Taking baby to restaurants - when does it get easier?

[atvh]

As the title says really! My four month old is a wonderful little boy, but I find it so stressful taking him out to eat. We’ve just got back from Sunday lunch at the pub. We took him out just as he was due a nap (perfect timing you’d have thought!) He fell asleep in the pram on the half-hour walk there, then almost as soon as we took our seats at the pub (which was nearly empty and not noisy at all) he woke up and was wide awake for almost all the meal.

He seems to cry a lot more when we’re out compared to when he’s at home for some reason. We take toys to distract him which works to a point, and DH sometimes puts him in the sling if he’s really crying, which does help him fall asleep but also means that DH struggles to eat (as soon as he sits down DS wakes up again!)

Is this normal for 4 months or are we just unlucky? And when does it get easier to take babies or young children out for meals? Part of me just thinks I’d rather stay home until he’s older and avoid the stress if I’m honest!

Yes it's gets better when they are about 13, at least they are quiet when they are sulking because you've had to tell them to put their phones away

I loved going out around 2 months but then the pandemic happened 🤷‍♀️ seems to be part and parcel of having kids I'm afraid!

Ours was ok for a couple of months once she could sit independently so was content to graze and people watch (5-10 months). Once they’re on the move it’s just not worth the hassle.

When we absolutely have to go out to eat now with our almost two year old, I am that terrible parent who brings an iPad pre loaded with animated stories and uses that as a sit still bribe. Buys us about 45 minutes if we’re lucky, and lots of judgy looks.

It's better at about 5 years! He will sit and do the puzzles and colouring now.

Will get harder before it improves.

We only go to places where for example we can sit outside & they have a garden DD can potter about in, or places that are pretty quick with the food so we’re not there too long.

I was going to say I still don’t like eating out with the 7 yo and 11 yo with or without the phone isn’t too fun either!

4 months is when it started to get easier as my son could sit in a highchair with toys. From 6 months it was a breeze as he was eating, it has been easier and easier ever since, now at almost 3 he is a delight to take out for a meal.

Depends on the child op. I'v taken all mine out to a restaurant at least once a week from a very young age, they behave very well. My youngest has started sitting in a high chair and joining in and id say that is easier than pre 6 months.

I found at 6 months when I started weaning it got easier, I timed her food for when we were out. Fed her the veg sticks crisps (baby section of supermarket), which for a one off of a nice lunch, kept her busy.
Now she's 1 and eats a meal so even easier now. It means we eat our meals early but I don't mind for a bit of peace! Can't say for older, I'm imagining it getting harder again as she's starting to not want to sit still.

Oldest DS (now nearly 12) has always reliably been able to go for meals even when I used to meet friends for tea and didn't have a babysitter.

Youngest DS we take but he has a shorter attention span so we go prepared with his favourite crisps, he loves getting a drink whilst out for tea and is relatively happy if he has a highchair and can see what's going on... Occasionally one of us takes him for a walk to the toilet, for a look outside just to break it up a bit (he is 17 months now)

I thought I’d do more of a recent update after taking my 4 and 1yo out yesterday (so not something filled with rose tinted glasses). 4yo was perfect. Helps that she’s recently got into colouring and other than a pretend wee to have an extra walk was genuinely nice company. The 18m old did well for 1h40 but then lost her shit and needed to be taken out. Not bad given we haven’t been to a restaurant for 6m. The younger one is a thrower which makes things slightly more challenging as we couldn’t rely on the sorts of toys we did with our first. We’ll need to sus something out because that will be the biggest risk taking her out.

@Sailingblue but 1h40 is excellent. I’d say that whilst I enjoy taking ours out for lunch/dinner, there is a definite time limit and it’s somewhere between 60-90 minutes. This is mitigated by the restaurant choice, somewhere family friendly, with short waiting times, often near the beginning of service. We wouldn’t pick somewhere already rammed (unless it was visible that almost everyone had food), and we would enquire about the wait time. As long as you’re not expecting to do fine dining with small children it’s actually quite fun!

