My DS isn’t meeting his milestones - so upset

[knitting774]

My DS is 8.5 months old.

He’s only rolled from back to front and front to back about 20 times ever. He rolls a lot from side to side to reach his toys, but almost always gets stuck on his arm before making the full roll from back to front. If he could just pull his arm out from underneath him he’d be there!

He can lift his head well when on his tummy and has full neck control, but he hates tummy time and after about 2 minutes of it, he will put his head down on the mat and start crying. He doesn’t seem to realize that he could just roll himself over to get out of the situation!

When put in a sitting position he can’t sit up without support from me - if I let go he will last about 5-10 seconds before falling over. I obviously catch him before his head hits the mat.

Weaning is going well and he sits in his highchair (supported with a cushion) happily for ages and loves his food. He’s good at chewing and swallowing - he’s eating fairly hard foods like pasta and strawberries with no issues. He babbles a lot and makes lots of different sounds.

When supported in the standing position by me (my hands under his armpits) he will bear weight on his legs for a few seconds before giving up.

I’m so concerned as friends’ babies were all sitting, rolling and crawling with ease by this age. DS just seems so far away from crawling, and walking seems a lifetime away.

I read recently that not sitting unaided by 9 months can be a sign of cerebral palsy and am now totally freaking out - DS only has 2 weeks to go.

My HV isn’t helpful, GP is worse and we have no money to pay for private assessments. I feel at my wits end and like I have nowhere to turn.

DH thinks I’m worrying over nothing and says it’s DS’s big and heavy head that is slowing him down (his head was 98th percentile or something like that).

Please help

Tbh I agree with your husband you are worrying over nothing. My eldest didn't walk until he was about 16 months and my friends babies were walking around or before their first birthdays. If your still worried by the time he is 1 then visit your GP. Don't forget boys are also very lazy even as babies.

My son didn't crawl until 11 months. Everything you've said is really normal. Things change really quickly too. At 10 months and 3 weeks, my son showed zero signs of crawling. Then within 48 hours he was crawling everywhere.

Enjoy him. One day when all these milestones have been accomplished you'll probably forget the exact time he hit them!

I am with your DH. Babies all develop at different rates and some miss out steps altogether. It sounds like your baby is developing well. Please don't waste your money on private assessments. Wait until he is 15-18 months then reassess. I am willing to bet he will be doing just fine by then. My DD2 was a bit slow with moving and didn't walk until she was 15 months. She is a strapping 23 yo now who is fully functional!

It's so difficult not to compare your LO to everyone else's. I was wondering why my LO didn't have teeth when my cousin's LO and friend's LO had their first ones. Their children walked first but my LO wasn't far behind.

I found that buying a walker really helped my LO. She used it to prop herself up initially and then started kneeling to reach the buttons at the top of it. There's also those seats where the baby can be placed and he might find that he'll learn how to sit up in one of those.

It's so easy to worry but please try not to. Some kids take longer to get to things. Maybe try practicing sitting him up like people do tummy time and then he'll learn. Watching other children helps my LO but lockdown takes that away.

Try not to panic but if it continues in a month and your LO isn't hitting the other milestones (as there's quite a few in the first year) then maybe seek a second opinion other than your usual GP.

My DS was the same. Head was high centile, his weight low. He was just very happy being stationary! Didn’t crawl until he was 12 months. Suddenly at 15 months decided he was going to run everywhere.
If your worried, keep asking for help though, it’s always best to check.

I understand your worry I was an early Walker (9 months) so assumed my children would be the same....nope! My first had no interest and didn’t even crawl till she was nearly 13 months and walked at 18 months! Even sitting at 9 months was wobbly and needed pillows all around her. My second crawled at 9 months and walked at 14 months!
Both now very active teenager and nearly teenager! But I remember that feeling of why are they so delayed - every child different!

Apparently I didn't crawl until 14 months. I was an extremely lazy baby.

And I'm an extremely lazy adult

A private physio assessment may not be as expensive as you expect.
It might give you a few pointers too. I wouldn’t worry too much though.

Sounds normal to me too! My DD was wobbly at sitting at 9 months too. She is 9 years old now and perfectly able to sit :)

He is hitting his milestones though :)

Just a bit later than others.

As PP said, sometimes they can just do things almost overnight. My DD couldn't sit up for more than a few moments. Then boom, overnight, he could sit up forever!

Can't even remember when he rolled,but I know he wasn't much of a roller, especially back to front.

Sound like his fine motor is good, how's his pincer grip? Can he pick up a pea for example?

And he's babbling away happily. Maybe he's focusing on his communication skills before his gross motor.

