Can those of you whose children have a small age gap between them help me out here....

[DANCESwithHughJackman]

I have a friend who has two close together (youngest is only a few months) Mine have 19months between them. I can barely remember the first year. I was very, very, very tired. My house was a tip. I remember tea time being an absolute nightmare. Shopping was impossible. Please can you add to my list of horrors to reassure her that she is doing brilliantly just to get through the day. Thanks!

You can't give one calpol without the other one wanting some and screaming if they don't get it.
When you are changing nappies the older one thinks it is funny to steal the wipes/nappy/cream and lob it over the safety gate.
The older one will get in a crafty swipe at the youngest when you least expect it.
The older one will not go in the pushchair and will be able to escape halfway down the road.
There are loads.....

Ah yes calpol, still have that now and they are 2 1/2 and 4yrs. Also the helpful picking up of nappies that you hadn't quite finished wrapping up ....eugh...

I've got 19 months between my first two and a week under 2 years between the next two. Falling asleep on the sofa in the middle of reading a story and being prodded awake is a vivid memory!! The pay-off is great though - once my youngest dd hit about 18m they played together constantly and still get on really well together aged 10 and (almost) 9.

Oh yes, mine get on really well now and are great playmates. BUT I'm talking about the first year. When you're there you appreciate but don't really give a fig about what it will be like in a few years, you need reassurance that everyone else struggled in that first year!

15months between mine. Always seemed that they used to take turns in screaming at me!! If one stopped the other started.

I have 18m between DS1 & 2 and 23m between DS2 and DD. where to start........
When bath time reduces everyone including me to tears
when they all poo at the same time, or worse one after the other so you just finish changing one and the next fills their nappy etc... and you are trying to get out to a toddler group, or Sainsbury's are at the door, and the eldest is screaming 'finished come and wipe my bum'.....
When the older 2 use breastfeeding time as a means of beating each other up knowing I can't get them on the naughty step...
When you finally get the baby to sleep a bit at night and the older one develops a raging temperature/ bad cough/ sickness bug etc
When DS2 bounces the bouncy chair a bit too much and of course the baby isn't stapped in- who has time- and she 'gently' slides to the floor.
Taking 5 hours to cook a meal
Being perpetually late for everything
Never ever having anyones naps co-incide.
But hey there are lots of plus points too.....

Eek, is now the time to say I didn't find it that stressful?! Just having ds1 was the most stressful time because I didn't have a clue what I was doing. Ds2 and ds3 were a doddle - even though I had toddlers.

I have 19m between ds1 and ds2 and 21 months between ds2 and ds3.

The only thing I can really remember is the tea/milk/bathtime bit being a bit tricky but you soon work it out!

Yes that was very helpful in reassuring my friend who is finding it tough gobbledispook...

13 months Yikes!

Mine are thirteen months apart too. They are 1.7 and 2.8, so still tiny and still hard work but not as hard as when the youngest was first born. They play together now, and plot together!

i loved those days - 4 in 4 years

I don't remember huge chunks of it ad sleep was something I missed out on (making up for it now, get great delight in waking teens hehe)

Realy remember the morning I washed up 14 bottles from the night before

I was a smug mother with DD...extended breastfeeding, home-made purees, reading every day, elaborate crafts, never lost my temper etc. When DS arrived I felt like the worst mother ever, from about Day 3 until at least 6 months. He's 9 months now and things are much better, but there has been many a day when I would weep the moment my DH came through the door, dump one or both on him, and shut myself in the loo for 15 minutes to just...breathe.

There were many times when they were both crying and I joined in too. I didn't have PND but I really, really struggled with sleep deprivation and not living up to my own expectations.

Life is still messy, loud, chaotic and completely disorganised but very, very happy. I found things easier once DS was starting to wean and strangely, when I went back to work part-time. But just getting a bit more sleep (it will happen one day tell her) will probably work wonders for your friend. I hope things get better for her soon.

I have 19 months between mine. The first year was hell. Potty training and getting ds into a bed from a cot while dealing with horrendous sleep deprivation and breastfeeding dd (who NEVER took a bottle). However, now they are 2 and 3.5 and it is so much easier. They do fight but they also play together a lot and entertain each other. I am considering having a third but the memory of that year really puts me off. So yes she is doing well just to get through each day!

