Help! Baby slipped off my knee and onto the floor

[Donnas01]

So, sadly last night my baby girl slipped off my knee when I was putting her cream on and into the floor (hitting her back,neck and head). Thankfully it’s a soft and thick carpet and the fall wouldn’t have been more than 1.5ft. I didn’t even hear her fall to the ground and by the time I felt her slip, it was too late. 3 seconds later and this would never have happened.

I still don’t know how it happened, she’s almost 7 months old and nothing like this has ever happened. I’m so paranoid about everything.

I think because I had put too much cream on one hand (it just came shooting out) and she was sitting on my knee, I then held her shoulder eith the hand full of cream (stupid I know) and turned to grab the bottle from behind me (planning to scrape the cream onto the lid and hugging her as I did it and switching between hands and always keeping a tight grip usually) but she was suddenly in the floor. She had slipped out of my hand. I was so stupid and I can’t believe I did it. My partner had been working away during the week, mon - fri for the last 10 weeks and I had been doing everything on my own as I can’t get any help with covid. I have been lucky to get 1.5 or 2 hours a night. I thought I was doing so well until now.

As soon as it happened I screamed so she started to cry. She seemed fine right after but I panicked and called emergency services. Sadly, I just felt completely judged the whole time. They never once said, don’t worry this happens or it’s ok. They said they usually call social services for this kind of thing for under 1s but won’t this time. That really shocked me.

Every nurse and doctor asked me if social services were involved. I told them at one point to phone social services and I don’t mind them coming. I think they may have been tested my reaction so no idea if it’s policy. I don’t understand as she had no marks or bruising or cuts, nails were clean and short, she was clean, can tell she’s well fed, clean clothes, being loud and smiling away and so on. I know I’m her mother but you can tell when a child isn’t looked after. I would die for my child so this absolutely destroyed me. The last doctor I saw was very nice to me I must say later on, I think she thought I was a bit too cautious.

Thankfully my dd was absolutely fine, didn’t even have a red mark so I may have been over the top but I just wanted to make sure she was ok.

I just can’t get passed the guilt, I feel so horrible. Like she would be better off without me. I was brought up by an abusive alcoholic who I was constantly given back to by the care system over my dad, who was drinking at the time (he did quit thankfully). No daughter should ever have to say that she is lucky that her mother died when she did. I never want my daughter to ever even think that. I want her to be proud of me and I let her down. I feel scared to even hold her and keep reliving that moment like
I’m cursed.

I’m sorry for the long speech. Please say I’m not the only one?

Of course I remember that crippling mum guilt when something went wrong while my son was little. I hope you feel better soon. The mum guilt is different now but it never goes away!

I've never met a kid who didn't either fall off the bed or the sofa tbh OP. This must happened to be off your knee. This shit happens and they dont usually hurt themselves because they're not expecting to fall, so their bodies are relaxed.

Let it go, you had a fright but you're not the worse mum in the world.

Hello OP.
It's ok, these things do happen. Even when we're being very careful and trying our best (which you were, you sound a lovely mummy) things like this can occur and can happen to anyone! They are just following protocol, it's nothing personal at all. Of course they can see she is well looked after and that you are a caring, loving mother. Even is social services do get in touch, don't panic. They are there to help and support not judge. They will be able to see immediately that she is safe and well cared for.
Im sorry for what you went through in the past, that must have been awful. Your daughter will be proud of you, you have nothing to worry about. Once she starts walking they often have tumbles and bumps, as much as you try and stop it and make it safe it happens. You did the right thing in calling the emergency services. Stop being hard on yourself!!

I sneezed once and accidentally bumped heads (not hard) with my toddler as he was on my lap and lifted his head as I bent forward. I felt awful afterwards even though it was an accident. He was fine after 30 seconds. I worried for hours afterwards!! He's now nearly 9 and a strapping lad for his age and plays rugby and gets into all sorts of scrapes

You're not the only one. It's natural to worry.

You did nothing wrong, it was an accident and she is fine. These things happen! My DS had to have an X-ray a few weeks ago because his dad fell down the stairs with him and landed on his foot.

I'm sorry that the doctors and nurses kept asking you, it's just a part of their job and they would be in big trouble if they missed anything.

Oh OP, you're definitely not alone in this kind of mishap. It's such a shock for the parent but you know your baby is fine and that's the most important thing.

Our parents likely had similar accidents when they parented us - I know mine did . And I have as a parent. It's very common. You've learned something no doubt but try not to let your anxiety take over - you're doing fine

Maybe they were concered about the proportionate response? A 1.5 foot fall onto a thick carpet and a completely fine and concious child wouldn't result in most calling emergency services. Everyone ends up with a baby taking a small fall or something when they start suddenly becoming more mobile but while I've felt awful I've never felt the need to call it in as an emergency and perhaps they are trained to have their ears pricked up to stuff like that because it seems a bit strange.

I hope your baby is okay and I hope you are feeling better and have some support. If you feel you do need support from your DH or family or professional please do reach out

I worked in A+E up until December. Its policy to ask everyone if SS are imvolved in the family. Its literally a tick box exercise. In my hospital it was on the triage form we have to fill in for each child.

It’s absolutely standard for medical professionals to ask everyone who attends with a child if they have a social worker. They ask literally everyone. I work in a children’s A&E. my colleagues know me and they know my DS and on occasions when I’ve brought him in with an injury they still have to ask me if we have a social worker. They’re not implying anything.

Agree with @PearlescentIridescent that this doesn’t sound like a proportionate response to what sounds like a very minor bump.

I thought you were going to say your baby was days or weeks old, but at months old and onto carpet, unless you’re describing it incorrectly surely a baby would be more likely to almost bounce and be a bit irritated?

