French kid are known to eat whatever they are given.

Did they tell you not to stress about what they are eating, or literally that they don’t need food?
If it was the second, then yes that’s wrong. Babies need food from 6 months (some countries say by 6 months) and by 12 months they should be getting 50% of their calories from food.

Don't worry at this stage about what is going in. Just keep to her usual milk schedule and then offer up food when you need to do something. Stick her in the high chair with some sweet potato or leftover pasta whilst you make a cuppa or empty the dishwasher. If she eats it - great, if not, not a problem. Have her at the table while you eat lunch / dinner and put some of that on front of her. Fish pie, quiche, bean stew, whatever, just put it down and see what she makes of it. For her it's just as much getting used to textures. Even if that's squishing it in between her fingers!

Oh, and stick a shower curtain on the floor underneath her high chair! Makes you worry less about what's going on the floor, and is easier to clean up. Sweep up the big bits and shake the remaining crumbs over the hedge at the back!