Can those of you whose children have a small age gap between them help me out here....

[DANCESwithHughJackman]

I have a friend who has two close together (youngest is only a few months) Mine have 19months between them. I can barely remember the first year. I was very, very, very tired. My house was a tip. I remember tea time being an absolute nightmare. Shopping was impossible. Please can you add to my list of horrors to reassure her that she is doing brilliantly just to get through the day. Thanks!

2.2 months between mine so not that small a gap but I still found it tough.

*Eldest reverts to a baby
*when I get in from work eldest rushes over for a cuddle while elbowing DS out of the way, he then retaliates(sp) by hitting her on the head so I end up with 2 children crying and I havent even taken my coat off.

• They both want to eat each others food
• Both fight over the same toys *finally getting the youngest to sleep after 20 mins of patting and shhing to get DD run in shouting I need a poo *The night when the youngest slept through and the oldest one would wake.

I would say it only after DS reached about 9 months old that I finally started to feel human again and not likely to fly off the handle and small things. There was many a day when I joined them both in crying due to sheer tiredness.

My twins were 15 months when I had my daughter. God I don't know how I did it.

The twins are now 4 and dd almost 3 I can't tell you how much easier it is.

We went away for a weekend recently with just 2 holdalls, dp and I were soooooo excited. We checked the house before leaving 3 times thinking we'd forgotten something-we hadn't. They even get in their own carseats now!!!!!!!

We had 18 month twins staying with us recently, very well behaved but even so dp and I were saying just how did we do it!!!! Have to say the last 4 years have hurtled by in a blur, seem to have spent a lot of it either in tears, manically laughing or slightly drunk but now look back with a lot of nostalgia.

there is 13m between my first two and 18m between no's 2 and 3.
im alive.
and sometimes, reasonably sane.
thats pretty good going imo.

theres great swathes of the last few years i dont remember. its probably a good thing on the whole

you cant have a poo alone

Thank you all! I'm going to send the link of this thread to my friend now. I'd like to emphasise, I'm absolutely positive she is doing a brilliant job (don't get to see her as she has inconsiderately moved very far away ) but I just wanted her to know that she and I aren't the only one to find it tough at the beginning of having a new baby and toddler in tow.

18 months between my two and on the whole it's great I love it

younger one thinks she is the age of the older one now and gets very frustrated and screams if she can do something, older one gets frustrated that younger one can't join in her games

I wanted a small gap between 2 and 3 but still not pregnant so will have at least 2 1/2 years this time

I'm another with two years blurred out. I have a 16mth gap. It was exhausting, and my marriage suffered terribly as one outcome (the big lesson there is TALK TO EACH OTHER!!!). However I had very little "classic" sibling rivalry, mostly I remember dd (the younger one) getting at ds - lots of hair pulling! And much screaming in the later years (they generally took turns at who would be the awfulest). However I did cheat, in that I went back to work full time when dd was three months old, so it was our lovely nanny who did most of the work. She had just come from a family of five, including one with ASD, and managed our two brilliantly. Once they were throguh the baby stage and dd was at about the same developmental point as ds then it was great, and has remained so (they are still pretty badly behaved together at times, but also can be fantastic). The other thing that made life easier was to encourage independance at all times, actively be lazy and not to worry too much. We lived in a completely baby/toddler proofed environment (ground floor flat) so I could relax so long as the sounds I could hear weren't too ominous

custenstein Oh yes I forgot that, mind you mine are now 6, 8, 10 & 12 years old and I still dont get to visit the little room without someone wanting to come with me or talking to me through the door (with my foot wedged against it!)

True, mine are 14 and nearly 18 still can't shit in peace!

A quick update to those who posted. I sent the link to my friend last night and had a fantastic email back from her this morning saying how much she loved it and asking me to thank you all for your contributions. THANKS FELLOW MNETTERS

i've 14months between mine. youngest is now almost 8months.

my worst thing in the beginning was always having to have one with me constantly for fear of something happening. taking DS1 to toilet with me was a good thing though as it turned into a good way of introducing potty training! i lvoed my small age gap though as it means that DS1 is still having a daytime nap and if i time it right they'll both sleep at the same time, meaning that i can get my head down too.

my DF wrestles with DS1 and it's quite rough.....it;s WWE stuff that my DF is fanatic about, now DS1 is 2 he's started trying out moves on DS2....nightmare!

cpnstantly feel like it's a never ending cycle in my day, the monotony is so boring, i find i have the best days when i've been to mums and tots groups. i've only managed to find 2, only need another 3 and i'll have a perfect week!

Just read ladyoftheflowers post. Yep, all of those, lol, except there is no dog to ride around the house on.