Help!! Baby led weaning - tearing my hair out!!

[SailingAwayTodayPlease]

Hi,

I started weaning my Dd at 6 months, 3 weeks ago. At first I fed her purées for a week, but then gradually added finger foods and now trying to do a bit of both at each meal. I'm finding it really frustrating to be honest. The first week she was excited and gobbled down all the purées. Since then she's been really cranky at at table and refuses to be spoon fed anything. I have used a special soon such grabs up purées so she can feed herself, but she doesn't want to and the spoon ends up on the floor. She just throws down most finger foods, or mushes in her hands but nothing goes in her mouth. The only thing she will chew are those Ellas kitchen melts sticks.

I introduced breakfast last week and days 1-3 she loved having porridge with fruit purée but last 4 days she had none of it.

This has coincided with husband doing breakfast duty so I'm not sure if she's different with him or it's just his bad luck. I tried her again today and no luck.

At mealtimes she is now cranky and upset / frustrated.

Help! Is this normal?

I know it is hard to fit in time eating with your baby, but every time you do that is a win. Your baby (and later child) wants to be like you.

My children snacks on tomatoes (I love tomatoes) and put cucumber/peppers on open sandwiches of rye bread with cheese. I have never tried to make them eat this, but they want to eat what I do. I started to get into lettuce a year ago (I would add it to my plate) and they have started asking for lettuce.

You are really modelling a behaviour, in terms of actually eating, what you eat and later on table manners.

@DicklessWonder

It's tricky to all eat together due to dinner timings being too early for us but I'm having a snack with baby at lunch.

This is the easiest way to encourage eating. Check out Joe Wicks insta to see how his (admittedly older) child is copying what he sees at mealtimes. You’re making this much harder for yourself than it needs to be.

Oh the smugness of someone who has had a child who is good at eating!!

My first took to food instantly (19 years ago so no fancy names for anything, and started at 4 months as per the guidelines at the time) - powered through purees, demolished lumps, jars of food, and cleared my plate.

No. 2 clamped her mouth shut as soon as she saw anything approaching it. Finger food just ended up on the floor. Wasn't interested in anything anyone else was eating. I should have been warned by the fact she flatly refused a bottle. The stress of your baby starving themselves (yes - they do if they are that stubborn), the sense of failure is immense. And yes I know baby picks up on that which makes things worse, but it is very hard to keep calm. I had done exactly the same with her as I had my first.

The first meal she ate? We got stuck in an airport lounge with a delayed flight - she ate a McDonalds Happy Meal. Oh how we celebrated.

All babies are different. It has nothing to do with the method you use.

@Seeline

I totally agree.

Babies either are 'good' eaters (whatever good means) or they're not.

The method you choose won't impact this.

DS1 is an absolute breeze with food. Mixed purées with finger foods.

I'm fully expecting the next one to not be so easy

I think the best advice is not to stress. It's very early days and your baby does not need the food at this stage, it's all about getting used to food, tastes, textures, feeling, squishing, dropping and sometimes eating.
It's a very messy business so the shower curtain idea under the chair is excellent advice as are those long sleeved cover everything bibs.
Stay relaxed, stop if she starts actually throwing food cos that's a habit you don't want to encourage and she's not going to eat any more then anyway.

Despite the mess try to make it fun. If the porridge and yoghurt are thick enough she can stick her hands in it and lick them. Have a spoon available to preload if she wants to try using that.

You don't have to do it that way though, I did purée for my older ones and BLW for the youngest. They all eat fine now they're much bigger, but all have had various phases of fussy eating.

I was commenting on having mealtimes together, so baby learns what to do, not on any method, so why quote me?!

I wonder also if there have been too many things offered to baby? Go back to basics and just put some items which are a bit blander and easy to hold on the tray? Give those for a few days so she gets used to seeing the same items?

So al dente pasta (not massively nutritious but easier to grab), steamed carrot sticks, cucumber, broccoli etc. Narrow the range down. Mine ate a lot of broccoli, easy to hold!

I always did a bit of both, BLW and spoon feeding (I refuse to let me children get absolutely covered in yoghurt for example) and they got there eventually. One good eater and two fussy.

She's still tiny, don't stress yourself.