I have 18 months between DD1 and DS2 then 25 months between him and next DD then 20 months between her and DS. I loved the early years and I have to add that the worse pairing is my DS & DD with the largest age gap (25 months) they were horrible to each other and they still niggle each other now 8 years later.

I really loved having the first 2 close together, in the early months we didnt have any playgroups to worry us althought we did potter along to toddler groups if we felt like it. BUT my DS1 was such an easy baby, no trouble at all Still is now (he's 10 )

My advice to your friend is to take each day as it comes and if everyone gets dressed, fed, washed and has a bit of fun then its a success, if you manage any housework (even putting some washing in) or an outing you are a blardy wonderful mum If you manage shopping you are superwoman! Enjoy it, soon they will be 12yo and cheeky

oooh, that firt year is a distant -nightmare- memory (dcs now 12 & 13). Reassure your friend that it all does get better!

that was supposed to be nightmare

I have 11 months between dd2 and ds1 must have blacked it all out, can't remember much.

I have DCs aged 3, 4 & 5. I don't think you realise just how tired you are until the fog lifts. I sometimes wonder how I didn't kill the entire family whilst driving the car.

I was short-tempered and weepy. I stopped ironing entirely, only sporadically changed the beds (although wetting, sick & reflux ensured it was quite regular for the DCs at least). Having cleaners in once a week didn't cure the 'crunchy' kitchen floor for very long.

And the calm, rational woman that wanted to explain behaviour issues to her DCs nicely, turned into a screaming banshee. And never completely went away.

But now I have 2 at school and 1 at pre-school, the house looks OK and most of the time they get on brilliantly. In fact life is so wonderful that I'm pregnant with no. 4...!

13 months between mine and just getting them from one room to another wwas a nightmare. eldest didn't pull her self to standing till she was 14 months and didn't walk till she was 19 1/2months.

Bathing was an impossibility on my own unless you did one one day and the other the next.

If I shopped then one of them screamed.

I always felt everyone was looking at me and thinking I a useless mum or a stupid one for having two so close together.

Now that their 4.9 and 3.7 its wht their getting upto while your back is turned.

Anyone who is a mum to two close together deserve a medal.

ds1 is 2 and ds2 is 1.... make sense? LOL Anyhoo....

eldest has to have what youngest has got

eldest pinches/bites/scratches youngest at any oppertunity & yougest milks it a bit

eldest says 'Bubba dooooo' whenever he is naughty

both want to be picked up, together

eldest reverts back to being a baby

both want mummy all the time, no one else will do

if one cries, they both cry

eldest removes his and his bros nappy whenever he can

eldest always wants to sit in whichever seat in the buggy you put youngest

just get youngest down for a kip and eldest screams or runs upstairs looking for him

having youngest attached to my leg whilst trying to do dinner and 'tother one 'helping'

shopping

housework

endless putting away/tidying (2 lit'luns can decimate a lounge in seconds - i thought one was bad)

kids trying to ride dogs around the house

one child running off and you know you have to give chase but what to do with the other one??!!

docs waiting rooms - nightmare

Lots more but lots and lots of good stuff though, i really enjoy it!

Another 12month 3week gap here, between DS1 and DS2, but a whole 15 months between DS2 and DD. I was a wee bit busier then.

Agree with Mrs Weasley, if you can get everyone clean, fed and have some fun before bedtime you are doing well. Didn't put myself under pressure to go out, although oddly did manage to take them all swimming every week with a very lovely and helpful friend. Also have a fab DH who cooked dinner and shopped in between the tesco deliveries. When i look at photos of that time, the house looks blardy awful, toys heaped everywhere!

Mine are 14 months apart.The house is constantly a tip, I only go to the toilet on my own at the weekends when dh is around, I have knocked my pelvis out of shape from carrying dd1 whilst heavily pregnant with dd2, I hate having to ignore one whilst the other is screaming place down - however on the other hand my eldest loves to help change youngests nappies, which usually involves taking all nappy bags out, emptying an entire pack of baby wipes, which she drops on dd2 whilst shouting "poo poo" and then she looks so proud of herself and gives her sister a kiss - I have tons of moments like this every day, and feel very very lucky.