How often do you let your toddler play independently?

[gchali]

Sometimes I just don't have the energy to be constantly playing so I let toddler DS play independently with me in the room supervising. I often feel quite guilty about this though and wonder if it's just me being a rubbish parent

I think it is a great skill for your child to learn to entertain themselves and play independently. You do not have to constantly entertain your child.

I do it all the time for my sanity. I sit on a chair and supervise. It's impossible to have the same amount of energy as them 24/7. I wouldn't feel bad about it. I actually think it's a great thing that your child is comfortable playing on their own. Some kids literally won't do it x

All the time! It’s a brilliant skill for them to learn. My DS will spent 1-2 hours playing with his wooden trains on a good day, just requiring my occasional verbal response to various stories. If the child isn’t actively seeking interaction and just being ignored all the time (which is something different), then let them crack on! Don’t feel guilty, put your feet up.

All the time. Ds2 will not let me join in. He likes to do his own thing

Let me guess, you only have 1 dc? You're not a rubbish parent. You just have other things to do sometimes. You can't revolve every waking second around your ds. That would be silly, unwise and unhelpful for him. My dd3 gets left to it most of the time. I'm sure with dd1 I had more time to sit around and play with her, but by no means did I do it ALL the time!

A lot. DD is 11m but walking and communicating, she plays alone for probably total 3 or 4 hours a day, up to an hour at a time? She's never in a room by herself, and I'm always watching, but unless she wants to be read to, or someone to build a tower of blocks to knock down, she's very happy to potter about solo.

DS is good at playing independently and often he doesn't seem interested in us joining in but I still feel guilty leaving him to his own devices and worry that I'm not doing enough with him

80% of the time maybe with the rest being reading stories, puzzles/board games or craft type activities like baking together or play dough. I don’t play with toys or do any imaginary games.

I also often feel like I'm rubbish at pretend play it's not my favourite thing to do

Don't feel guilty about it. Like others have said, it's best to have a balance and there are times when you need to be doing something else, especially when you have more than one DC.

What do you mean by “let”? I wouldn’t ever stop him if that’s what he wanted to do. Mine is pretty good at occupying himself but I didn’t do anything that I’m aware of that made him that way, he just does it

@Sitt It was probably crap wording on my part, I just meant how often does your toddler play alone

Pretend play is dull. I spent 20 mins on the “phone” today, calling various people dictated by my toddler, to tell them he’s been a good boy 🤷🏼‍♀️

Honestly, it’s fine. Someone once said to me “you’re a parent, not an entertainment system”. We are there to raise them properly, not keep them entertained 24/7.

So many kids these days can’t cope with being bored and don’t know what to do without resorting to screens. Their hours are packed with classes and activities and parents wheeling out constant activities. It’s not necessary all the time. Free play is SO important for the toddler phase, they learn so much through experimenting by themselves. Stuff we take for granted (stacking, gravity, size etc) are all concepts they are learning through free play. Honestly, this is a life skill you are allowing to develop, not bad parenting.

Mine sometimes wants to play alone and sometimes insists that I join in.

It’s a very handy skill for them to have, especially if you’re planning a sibling.

Oh I'm awful at pretend play too. I'm sure my eldest didn't even know it was a thing until she started nursery age 3 . My younger ones are great at it though as they learnt from the older ones.

As often as I can get away with before being summoned to pretend to be a shop keeper or having to construct another train track or needed to roll out more play doh.

I hate pretend play too. Generally if my DD is happy to play alone I let her. Sometimes she asks me to play and I’m in the middle of something so I have to say no, but I try and say yes at least once a day.

I honestly think it’s about quality of time together, not quantity. She gets a cuddle and a chat in the morning, undivided attention at bath time, plenty of bedtime stories, and me or DH sit with her while she falls asleep. Meals are together. On days when I’m not working we have a daily walk/outing, do some sort of craft, puzzle or game together, a cuddle in front of the TV after lunch, and I play with her for half an hour to an hour. The rest of the time I potter on with housework or sit with a cuppa while she plays. Mine is 3.5 now so not always in the same room, but I used to encourage her to do something wherever I needed to be when she was younger.

Don’t feel bad, I think it’s an important skill for children to be able to entertain themselves. Plus adults generally aren’t great at imaginative play. They do that far better on their own.

My DD is 14 months old and will play independently, but only for about 20 mins at a time a few times a day. I follow her lead, she let's me know when she wants me to join in by bringing (or throwing!) books, bricks, balls etc over.
Shes at the stage where she likes role play type games so we naturally have alot of interaction. Its completely healthy for kids to play on their own and it should be encouraged.

I’ll let him play independently for as long as he’ll do it! Some days he’ll spend an hour or two over the course of the day on his own (not actually alone obviously), some days it’ll be zero.

I let my 6 month old baby play independently

For as long as she's happy to do it!

I will often start her off and then withdraw - that gets better results. She is also much happier to play alone in the kitchen while I'm busy in there (she has a little play kitchen). In the sitting room she tends to want me involved a bit more, but it ebbs and flows.

I don't think I ever "played" with my DS, I would read to him and occasionally, when he was old enough, played UNO or board games but I loathed "creative play" ... I remember watching my SIL building rail tracks with her DS and thinking that would bore me senseless. We would go out to the park, walks etc but I never just "played" with him. Didn't seem to do him any harm, now 19 and at Uni .

I played all the time with my first son, but my second one I maybe play for 10mins to get him started then leave him to it, it also helps that DS1 and DS2 have each other to play with so I’m not needed as much.

Most of the time she is home after nursery. I'll be busy doing dinner or whatever.

We have a little play together before bedz then she plays upstairs in her room before she goes to sleep.

I think its so important kids learn how to entertain themselves, they shouldn't be kept entertained 24/7 in my opinion

Is this a thing playing with your toddler constantly? My son was more than happy to play alone.