How often do you let your toddler play independently?

[gchali]

Sometimes I just don't have the energy to be constantly playing so I let toddler DS play independently with me in the room supervising. I often feel quite guilty about this though and wonder if it's just me being a rubbish parent

My son is 15 months and plays independently daily. I'm in the room. We have lots of play time together but when I want to sit down and have a cup of tea he will play by himself. Don't feel bad about it. It's a good skill.

I let my toddler play independently all the time , especially when I’m cleaning and making dinner . He is 20 months and has a great attention span . I didn’t know that was a bad thing to do 😳!

I will add that my DS is also in nursery 3 mornings a week getting lots of interaction , at home we do arts and crafts together, sensory bin play and we read lots . He plays football and is in swimming class . On weekends we go out a ton too so he is definitely getting lots of attention from my husband and I and others .

This is so reassuring! DS is 2.5 and only started independent play in lockdown (when he was about 22 months). Before that he demanded so much attention but is getting better and better at doing his own thing. I’ve felt guilty at times about leaving him to it as so used to engaging with him constantly, but this has made me feel much better!

When my eldest was a toddler I was heavily pregnant with my youngest so a lot of the time I couldn't get up off the settee!

When my youngest was a toddler both children played together and I mostly just left them to it (obviously under supervision; I didn't just bugger off to bed!)

You really don't need to play with them constantly or else how are they going to learn how to entertain themselves and discover their own interests? Also, how are you going to get your own stuff done or even just sit down and gather your thoughts? You matter as well don't forget!

I don’t know how much of the “how will they learn to do it themselves” thing is true - I left my now 2.5yo to it from whatever age because he was happy. If he hadn’t been, I would have gone to him and helped him along with toys. For example I set up train tracks (with him, he asks me to join in) and then he will play for ages alone. Is this me “providing entertainment”? I think so much of it is personality driven and also different levels of parental expectation about what “playing independently” means

DS 18m has a terrible attention span and honestly lockdown when DH was at home didn’t help as he was excited about spending time with him, so he got a lot of attention!
He’s definitely getting better and I only interfere or get involved if he comes to get me. Otherwise i potter around or have a brew.
Unless it’s megabloks. I’ll continue to play with them long after DS has lost interest!

It might just be me, but I 3 year old me would find it really odd if my grown up parents wanted to play with me all the time. I have great memories of pre school childhood baking bread and going for walks, and in between that watching Disney movies or cartoons and playing with my toys alone.

I don't know where the expectation that parents should play with their children every waking hour has come from. Kids benefit from interacting with you it course, but you should not be interrupting constantly the importance of independent play. How on earth would they ever learn to do anything?

My 3 and 5 year old are playing in the next room now as we have just finished lunch. They're having a whale of a time. Let them play OP :) if they want or need you they will let you know

My 2 year old is awful at independent play! I've tried encouraging it in so many ways, but she just doesn't like it. I'm 29 weeks pregnant and could really do with her playing independently, but she just isn't interested. Run out of ideas for trying to encourage her.

Most people do quite a lot, op. It's normal.

It's a good thing - don't feel guilty !

My 22 month old won't play alone for long unless the tele is on too

To be honest I do okay with him a lot, I feel bad leaving him alone too much.

We read books, play with cars endlessly, but really we watxh too much cbeebies too.

I always hope that balances it

I wonder if parents put too much pressure on themselves to entertain children now. I’m pretty sure that in the “old days” kids were left to their own devices a lot more!

My just turned one year old has played independently since mobile. Of course we don’t ignore them but they are happy doing their own thing and I think we just get in the way sometimes. I do feel bad but if we try and join in they’re off playing with something else.

As often as possible 😂

She was/still can be a very clingy child so when the mood takes her I just run with it. I've found the more she does it, the more she wants to do it... Of that makes sense.

Shes nearly 3 now so her imagination is really kicking in and I think that is helping as she'll get her toys out to play a game with her etc.

I do it whenever I can tbh. If he stops trying to pull my phone and my trying to distract him with something else, that is.. the rare times he entertains himself without his inadvertently destroying property, I give thanks to the universe lol..