My DS isn’t meeting his milestones - so upset

[knitting774]

My DS is 8.5 months old.

He’s only rolled from back to front and front to back about 20 times ever. He rolls a lot from side to side to reach his toys, but almost always gets stuck on his arm before making the full roll from back to front. If he could just pull his arm out from underneath him he’d be there!

He can lift his head well when on his tummy and has full neck control, but he hates tummy time and after about 2 minutes of it, he will put his head down on the mat and start crying. He doesn’t seem to realize that he could just roll himself over to get out of the situation!

When put in a sitting position he can’t sit up without support from me - if I let go he will last about 5-10 seconds before falling over. I obviously catch him before his head hits the mat.

Weaning is going well and he sits in his highchair (supported with a cushion) happily for ages and loves his food. He’s good at chewing and swallowing - he’s eating fairly hard foods like pasta and strawberries with no issues. He babbles a lot and makes lots of different sounds.

When supported in the standing position by me (my hands under his armpits) he will bear weight on his legs for a few seconds before giving up.

I’m so concerned as friends’ babies were all sitting, rolling and crawling with ease by this age. DS just seems so far away from crawling, and walking seems a lifetime away.

I read recently that not sitting unaided by 9 months can be a sign of cerebral palsy and am now totally freaking out - DS only has 2 weeks to go.

My HV isn’t helpful, GP is worse and we have no money to pay for private assessments. I feel at my wits end and like I have nowhere to turn.

DH thinks I’m worrying over nothing and says it’s DS’s big and heavy head that is slowing him down (his head was 98th percentile or something like that).

Please help

My boy was induced at 37 weeks and I always worried about how things would develop for him. He is doing great. They literally do things overnight. No sign of them doing something and then they are whizzing around the place 😂

Also, don't Google what things are a sign of. Everything seems to be a sign of something and just causes false worrying.

Honestly all babies do things at different times. My baby seems great at the physical stuff but hes shit at eating. He doesnt enjoy food. Totally uninterested in it. Hes going that way with his milk too. Doesnt have any teeth at 9.5 months. Your baby sounds the opposite! They're all different. I think you should stop worrying and maybe reassess when he's 1. Easier said than done though, I know.

@knitting774

Is there any other reason CP might be a concern? Was he premature? Or a difficult birth? Any major illnesses as a newborn?

He wasn't premature - he was induced, I was then in labour for about 10 hours (I think - it's all a total blur!) before he got stuck and was delivered by EMCS. He's not had any illnesses since birth. Could that sort of birth cause cerebral palsy?!

I would think that’s unlikely to be a cause. Unless he was starved of oxygen for a significant amount of time and I’m sure you would know if that was the case. I assume he didn’t need any time in NICU?

I would say it’s more than likely in a few of weeks you’ll be chasing after a crawling baby wondering why you were ever so worried

He sounds pretty normal. I would advise trying not to worry.

My eldest talked walked and everything else early. She knew her colours and numbers at her age 1 check. Yay for me. Now shows some interesting difficulties with social skills.

My youngest was much slower off the bat, but is doing much better overall.

They are all different. Perhaps yours hasn’t seen many other babies rolling or crawling, so hasn’t quite realised it’s an option. Perhaps he’s just going with de eloping other skills for now.

dd1 is now 15 and as normal and healthy as you can get.

As a baby I was incredibly worried about her.
She didn't weight bear on her legs when you held her up at all.
She was late rolling and late sitting.
When it came to crawling she was late and then when she did she pulled herself along with her arms, letting her legs trail. She eventually became really fast wriggling like a snake, using her legs a bit but not much, all arms.
She was 12 months and not weight bearing/pulling herself up to standing at all.

I was living overseas in a country with poor healthcare, if I had been in UK I would have taken her to GP.

Then at 12 months plus 2 weeks, she tucked her legs under and did a commando crawl using legs too. She suddenly started pulling herslef up to standing, was cruising the furniture within a week or so and in the end walked unaided at 15 months which is fine.

my point is that all babies are different and please don't worry.

I have four and they have all been so different, everything you've said sounds normal for at least one of mine. It's hard not to worry and I can only imagine it's much worse with the current situation, but honestly as others have said, your little one will probably suddenly come on leaps and bounds!

In the nicest way possible, you really are worrying over nothing. I work in a nursery and children really do develop at different times, you cannot compare them x

My little one didn't sit until 9 months, crawl until 11 months or walk until 15 months. She's now almost 3 and doing amazing and is in front of a lot of other children her age with many things. The same children that were really in front of her in the early years. It's all swings and roundabouts and they all catch up to each other eventually. I'd try not to worry until the health visitor thinks there's something to be concerned about 😊

I think you are not being unreasonable to note that he is behind on gross motor skills. Certainly, to be rolling and at least sort of sitting by now would be reasonable. HOWEVER, as others have said, he seems to be on track with other milestones and all babies do develop at different times. It doesn't sound extreme enough to be super concerned at this stage. I'd continue to keep an eye on it. Depending on when you get your next HV appointment, that is definitely the time to bring it up and hopefully, even if that is delayed it won't be delayed indefinitely.

I don't think anyone on here can help. You need to talk to a health care professional and listen to your gut. Do you think something is concerning? If so seek advice.

