Taking baby to restaurants - when does it get easier?

[atvh]

As the title says really! My four month old is a wonderful little boy, but I find it so stressful taking him out to eat. We’ve just got back from Sunday lunch at the pub. We took him out just as he was due a nap (perfect timing you’d have thought!) He fell asleep in the pram on the half-hour walk there, then almost as soon as we took our seats at the pub (which was nearly empty and not noisy at all) he woke up and was wide awake for almost all the meal.

He seems to cry a lot more when we’re out compared to when he’s at home for some reason. We take toys to distract him which works to a point, and DH sometimes puts him in the sling if he’s really crying, which does help him fall asleep but also means that DH struggles to eat (as soon as he sits down DS wakes up again!)

Is this normal for 4 months or are we just unlucky? And when does it get easier to take babies or young children out for meals? Part of me just thinks I’d rather stay home until he’s older and avoid the stress if I’m honest!

[MrsCremuel]

For us so far the newborn stage was easy - happy on the boob or asleep most of the time. There was a brief period, maybe 6-8 months where he was happy in the highchair but then he started crawling and just wanted to get down. At 15 months and walking it is now worse and he very much knows his own mind. We adopt a take it in turns to scoff food and run approach. No places where you need to wait for food.

4 sounds about right - sorry! There are some babies I see who sot happily but I suppose it depends on temperament and mobility!

[alula]

I found mine easier to take out once they started weaning and could sit in the highchair and be amused with food and toys. Saying that they can all have their moments of being unpredictable. DD is almost 2 and is pretty good with sitting in her highchair and being patient before the food comes. We had a stage with her when she was around a year or so of not understanding that the food in a restaurant doesn't come instantly. To her, being in the highchair meant food would appear ASAP like it did at home! Don't let it put you off going out though. We stick to kid-friendly places so a little bit of noise and crying isn't too frowned upon but we would obviously take her outside if she was really upset (before anyone thinks I let my kid scream while I eat my dinner!)

[Annist]

Age 4. Between walking and 3 just wasn't worth it at all. Your husband is talking bollocks. The baby isn't a puppy. You can't train him.

[Letsallscreamatthesistene]

I have a 5 month old. We've taken him out to meals a few times but tbh I just cba with the hassle. Ive found that if I sit him in a high chair when the food arrives he'll be amazed at the world around him/a toy that ive bought for long enough to let me eat my meal. Before and afterwards me or my partner will have him on us, or go outside with him.


Ive just accepted that lifes changed for a few years and dont try......

[Notsurewhatsgoingon]

I agree it's about 4 until its not ridiculous and stressful, then much older for it to be an enjoyable experience. My eldest is 7 and it still feels a bit like a chore as its not a relaxing meal and good conversation, it's trying to distract her, child focused etc.
It was OK when she was a baby as she has always been quite good but again it's not a relaxing experience and I was always conscious of other diners. Gone are the days of fine dining and adult conversation until kids are teens and can stay at home while you go out.

As for taking my 2 year old... Absolutely no way. Once they can get up and run/climb around and have an attention span of less than 30 seconds it's just not worth it. 1.5-4 is a definite no go.

[emptyplinth]

7 or 8
Years

[EssentialHummus]

It depends really. I have a food-obsessed 3 yo. From about 8 months she’d happily sit in a highchair for an hour or more as long as the food kept coming. The converse of that is that she can’t wait for food/cool food/more food. I still don’t tend to choose anything more adventurous than the Sainsbury’s cafe.

[Basilandparsleyandmint]

Just go to family friendly places if you have a little one who gets unsettled. Marston type places. Be prepared to not still nicely and sip a drink pre children though if you have a little one they is restless unless people share the entertaining baby part.
If you enjoy eating out keep at it and it might get better.
I did always take my two out and a bag of stuff to entertain them until they got used to it

[Pantheon]

He might be crying more when out as he's over stimulated? I found from 8 months when weaning was established well I could take dd out as long as I timed it for her meal. I wouldn't stay a long time though as she'd get tired. I've taken her as a young toddler too and that was fine. She's 2 and a half now and I'd take her to casual places but nowhere too posh and again not stay for hours.

[ProperVexed]

Between 8 and 12 they are quite good for pleasant chat and good behaviour
Then they turn into unpredictable surly arses as the teenage years take over. Around 18 they snap out of it and get reasonable again.

[UntamedShrew]

Usually after the second glass of wine (am only half joking).

I’d say after 8 months so they can sit in a high chair and eat with you. You’ll have to get used to a 5pm dinner is all, but it’s ok - and don’t worry about people judging you for noise or the baby making a mess. We all did it!

