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Original poster

Potty training - persevere or not?

37 replies

Hardbackwriter · 27/10/2020 18:29

DS is 2y4m and we started potty training on Saturday. Sunday and yesterday he had not a single accident and was taking himself off to the potty to both wee and poo BUT this was while naked from the waist down. Today we put loose trousers but no pants on and every time has been an accident - he hasn't successfully used the potty or told us he needs to once - and he's also increasingly angry about being asked if he needs the potty. I thought he was making amazing progress but now I'm wondering if he's not ready and so we should stop - I don't want to upset him? I've been told by multiple people that we should just wait until 3/3.5/nearer 4 (which seems a bit risky to me, he will go to school when he's just turned 4!) as it'll be so much easier then so I was already doubting myself a bit on whether he really was as ready as I thought he was. Am I being silly to push it at this point?

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Diverseduvet · 27/10/2020 18:33

It sounds like he got the hang of it, I wouldn't stop. Can't he hang out at home in pants which you show him how to pull up and down when he doesn't need to go?

Mmmmdanone · 27/10/2020 18:35

I would leave it personally. I tried too early and regretted and started again a few months later. It was much easier!

Original poster

Hardbackwriter · 27/10/2020 18:36

Do you think pants would be better than trousers? I'd read that pants feel more like nappies to them because they're tighter which is why we tried just loose trousers first. He definitely can pull his trousers down - we practiced - but he didn't try at any point today, just wet himself and then got upset about it.

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Thatwentbadly · 27/10/2020 18:39

Just go back to being naked again for a little bit. The oh crap method suggests you may need to be naked at home for quiet a while but still be able to manage clothes for short trips out.

Busydrinkingcoffee1 · 27/10/2020 18:43

This happened with my DS. We tried naked again but the second we went back to putting anything on (just pants or trousers) he would have accidents all day. We stopped and tried again only 2 months later, this time he got it straight away. Maybe your DS isn't quite ready yet?

Nightclub123 · 27/10/2020 18:45

This happened with us when using the Oh Crap method with DS at 23 months. Just persevered. It took 10 days to be reasonably sure of no accidents but then was fine.

FizzingWhizzbee123 · 27/10/2020 18:45

I’d give him a few more days bare bum at home before making a decision, as he’s done so well on the first two days.

Original poster

Hardbackwriter · 27/10/2020 18:52

Hmm, the advice is as mixed as I feel! He's at nursery on Thursday so he can't be naked there...

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violetclouds · 27/10/2020 18:54

@Hardbackwriter we started potty training our 2year4 month old daughter last Sunday following the oh crap method.
So block 1 is essentially what you're describing with being naked from waist down, we did this 2 days then tried a day with trousers (no pants) which is block 2 but she went from zero accidents to 3 in a day so the book said to go back to block 1 for a day or 2 longer.
So day 5 we went for trousers & no accidents!
Day 6 - we left house & had 1 accident
Day 7 - no accidents at home all day
Day 8 - nursery, 1 accident, 3 wees then zero accidents at home in afternoon
Day 9 (today) - zero accidents

We shall see what tomorrow holds 😂
I think you should carry on but don't rush to get clothes on especially pants it feels too much like a nappy

Good luck!

Original poster

Hardbackwriter · 27/10/2020 18:54

@Nightclub123

This happened with us when using the Oh Crap method with DS at 23 months. Just persevered. It took 10 days to be reasonably sure of no accidents but then was fine.

What did you find happened - did he start telling you he needed to go or did he start pulling his own trousers down to go on the potty?

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Original poster

Hardbackwriter · 27/10/2020 18:55

Being naked is also so restrictive at this time of year - it's not just that we can't go out, it's that he can't go in the garden, either.

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violetclouds · 27/10/2020 18:55

Just to add I kept her off nursery on day 2!

Original poster

Hardbackwriter · 28/10/2020 10:06

Hmm, another incident this morning where he just wee-d in his PJs five minutes after being asked if he needed the potty. I think we should just give up but a little part of me is reluctant to waste five days of effort when there did seem to be progress and he was so proud of himself for weeing and pooing in the potty, especially since we both work four days a week and so there won't be another opportunity to try for a few months and I'm gloomily imagining a future of wasting more holidays trying and failing to potty train!

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ivftake1 · 28/10/2020 10:11

@Thatwentbadly

Just go back to being naked again for a little bit. The oh crap method suggests you may need to be naked at home for quiet a while but still be able to manage clothes for short trips out.

This this this!