My daughter who is about to turn three has a type of Cerebal Palsy called Hemiplegia and I noticed it at six months, was told by everyone including drs that it was fine she was 'normal' but I persevered and eventually she had an MRI and it was confirmed at age 1. She still hit all her milestones within a 'normal' range - she never crawled but did a bum shuffle to get about, she walked at 18 months and now she rides a scooter like any other nearly three year old. Basically I am just saying everyone will have their own story of what is 'normal' and what their child did. I hate this talk about 'normal' and 'not normal' as cerebral palsy is a huge spectrum and I find it quite offensive as my child does have it. You know your baby so do what's right for you and your family.

Please don't worry, he is meeting his milestones. Please do not compare him to friends children. He can sit and weight bear for a short period, which are all very positive signs. Some children don't like rolling, but he has done it in past , he may never crawl ( that is normal). Just make the most of his current stage, once he is fully mobile you will be run off your feet trying to keep him still.

Every baby is different, ds1 walked at 9 months, ds2 did not crawl until 11 months and did not walk until 14 months. Both are absolutely fine!

I mean this in the kindest way but read less and compare less!
My ds had no teeth and couldn't walk until he was over 2 years old! He's now 16, with a great set of teeth and can run like the wind!
My sil was obsessed with milestones (including my ds's!) he was late with nearly all of his but caught up and was a bright, physically capable boy by the time he hit school age.
Please just enjoy this precious time with your ds

Please don't get worked up over this. My HV told me that it's rare a baby ticks all the boxes - there is always something.

Try not to worry. My DS didn’t crawl at all and was a late walker 14 months. But he was extremely happy and contented and he wouldn’t have swapped him for the world. Two of his little friends mums were in competition to see who was the first to crawl, walk, talk, swim, getting out of nappies, being dry through the night, learn a language, riding a bike etc etc. I must admit I did worry about DS being a little behind his peers a couple of times. The only thing DS was best/first at was sleeping through the night, being the best dressed baby and smiling. Friends mums joked about him being a fashion model or pin up.

They all catch up by the time they go to school, he is extremely bright and articulate now and did the baby things eventually in his own time. At 17 DS has an extremely bright future and has far surpassed the quick babies in our first time mums group.

Mine both stalled in some areas while other areas were developing. So eg their language development would seem to stop while they were learning to walk or whatever.

DS took a couple of steps at 11 months, I rushed out and bought him shoes, he didn't take another step for about 3 months, little bugger.

I have no idea when DD did anything cos you know, second child But I remember both of them would only concentrate on one thing at a time. Sounds like your DS is very good at the fine motor stuff, food and language, so sitting and moving will probably be next on his to do list.

DS1 was 5 weeks prem then a FTT baby. He didn't sit up safely until 10 months, didn't crawl until 14 months, didn't walk until 18 months. He also had speech therapy at 2 for delayed speech. I worried myself sick over him.

He is now in his 20s, able to sit and walk and is incredibly articulate.

Please don't upset yourself unnecessarily

We had a big boy too! 98th centile in length, head size!

He has been a bit later meeting most milestones- crawled at 10 months, walked at 17 months.

Hes a thriving six year old now, and I cant believe I worried so much.

Try and chill out, he wont be the first child (able bodied) to never learn to sit up

This all sounds very normal to me.

Both my kids were SVDs. One had weight and allergy issues, the other was a chunker.

Both took their time on their physical development. Neither crawled until 11 months. Both started walking at 15/16 months.

My eldest didn't sit unaided until 9/10 months whereas youngest was doing it at 5 months.

Every baby is different and some are a bit slower on the physical. You'll often find their speech is a bit ahead of their more physically developed peers.

Honestly, enjoy his inability to move. It gets so much harder once they can

My boy was late at pretty much everything, but then went from not moving to pretty much running overnight at 14m. Try not to worry. Give him lots of opportunities to practice, and don't compare to other people.

Thanks everyone for the replies, I hugely appreciate it.

How would I know if my baby's brain had been somehow damaged during the birth, causing cerebral palsy? He was born "in good condition" according to the hospital notes and the Apgar scores were 9 then 10, but I've just read that brain damage doesn't always become apparent until later - and that one of the signs is delayed gross motor skills.

I know I need to step away from Google as I'm working myself up into a panic. It's so hard as I feel no one will see him during the pandemic over these sorts of concerns, with Covid rates now at an all time high.

I just feel so alone

Cerebral palsy is a complex thing as I know only too well as my daughter has it. It is not only caused by traumatic birth. My daughters was caused early in pregnancy by a random cluster of cells as her drain developed. You need to stop
Googling as it's not helping you. Get another check in with your GP if they believe you have genuine reason for concern they will refer you to a paediatrician and an MRI scan.

The best thing you can do right now is to step away from Google and stop borrowing trouble.

At 7 months my dd couldn't sit up unsupported, at 8 months she could but unreliably, but by 10 months she was walking, she never crawled, didn't roll much either. 2 weeks is a long time in child development at that age!

What you are describing is not CP. if his gross motor skills were delayed due to CP you would be expressing concerns about: muscle tone, is LO either floppy or stiff? One sided or one limbed weakness, sounds like he is rolling both ways (although not much) and taking weight equally.

I am sure he will catch up and it sounds like he is doing really well in all other areas of his development