[Rudolphian]

When they to about 4 years old I'd say.

[Letsallscreamatthesistene]

I have a 5 month old. We've taken him out to meals a few times but tbh I just cba with the hassle. Ive found that if I sit him in a high chair when the food arrives he'll be amazed at the world around him/a toy that ive bought for long enough to let me eat my meal. Before and afterwards me or my partner will have him on us, or go outside with him.


Ive just accepted that lifes changed for a few years and meals out arent what they used to be...

[PinkSpring]

Babies are FAR easier to take places than toddlers and young children. Babies generally sleep through or are happy to just "lay/sit" there.

Toddlers do not sit still, keep wanting to move or get up, get bored easy and generally make the dining experience stressful!!

[icedbun5]

You can't just compare your child with others and think if they can do it then so can my child.

If that was the case your dh should hold the world record for the 100m by getting used to running really really fast and have won a Nobel peace prize for Physics by getting used to being clever.

[SqidgeBum]

I have always brought my girl to pubs or for lunch (pre covid). My advice would be to not avoid it, and to sort of power through it if its something you really want to do. He is only 4 months now, so will just cry, but after maybe 7 months or so he needs exposure to get used to it and learn how to behave and what to expect. I did find once she hit 6 months and was weaning and was involved in meals and was sitting in high chairs it was easier but trying to find healthy stuff for her to eat as time went on was difficult. She is now nearly 2 and she sits in the chair and colours and plays with toys and then eats her meal with no fuss. I refuse to let her get out and wander around and if she throws a fit she throws a fit and learns (we stick to family friendly places mostly). It is possible.

[weepingwillow22]

It depends a lot on the baby. I have a 9 year old with asd and it has been hard from the start and got progressively harder. My 10 month old however has been really easy to take out from 3months old.

[Pegase]

You can't train babies to get used to places before they are developmentally ready. But we have taken DD to restaurants since she was a baby and just chose places that brought food quickly - tapas sharing type meals or trendy "we bring it whenever it's ready" type places.

Personally I don't go to places with play areas etc when they are older as I do think that blurs the rules a bit about restaurant behaviour but you can't really expect a baby to do much other than be their usual self / worse as they are overstimulated.

[RowboatsinDisguise]

Our s is nearly 2. He’s fine tbh. Maybe we just have very low expectations 😂

[Sixtonskip]

My DS is 9 months and since restaurants reopened we've been out several times and I've been pleasantly surprised by how good he's been. He likes sitting in the highchair and noseying at people, plus I take toys and snacks and give him some bits of my plate. He was 4 months old when lockdown started so just getting to the age where he was interested in what was going on but because he couldn't sit in a highchair/eat he was much harder to entertain.

[Hardbackwriter]

I agree that you can't really judge from people you see out. My just turned 2 year old is, like most of them, hard work in some ways and easy in others, and it so happens that one of his easy things is he likes eating meals out - he enjoys people watching, is quite food focused and so pretty good as long as we pick somewhere the food comes quickly. So we eat out quite a lot - before lockdown we used to have brunch every Sunday after church, for instance. One of my favourite things to do with him is just to go to a café and split a tea cake and enjoy a cup of coffee (me, not him, with the coffee, obvs). Most of my friends wouldn't do that because their toddlers wouldn't sit well and quietly as DS does. But there are other things that they would behave well through and where we struggle. That brunch was after church and DS was always one of the worst behaved toddlers there! So when 'everyone else's' child seems fine it's not a random sample.

[Ihaveoflate]

I didn't even think about taking my baby to a restaurant until she was about 8 months old and the only reason we did it then is because it was my birthday and couldn't get a baby sitter.

I wouldn't enjoy the experience until I knew she could sit through a meal relatively quietly. She's only 13 months, so it'll be a long while yet!

[welshweasel]

Dead easy with a newborn. Variable from 4 months until around a year. From a year mine have had a long lunchtime nap so used to time that for when we were eating. From about 2.5 to 3.5 was hard work again. Actually enjoyable from about 4.

[ShyTown]

We have a 3YO and probably eat out 2-3 times a week at a mix of anything from local diners to high end places and aside from the very occasional hiccup when she was around 1, she behaves well and it’s not stressful. She’s been used to it since she was newborn, we always order her food we know she enjoys (a restaurant is not the time to battle over broccoli!) but mostly she’s a quiet personality that is content to sit there with a sticker book and crayons if the food takes a while.

[CatnipEverdeen]

Mine is 16 months old and we take him to restaurants quite often - I just get my phone out and put nursery rhymes on (very quietly) and it keeps him entertained. Usually that'll be whilst we wait for food, as once the food has arrived he'll be more interested in that!