Please try not to worry, and certainly don't Google symptoms! If necessary,speak to your HV or GP to help out your mind at ease.

Another one here with a huge baby who didnt walk until 18 months - she was just too big to support her own weight.

Your ds is doing great with weaning!! At a year old one of my dc had no teeth!! All but 1 were walking - he waiting til 15 months!! Ds barely spoke at 3. Dd never shut up past a year. You have 1 to go by - comparing to others dc never goes well. Allow yourself to enjoy your dc. And trust me be grateful he isn't mobile yet! My dgs walked at 7 months.. Absolutely no fun whatsoever...
Ime of many many dc, diet and weaning is the toughest part. And you have cracked that already op..

When he gets stuck rolling put gentle pressure on the cheek of his bottom opposite to the stuck arm (so of his left arm is stuck push on his right cheek).

Ok, so he’s definitely a bit behind on gross motor skills. So was my DD at that age - she wasn’t rolling at all at that age. It’s not uncommon for babies that hate tummy time to get behind on those ones. She’s perfectly well coordinated now, she caught up around 18 months/2 years.

Check milestones in other areas e.g. social development, verbal skills, fine motor. If these are all in place, I wouldn’t worry. Milestones are based on averages, there is variation of a couple of months at times.

My son didn’t roll over at all, not even once, til 8 months. He didn’t crawl til 13 months and finally started walking at 18 months. In the meantime he was very interactive with everyone, he was happy and smiley and picking up lots of words along the way. Now he is 12 and just got back from running 3 miles. He‘s not the fastest in the pack but he loves sport and does very well academically. And he’s just an all around great kid.

The milestones they tell you are pretty arbitrary. My mum used to worry me about what DS wasn’t doing and DH and I had our moments of concern but I knew in my gut, even though he was my first child, that he was fine. I could see him progressing from week to week and I just knew. If your gut tells you otherwise, that might be worth exploring. But having raised my DS, nothing you have told me would be concerning.

I never crawled and didn't walk until I was 19 months as DM likes to remind me and tell everyone 😂.

Just relax a bit - I am sure your DS will be fine

My eldest took ages to get moving, he crawled at around 10.5 months and walked just shy of 18 months. He is 10 now and you would never know.
Milestones are just a guideline not every baby will hit them at the same time. Give it a couple of months and see how far he has come in that time, if you are still worried contact your HV again.

Awww love him, I’m sure he will start soon and then you’ll be longing for the days when he was stationary! 8.5 months is far too little to be worrying about exact milestones. My DS didn’t talk until he was nearly 3, now at 11 I can’t shut him up!

Is there any other reason CP might be a concern? Was he premature? Or a difficult birth? Any major illnesses as a newborn?

Thanks everyone.

Check milestones in other areas e.g. social development, verbal skills, fine motor. If these are all in place, I wouldn’t worry.

Verbal skills and fine motor all seem good - he has mastered the pincer grip. Social development I'm not sure as we barely see anyone due to lockdown

He was meant to be having an 8 month check with the HV this month, but I think that's now on hold due to Covid.

Perhaps I'll see where he's at in another month and if there's been no improvement I will reassess.

My DS was the same. Head was high centile, his weight low. He was just very happy being stationary!

This is the same as my DS. It's almost like he doesn't see the point in moving. I've tried putting toys just out of reach to encourage him, but if he can't get them, he will just give up, go back to lying on his back and putting his feet in his mouth!

Mine didn't roll until she could crawl. Don't think she saw the point before that. He doesn't sound that far behind. Does he have something to look up at when sitting? Mine made more of an effort when there was something interesting going on.

That's the thing with averages though, and your baby hasn't yet read the books. He sounds fine to me; stop worrying and enjoy your baby!

Is there any other reason CP might be a concern? Was he premature? Or a difficult birth? Any major illnesses as a newborn?

He wasn't premature - he was induced, I was then in labour for about 10 hours (I think - it's all a total blur!) before he got stuck and was delivered by EMCS. He's not had any illnesses since birth. Could that sort of birth cause cerebral palsy?!

Apologies, bold fail...

Oh, and they also used forceps but weren't able to pull him out, hence the EMCS!

Ok OP, so other areas of development sound fine. Some babies do better in some areas than others and this may or may not persist.

My DD was always ahead on verbal things and behind on gross motor milestones as a baby. That was just her personality and her interests. By the time she was 1 she still couldn’t crawl (although she was just starting to walk), but she had a vocabulary of over 100 words. She was reading independently by the time she was 3 and a half. Perhaps your DS just isn’t into gross motor development right now.