Original poster

Hardbackwriter · 28/10/2020 10:35

If you did that what would you do tomorrow - just put him in a nappy for nursery and then go back to bare bum at home on Friday?

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ivftake1 · 28/10/2020 11:00

@Hardbackwriter

If you did that what would you do tomorrow - just put him in a nappy for nursery and then go back to bare bum at home on Friday?

Only my opinion, but I would have to take the week off and keep him at home to get it sorted. I know someone who did a half and half approach and it just prolonged the agony

FizzingWhizzbee123 · 28/10/2020 11:35

Accidents will happen. I’d send him commando for nursery if you can’t keep him home, then bare butt again over the weekend. We did 5 solid days at home bare butt, then commando at nursery and bare butt when home for another week or so. I know it’s mixing the blocks a bit but it was fine, better than mixing nappies back in. It takes patience and a bit of time. Honestly think he sounds ready to me, especially if he’s proud of himself. It doesn’t always happen within a week. If he’s mostly doing well, with some accidents, I’d keep pushing through. If he’s having tons of accidents and it starts upsetting him, then I’d stop.

Nightclub123 · 28/10/2020 12:29

I just didn't go out for a good few days. Saw it as a short term pain/long term gain thing. Then, as per Oh Crap, we did trips out purely for the purpose of going to the toilet and home again!
I kept an eye out for his 'tell' and still do a mixture of this/him telling me now (2.5 years). He still needs help pulling his trousers down.

Original poster

Hardbackwriter · 28/10/2020 12:38

Thanks. So, we could stay home tomorrow but it would mean DH and I cancelling our first plans to do something just us of 2020 (and I think our third meal out just us since DS was born) - and if we do that and then we still decide that potty training isn't working and give it a while we will be so gutted, so it feels like it just puts on a lot of pressure... He will have to go to nursery on Monday whatever happens as we're both back at work then. He's bare bum again now so we'll see how that goes.

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ivftake1 · 28/10/2020 12:58

@Nightclub123

I just didn't go out for a good few days. Saw it as a short term pain/long term gain thing. Then, as per Oh Crap, we did trips out purely for the purpose of going to the toilet and home again! I kept an eye out for his 'tell' and still do a mixture of this/him telling me now (2.5 years). He still needs help pulling his trousers down.

I did exactly this. It's so so so worth dealing with it properly once, rather than chop change for months

Original poster

Hardbackwriter · 28/10/2020 16:16

He's now having accidents rather than trying to use the potty even when naked - feel like we've messed this up! Will give up and try again in the hope he's not quite ready yet but will be. I guess we'll have to try again at Christmas, what a lovely season of goodwill that will be...

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Aria999 · 29/10/2020 00:43

Not your fault, potty training is a minefield. Our nursery wouldn't let him out of diapers because he refused to go to the toilet if wearing a pull up. Once he got to preschool (aged nearly 4) peer pressure kicked in and he's been mostly ok since but still not totally. Whatever you do don't turn it into a battle of wills. You can't win that.

Rubyroost · 29/10/2020 10:03

@Hardbackwriter it doesn't have to be stressful. You don't have to do the o crap method. We tried it and it didn't work for us. We hated it as didn't want to sit in the same place day after day with no underpants on! Despite what you read we trained in pull ups and then went to normal pants. We have had quite a few stops and starts when I realised my little one wasn't ready. He was weeing 20 times a day and it was just too much. So we started in July and then stopped, tried again in August and stopped and then end of September and he's been dry for over two weeks, he also pooh trained before wee trained. Hes almost dry at night too. I wake him before I got to bed at 11. 30/12 and put him on potty otherwise he wakes us to go at silly I clock! Seriously, don't feel pressured and don't feel you have to do the o crap method. It's not for everyone.

Rubyroost · 29/10/2020 10:04

He's now 2 years and 9 months btw and was 2.5 when we first tried

Original poster

Hardbackwriter · 29/10/2020 19:49

Thanks - lots of people have told me that if they're really ready it isn't stressful so hope that's true and he's not quite there yet! As it happens I'm incredibly glad that we decided to go back to nappies because when I picked him up from nursery they said he'd done two 'loose' poos and they were debating whether to call me so sending him in trousers and no pants could have been a real horror show! I got (stupidly) a bit upset about it when we decided to stop yesterday but I've given my head a wobble over it - it's no biggie, we'll give it another go in a while. Part of me would love to have him out of nappies before DC2 arrives in Feb, but then I also wonder whether it's actually easier to do two sets of nappies than to have a newborn and a child who can't wait to be taken to the loo...

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