Help! Baby slipped off my knee and onto the floor

[Donnas01]

So, sadly last night my baby girl slipped off my knee when I was putting her cream on and into the floor (hitting her back,neck and head). Thankfully it’s a soft and thick carpet and the fall wouldn’t have been more than 1.5ft. I didn’t even hear her fall to the ground and by the time I felt her slip, it was too late. 3 seconds later and this would never have happened.

I still don’t know how it happened, she’s almost 7 months old and nothing like this has ever happened. I’m so paranoid about everything.

I think because I had put too much cream on one hand (it just came shooting out) and she was sitting on my knee, I then held her shoulder eith the hand full of cream (stupid I know) and turned to grab the bottle from behind me (planning to scrape the cream onto the lid and hugging her as I did it and switching between hands and always keeping a tight grip usually) but she was suddenly in the floor. She had slipped out of my hand. I was so stupid and I can’t believe I did it. My partner had been working away during the week, mon - fri for the last 10 weeks and I had been doing everything on my own as I can’t get any help with covid. I have been lucky to get 1.5 or 2 hours a night. I thought I was doing so well until now.

As soon as it happened I screamed so she started to cry. She seemed fine right after but I panicked and called emergency services. Sadly, I just felt completely judged the whole time. They never once said, don’t worry this happens or it’s ok. They said they usually call social services for this kind of thing for under 1s but won’t this time. That really shocked me.

Every nurse and doctor asked me if social services were involved. I told them at one point to phone social services and I don’t mind them coming. I think they may have been tested my reaction so no idea if it’s policy. I don’t understand as she had no marks or bruising or cuts, nails were clean and short, she was clean, can tell she’s well fed, clean clothes, being loud and smiling away and so on. I know I’m her mother but you can tell when a child isn’t looked after. I would die for my child so this absolutely destroyed me. The last doctor I saw was very nice to me I must say later on, I think she thought I was a bit too cautious.

Thankfully my dd was absolutely fine, didn’t even have a red mark so I may have been over the top but I just wanted to make sure she was ok.

I just can’t get passed the guilt, I feel so horrible. Like she would be better off without me. I was brought up by an abusive alcoholic who I was constantly given back to by the care system over my dad, who was drinking at the time (he did quit thankfully). No daughter should ever have to say that she is lucky that her mother died when she did. I never want my daughter to ever even think that. I want her to be proud of me and I let her down. I feel scared to even hold her and keep reliving that moment like
I’m cursed.

I’m sorry for the long speech. Please say I’m not the only one?

@partyatthepalace

Everyone has things like this happen, it’s totally normal. The staff are just doing their jobs re asking questions.

It sounds like you did have an unusually big response though (it doesn’t sound like there’s anyway she could have been hurt) so could you get a bit more support at all? Friends - or could your partner be home a bit more till end lockdown. If not, don’t be hard on yourself, sounds like you are a great mother.

I know, looking back I wish I was just calm. I could have got it checked out but without the stress.

Sadly not, my friends are all working with kids in school so I can’t risk catching coronavirus as if so, my husband would have to stop work and would only be paid 2 days. Thankfully only a few more weeks and he has a month or two off (self employed).
And for family, each bubble as someone that is very high risk so I just couldn’t do it. If I passed anything on (with my husband working), I would feel terrible. Sadly, I’m stuck for now but not for long. Phew!
Thank you 🙏

@Kitkat151

Stuff like this happens all the time....don’t beat yourself up....not sure if you are aware....but all a and e attendances are reported to your child’s named health visitor......and then recorded on your child’s records....I wouldn’t imagine for a moment that they will contact you over what was very obviously an accident but just to give you the heads up in case they do.

Thank you 🙏

For what’s it’s worth mine fell off the bed at a few months old and I didnt take him to hospital..

he’s nearly 8 now and still alive

Donnas01
Well, we are trying a new set routine, wake up at 7am, up for 2. 5 hours, nap, up for 2. 5 hours and bedtime routine at 6:15 and bed for 7pm. It just hasn’t worked yet. She’s also started solids (not that recent, about 3 weeks) and has eczema which when it’s bad, can keep her awake. We are thinking of a sleep method but really not sure. Any advice would be appreciated. Thank you 🙏

We didn't really do any sleep training with ours tbh, is she walking for food? I think at 7 months ours were Def having at least a midnight feed to get them through.

