When is good to start nursery?

[BabyLlamaZen]

Does anyone know when children truly benefit from nursery? I understand some children go younger than others due to childcare and they will do well, but is there an age where it actually is better for them as opposed to just as good as being at home?

I have a 1 year old and my family are nearby for when I do the odd bit of work from home. We go for walks locally and play at home a lot. He seems fine but sometimes I worry he is bored, particularly with the lack of toddler classes. When I talk to my friends who have theirs in nursery, I wonder if he is missing out. Any thoughts?

@Parker231 as you said yourself, maternity leave tends to be longer nowadays. I have a lot of friends who are mums and not one of them has put their baby into nursery from six months. The earliest was ten months but most were a year.

@1940s - as I have mentioned maternity leave was much shorter when I had DC’s - there weren’t the options to have extensions to the statutory or contractual maternity entitlements. If you didn’t return to work when your maternity leave ended, you had to resign. Parents have much greater options now with long maternity leave , parental leave, shared leave and free nursery hours.

@1940s

I don't know any of who put a 6 month old on full time nursery - London based. Huge majority of friends put them in from 12-18 months when mat leave ended. It's not 'normal' in the UK to put them in at 6 months

Bullshit - up until 2006 maternity leave was only 18 weeks. If you've got a child over 14 you either put them in childcare (from as young as 4.5m) or you gave up work.

Child phycology suggests that children benefit being with their mother (or another carer figure) and don't particularly need other children's company until they are 3. They only really start interacting with other children at about 2. My child went to nursery when he was almost 4 and was not quite ready. He is now 5 and absolutely loves school and flourishes there. But people have different life circumstances and often need to make life choices that will not allow them to stay with their children until they are 4. Remember, children are very adaptive and accept whatever reality they have as normal

@calabaza

Child phycology suggests that children benefit being with their mother (or another carer figure) and don't particularly need other children's company until they are 3. They only really start interacting with other children at about 2. My child went to nursery when he was almost 4 and was not quite ready. He is now 5 and absolutely loves school and flourishes there. But people have different life circumstances and often need to make life choices that will not allow them to stay with their children until they are 4. Remember, children are very adaptive and accept whatever reality they have as normal

Source?

@Ohalrightthen there is no source as such but you can read Dr. Neufelds's Hold on to your kids or Dr. MacNamara's Rest, Play, Grow. There is nothing bad about nurseries but let's not mistake them for what they are not - a stable home environment with a protective parent who is fully focused on child's needs. Something that is fundamentally important in very young, formative years.

Are those attachment parenting books?

@Parker231

Are those attachment parenting books?

You don't have to be an attachment parent to say it's preferable for a young child to be at home rather than in a nursery. Just because it's a decent alternative doesn't mean it's the better choice for the child

@Parker231 they are indeed. Vygotsky who is a very famous child phycologist (and author of the proximal development concept) also believed that child is ready to separate themselves from the mother psychologically by the age of 3.

As others have said we all make different parenting decisions - if the children are loved and happy, it’s the right decision.

As I have said previously my DT’s are now 21 so I have the advantage of having been through the early years and can see the results.

@Parker231 I believe I never judged those who make different choices. We are all different

Psychology/psychologist not phycology/phycologist obviously

@Parker231

As others have said we all make different parenting decisions - if the children are loved and happy, it’s the right decision. As I have said previously my DT’s are now 21 so I have the advantage of having been through the early years and can see the results.

You can't say if a child is loved and happy as a blanket measure of a 'right decision' my child would probably be happy (and is loved of course) by being fed chips every day, chocolate for breakfast, sat in the front seat of the car to look out forward facing etc. If a child is truly happier (and nobody could ever know regardless) in a nursery setting rather than at home below the age of 2/3 then it's the parenting and home life that needs improvement. Whilst it's a very necessary thing for some parents to send young children to nursery, nobody can truthfully and authentically argue that nursery for a child less than one is better than being with the parents from an emotional perspective

My DC’s would have been stuck without nursery - we’re a OPOL family and neither of our home languages are English. They learnt English at nursery although were still not great at it by the time they started school.

There is no right answer, i think you will know in your heart when it's the right time. Obviously if you have no choice, they go when they go and you all make the best of it, but if it's a choice you will just know.

My DS was 3, I wouldn't have sent him had he not be starting school in sept, as he got everything he needed outside of a nursery setting, but I felt he needed to be used to being without me before school. (I wish he could have been at home another year though )