Going to hospital at the height of a pandemic sounds hugely OTT for this, and I might be worried more for your state of mind.

Are you otherwise struggling emotionally?

please don't worry op you sound like a great mum this is a learning experience, learning to be human, confident, and fallible. all my kids have had mis haps, fingers trapped in doors, head wounds on bath taps, once fell out of a baby swing thing when I popped through to the next room.

Oh my goodness happens to everyone please try not to worry. It was probably your reaction that upset your baby more.

When my son was 7 months old a pram fell on him in a shop, on the phone to emergency services at home he fell off the sofa I was absolutely sick with worry shaking. But you have to try and be calm they pick up on it all.

He was totally fine by the way... Me not so much!!!

As soon as it happened I screamed so she started to cry. She seemed fine right after but I panicked and called emergency services

Seriously?? That’s an insane reaction!

Hi @Donnas01

I have a 6-month-old and I know what it's like to be a new parent.

You're doing extremely well considering that your partner is working away at the moment and you have to do everything on your own.

I accidentally bumped my baby's head on the door once while walking through the door and I once accidentally dipped my baby's nose and mouth in the water while holding him tummy downwards while bathing him ( only for a second, but felt so, so guilty about it).

Like you, I felt really horrible.

I also felt extreme anxiety at the beginning in the first 2-3 months. He sleeps through the night now, but at the beginning he woke up every 2 to 3 hours during the night. I changed him, fed him and put him back safely in his own cot. I would wake up half an hour later and panick for a few seconds, thinking that I forgot to put him back in his cot and that I buried him underneath me.

So I know what it's like to have anxiety, but you sound like a really loving mum and your baby wasn't hurt by that minor "accident".

My friend is a paramedic and he told me that any fall/impact injury with under 1s they do usually involve social services just in case abuse is occurring. Don't take it personally. Glad baby is ok!

@hismama I used to do exactly the same thing! Wake up terrified that id somehow bought him into bed with me

You sound like a lovely mum and you are doing a great job. Accidents happen and it doesn't sound like it was bad?

There will be more bumps along the way, especially when your baby is moving. I'm saying this kindly but I think your response was not normal. Panic and worry is completely normal but I think usually you can acknowledge that actually your baby is fine and the incident was minor although I know it feels traumatising at the time. So if you find that your responses to things like that are OTT it might help to speak to your health visitor who can also reassure you. Hope that makes sense.

I second what others have said, it's absolutely not personal at all. It's because you were so shocked by what happened that it seemed you were being judges, I'd say. The HC professionals were just following standard practice.

Also, it's probably unusual for a baby not to have some such fall or upset! Completely normal. You're being really hard on yourself. Your baby is lucky she has such a caring mother, try to cut yourself some slack and put it behind you.

Oh god, I have a list and she's only 13 months!

When she was tiny, and breast feeding, I dropped my phone on her, sideways on, onto her head

I was putting a bib on her and pressed the press stud together... except I somehow managed to trap a chunk of her neck in the press stud! The scream was horrific and she had a little mark on the back of her next for ages!

Since she started toddling, there's not many days go by that she doesn't fall over or walk into something! I don't know how we've avoided serious injury so far!

As soon as it happened I screamed so she started to cry. She seemed fine right after but I panicked and called emergency services. Sadly, I just felt completely judged the whole time.

This was a total over reaction, and yes they were judging you I'm afraid. Take it on the chin and learn from this as you have years of falls and bumps ahead of you and you need to toughen-up and learn to sensibly assess your child in these circumstances.

When dd was a baby the stairs in our house were between 2 walls, and we had a stairgate at the top and another one at the bottom. I can't remember how, but she managed to push the top stairgate out of the cups and went flying down the stairs headfirst which turned into a roll and she banged her head on the wall near the bottom.

It's over 20 years ago, and I don't remember even calling the gp. In my defence, at the age of 2 I took a wrong turn coming out of the loo in the middle of the night and took a header down 10ft and head-butted a Victorian tiled hall floor. I remember sitting up and thinking that my head hurt and next minute yelling the house down. DD didn't even cry, so I think I assumed that she hadn't hurt herself. She didn't do it again.

Can you talk to your health visitor about getting some support? Especially for your mental health. That sounds like quite an over reaction. There's no need to worry about a little bump for a baby that age, never mind going to a&e. You sound like a wonderful mum and your daughter is so lucky to have you. But you're not getting much sleep and you're dealing with a lot by yourself, and you're carrying a lot of extra worry from your past. Please look after yourself and ask for support. Sending best wishes

Honestly virtually every mum has a story like this...I remember my ds rolling off the bed and getting stuck between it and my bedside table! He is at secondary school now and was absolutely fine!

As for this...

Every nurse and doctor asked me if social services were involved

Pretty sure this is standard. I took my DC to A&E and the doctor asked me this. The issue we were there for was nothing which anyone could have caused on purpose...it was to be checked for diabetes (long story!) But like I said, nothing that could have been construed as sinister.

@Letsallscreamatthesistene

I worked in A+E up until December. Its policy to ask everyone if SS are imvolved in the family. Its literally a tick box exercise. In my hospital it was on the triage form we have to fill in for each child.

Just in case you missed this @Donnas01

Don't worry. I dropped my daughter on her head when she was 2 days old. Didn't know a baby could wriggle (FTM) and trying to BF (unsuccessfully!) at 2 in the morning on the sofa. She went plop, I screamed, cried and took her to A&E where the amazing nurses took her off our hands so we could have a tea and jam on toast whilst they fed her formula and the doc looked her over. Consultant was amazing and said nothing was wrong and not to worry. I still have tea with jam on toast when I feel helpless now and it's 2 years on!