Is she up so much over night or are you struggling to sleep once she goes down?

@Donnas01 my little boy rolled off the bed at 6 months (I know this happens to lots of mums. My second rolled off the settee even though i should have known better! I didn’t ring either times as they were showing no signs of distress. I think if you ring every time your little one has an injury it would get a but ridiculous. Though I know what you mean about being paranoid.

should have said accident, instead of injury

@SleepingStandingUp

Donnas01 Well, we are trying a new set routine, wake up at 7am, up for 2. 5 hours, nap, up for 2. 5 hours and bedtime routine at 6:15 and bed for 7pm. It just hasn’t worked yet. She’s also started solids (not that recent, about 3 weeks) and has eczema which when it’s bad, can keep her awake. We are thinking of a sleep method but really not sure. Any advice would be appreciated. Thank you 🙏

We didn't really do any sleep training with ours tbh, is she walking for food? I think at 7 months ours were Def having at least a midnight feed to get them through.

Is she up so much over night or are you struggling to sleep once she goes down?

Yeah she used to wake once sometimes twice for food but now it’s multiple times if I’m lucky.

The other might, she woke up 7 times and took at least 30 mins to get back to sleep. I do struggle to her back to sleep as my mind is in the ‘get up and ready for the day mode’. I have to go to bed at 7pm with her to get some sleep. Hopefully this is just a development stage and she will be a bit more ready in a few weeks for her own room again (had to bring her cot into mines). She also will only nap on me at the moment.
I can’t wait for a full nights sleep. Or even half a nights. She was a great sleeper until a month ago.

"My partner had been working away during the week, mon - fri for the last 10 weeks and I had been doing everything on my own as I can’t get any help with covid. I have been lucky to get 1.5 or 2 hours a night. I thought I was doing so well until now."

What do you mean "I have been lucky to get 1.5 or 2 hours a night"? Are you talking about sleep, is that all you're getting?

Covid rules allow you to have a support bubble (because you have a child under 1) and a childcare bubble. Please do this if there is anyone you can ask. Or if finances allow, see if you could pay someone to help while your partner is away, even if it's just one session a week or something.

@Fatas

should have said accident, instead of injury

Thought i did on here, but I definitely said it to them on the phone and in person so just a typo on here.

If course sleeping works go for it, just do it safely. One of the twins end up on my bed periodically and the 5 year old climbs in too sometimes lol.

I'd make sure she has a good feed before bed, maybe some baby porridge?

@Donnas01 sorry I think I confused you, I meant I should -error in previous post

This is total mum guilt, you sound like a great mum... The fact you double checked for what sounds like a relatively minor incident prices that. When my little boy was two weeks old I tried to move him in the Moses basket asleep. Id had a c section and as soon as I lifted the basket I realised it was a mistake and I dropped it in crippling pain. Luckily the basket was only a few inches above the ground but I had the same guilt for weeks. It's usual as a new mother to question your compentancies when things don't go right. Ultimately professionals will often not out you at as ease as if you were one of the few bad apples they don't want you to feel likes it's okay...but that doesn't mean as a one off genuine accident it isn't

Sounds like a scary situation for you! So glad everything is okay. It might seem like an over reaction right now but you were doing what you thought was right for your child in the moment. Hindsight is 20/20.
Loads of people have put their own experiences on here, so hopefully that’s reassuring for you! You sounds like a great mum! X

My little one fell off the bed at seven months, I got an awful fright and I rang the go for advice, she just told me to look out for any vomiting or sleepiness and that normally she would say go into the hospital to be checked but that since it sounded like baby was fine to give it a miss unless we felt something was up what with Covid! So don’t feel silly it’s never the wrong thing to do to just check! You are not the only one though we all have had accidents!

Several people saying that like OP, they ‘screamed’ when similar happened to them. Children look to their parents to know how to react.

That’s why when a kid falls over, there is a delay before they cry. If they look to Mum and she’s freaking out, the child is going to panic too. It’s a sure fire way to raise an anxious child. It’s not good parenting to be over-reactive!

You should always be calm and be that safe, reassuring point of contact that every child needs.