Depends on the kid. My niece was a happy little thing in her high chair doing colouring, my ds just about could manage a quick meal at age 4 with many threats and bribes!
Hes ok now at 6 but I have to bring the iPad if I know it's going to be particularly leisurely. ( frowned upon on mn , kids should be enjoying 6 course dinners from the age of 1 )

As others have said it's really hard till about three years old when they can be entertained for longer periods with comics etc - before that you've either got the risk of them crying (under 1) or when mobile not wanting to sit still for more than ten minutes- that's why the family friendly play barn type restaurants are popular with young families in that you can take them for a run around while waiting for their meals .

Definitely getting a babysitter for my small one then. Ours is 3 months and is fine now but this js a glimpse into a future I'm afraid to be a part of 😢

I'd say around 4.

For us aged between 1.5 and around 2.5 was the worst for restaurants in terms of not wanting to sit at the table and being quite annoying/noisy. At around aged 3 they became much more delightful dining companions. Although they still have their moments!

When they're 5

You’ve got it relatively easy at 4 Months I’m afraid. Like others I can confirm that it only gets worse!

I wish we could just stay home, but DH thinks it’s important to get baby used to these environments. Does it really make any difference at 4 months though? confused

So it’s your husband who is so keen to get your small baby used to restaurants ? In that case it’s important that HE is the one sitting with a squirming baby on his lap trying to eat his lukewarm food with one hand. Not sitting enjoying his hot meal looking at you disapprovingly while you deal with baby PLUS the annoyed looks of other diners, who have paid to enjoy their meal, not witness a baby training session.

Otherwise it’s just a stressful chore hated by you and baby , done for your husbands benefit. How strange that Your Husband isn’t on MN asking for advice, when he’s the one who wants it so much.

It’s easy to have great aspirations / ideals / principles about things while someone else does the work . Like all the men who don’t believe in childcare but won’t give up their work to care for their children. Or those who believe children should learn to do chores from a young age but won’t teach them or supervise them to do it. Or believe that children should only eat homemade food but never shop for it or cook it.

For some reason there’s a lot of such men around.

I think it depends on the baby. My daughter was always fine in cafes etc from a very young age.

DD is 8 and a half months and it's worse. She's usually awake as she will eat with us but I find restaurant high chairs mostly uncomfortable for her and by the time we have ordered and our food arrived she is no longer interested in being in one, so I usually sit with her on my lap trying to entertain her. Also I have to order food she will eat too as she loves something off mummy's plate (I have eaten a lot of jacket potatoes lately or mash with no salt or cheese or butter (she is being tested for dairy Intolerances 😒). Going out to eat is no longer an enjoyable experience and I doubt it will be until she is much older and able to be entertained with colouring and other toys ....

I've not really had much problems with my children and eating out so no advice there but...
If baby is asleep in pram when you get there try the Rockit. Attaches to the pram and keeps it rocking when you stop moving which is genius!
Coupled with a bit of white noise should keep baby asleep during your meal.

I use both to keep baby asleep after a walk as he used to wake up as soon as we got home. This combination means he sleeps another hour

We basically spent quite a few years sticking to pubs and restaurants with an enclosed outside space or children's playground. DD ran around and we watched her and ate.

It did mean we had some meals out whilst wearing big coats and hats to keep warm. We also got quite a few funny looks as to why we wouldn't go inside like everyone else on a chilly day but our outside approach meant we could still have a pub meal out if we wanted.

I'm not sure when it got easier to be honest. The early years are still a bit of a blur. DD is diagnosed with ADHD now though which obviously means we've always had some additional challenges. Colouring whilst sitting at the table was never going to work for us.

My boys were very active a nosey so they were probably three if we didn't expect them to stay sitting after they'd finished eating, at five they could stay and have a chat after the meal. DS1 has always hated restaurants though and still avoids them at all costs.

DD was much happier to sit in a high chair and smile at those around her. Having three DC meant we rarely went out for Sunday lunch for fun because it was too much hard work: it's easier to cook it all from scratch at home than ensure three children behave impeccably for at least two hours in a restaurant.