It’s not good parenting to be over-reactive!

You should always be calm and be that safe, reassuring point of contact that every child needs.

I don't disagree but no one's plans to be the hysterical parent until their exhausted and emotionally spent and something happens and their scared and they panic. Yes you might push it down and appear calm esp if they need to conduct a call with 111 or 999 but there's not much point lecturing stressed out parents on how they're being bad parents when it's great of being a bad parent that's stressing them out

@BumbleBiscuit

Several people saying that like OP, they ‘screamed’ when similar happened to them. Children look to their parents to know how to react.

That’s why when a kid falls over, there is a delay before they cry. If they look to Mum and she’s freaking out, the child is going to panic too. It’s a sure fire way to raise an anxious child. It’s not good parenting to be over-reactive!

You should always be calm and be that safe, reassuring point of contact that every child needs.

Okay, commenting on these posts saying I’m ‘insane’ as per you previous post and now a ‘bad parent’ is not supportive or helpful. You are clearly someone who reads these posts to make yourself feel better and be judgemental.

I’ve already said I was over the top but that it was accidental and I’ll try in future not to be but that I’m exhausted from doing everything mon- fri and I love this little girl more than anything in the world. I screamed but she and I were fine 10 mins later and I was calm so I am going to forgive myself and know I’m a good parent. If she hadn’t slipped of my knee and my husbands, no way I would have screamed. Shame we can’t all be perfect like you but feel free to judge somewhere else to be very blunt and rude, like you.

@SleepingStandingUp

If course sleeping works go for it, just do it safely. One of the twins end up on my bed periodically and the 5 year old climbs in too sometimes lol.

I'd make sure she has a good feed before bed, maybe some baby porridge?

@SleepingStandingUp I’m a bit nervous about being in the same bed as I turn over a lot! And I mean a lot! My dd has just let me have 4.5 hours sleep! No idea what I did different, she had a longer nap today so maybe not over tired. I’ll definitely give baby porridge a go, thank you. You have really helped me.

And thank you to the other posters. Of course, I so glad that all our little ones seem to have recovered and it’s not just happened to me like I stupidly thought. I feel a lot better now, sleep and talking it out have helped. Hopefully I will be calmer next time, I’ll try anyway

@FaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaBlah

It’s absolutely standard for medical professionals to ask everyone who attends with a child if they have a social worker. They ask literally everyone. I work in a children’s A&E. my colleagues know me and they know my DS and on occasions when I’ve brought him in with an injury they still have to ask me if we have a social worker. They’re not implying anything.

I've never been asked, they just ask the doctor and school name. Maybe it's a new thing or an English thing ?

@russiancurry I'm English and I have also never been asked. My toddler fractured his leg in 2019 and they didn't ask then. Maybe it's very new or regional

I think you need to step back and realise how amazing you are doing OP. You are doing a huge amount on your own. My DH does 24hour shifts and I dread them so I cant imagine him being away for any longer.

You are keeping your little girl happy and healthy while having very little sleep or support. That is no small achievement. Yes some may say it was an over reaction calling emergency services and you may look back when she is older and laugh, but it's hard to keep calm and collected when you are exhausted! As you are on your own I can understand why you dont want to leave anything to chance either. I'm the same, I'm much more heightened around my DS safety when DH is at work as I know I don't have any support if things get worse.

You mention not wanting your DD to see you as you did your parents. There is no fear of that. She is very lucky to have a mum who loves and protects her so much. Bad parents dont worry if they are bad parents, the fact you are even worrying shows you arent.

I understand your concerns re:covid and forming a bubble but please do consider it. If you dont want to mix friends and family can still drop off a dinner or take a basket of laundry. Many people probably want to help but dont know how at the moment

@russiancurry and @PearlescentIridescent

Hmmm, strange as seems they have asked a few other people too. Maybe it’s new in England. I just thought they would have seen them didn’t have any involvement on the paperwork but maybe something has happened and they have updated the system.

It isnt new

Every time a child visits A& E, even if it’s not for an injury but say a rash etc, the question of social services is asked.

I’m sorry this happened and it’s shocked you. With new cars they say the first scratch is the most painful. Hope baby is ok.

I should add, ive been working in A+E since 2015 and ive always asked it