Taking baby to restaurants - when does it get easier?

[atvh]

As the title says really! My four month old is a wonderful little boy, but I find it so stressful taking him out to eat. We’ve just got back from Sunday lunch at the pub. We took him out just as he was due a nap (perfect timing you’d have thought!) He fell asleep in the pram on the half-hour walk there, then almost as soon as we took our seats at the pub (which was nearly empty and not noisy at all) he woke up and was wide awake for almost all the meal.

He seems to cry a lot more when we’re out compared to when he’s at home for some reason. We take toys to distract him which works to a point, and DH sometimes puts him in the sling if he’s really crying, which does help him fall asleep but also means that DH struggles to eat (as soon as he sits down DS wakes up again!)

Is this normal for 4 months or are we just unlucky? And when does it get easier to take babies or young children out for meals? Part of me just thinks I’d rather stay home until he’s older and avoid the stress if I’m honest!

We probably ate in shifts untill DD started weaning and then she was happy enough to sit in a high chair and eat away. Been a bit hit and miss from about 1 when she was desperate to go for a crawl/wander and now 2 there is much annoyance when the food takes too long or is too hot. Once she's done there's no pleasant sitting around, you're out of there so meals with friends and family are a bit of a nightmare. I do like taking her to Costa or supermarket cafe for some cake or toast though - only takes about 15 minutes and feels civilsed!

DD has recently turned 2, and I find it so stressful! She hates sitting down for anything for more than ten mins. She is a fussy eater and isn't that into food, so doesn't really enjoy being in restaurants. She just wants to run around everywhere. She's a joy to take to places like parks, zoos, swimming pools etc, but not to restaurants! Bringing toys and colouring doesn't work, as she wants to explore the environment she's in. Eating outdoors is slightly more manageable, but I much much prefer eating out without her!

@Footlooseandfancy good point about coffees out. Hardly any waiting, and DD does enjoy a babycino, so that's definitely easier than a meal!

The baby bit is the easiest bit.

My youngest is 3 and it’s starting to get easier. We only go to casual places though and do take books and let her watch Peppa on a phone if service is slow!

@UntamedShrew Usually after the second glass of wine (am only half joking).

No actually, you've nailed it.

Mines almost 18m and she’s hit and miss. She was easy from newborn to about 7/8 months (late crawler), then tricky from 8-12 months then it was lockdown. Now, she’s ok some days, dreadful others. I have had 1.5-2 hour meals where she has sat in her highchair and eaten, looked around, maybe gone for a little walk around with me/my husband. Other times a 15 minute coffee has been rushed as she won’t sit still!!

It’s all very well saying wait til they’re 4, but unless they’re going to restaurants before 4 and learning how to behave I don’t think they’ll be great at 4. A friend of mine has always eaten out with her kids - I remember them being well behaved at about 2, 2 and a half maybe as they’d always done it. She took tablets, colouring etc but they were fine.

DS was a nightmare taking anywhere tbh, he would just scream the place down. It got easier when he was around 9 months, he could sit in a high chair and eat with us, although he wouldn't sit through a whole meal.
He's 3 now and a dream to take places.

Age 1.5 just about works. Once they can eat solids, restaurant food becomes an adventure as well. Our routine is scanning the menu the moment you get it and immediately ordering a starter or chips before the waitress leaves. Once DD gets food she's reasonably happy and behaves well in the time adults are ordering drink and waiting for their mains.

I usually order a main that she likes to eat as well so she's happy. I always bring paper plates, wet wipes and plastic baggies so I can easily clean up any mess she makes, especially since she still likes throwing food to the floor. I also have a few snacks I know she eats just in case she refuses the new food.

I'm very lenient with screen time so if she starts getting cranky we prop up a phone with her favourite Youtube videos. All this keeps her quiet and in her chair for 1-2 hours and none of us has to leave the table. I know some parents prefer to walk around with their child instead of allowing screen time but for us, eating and talking together is one of the small pleasures of a restaurant visit.

If all fails McDonalds is the best place for a toddler . Instant food, free balloons, free toys, easy clean-up.

Forgot to say, it's short lived, as soon as they start walking they become a nightmare again for a year or two.

@modgepodge

Mines almost 18m and she’s hit and miss. She was easy from newborn to about 7/8 months (late crawler), then tricky from 8-12 months then it was lockdown. Now, she’s ok some days, dreadful others. I have had 1.5-2 hour meals where she has sat in her highchair and eaten, looked around, maybe gone for a little walk around with me/my husband. Other times a 15 minute coffee has been rushed as she won’t sit still!!

It’s all very well saying wait til they’re 4, but unless they’re going to restaurants before 4 and learning how to behave I don’t think they’ll be great at 4. A friend of mine has always eaten out with her kids - I remember them being well behaved at about 2, 2 and a half maybe as they’d always done it. She took tablets, colouring etc but they were fine.

A 4 year old is totally different to a toddler - you can just tell them how you expect them to behave. It’s like taking a 4 year old to the cinema for the first time - they don’t run around screaming because they haven’t been going since 6 months You just tell them what the rules are and shush them if they start to talk.

@SparkyBlue

You get a sweet spot at about six or seven months when the high chair and food is still a novelty and they enjoy looking around them. Then it all goes to shit again I'm afraid.

Yes.

We’ve ate out 3 times a week since DD was newborn, she’s 14MO and she’s fine, we’ve only had one time when she’s cried so we got the food boxes up. She loves sitting in the high chair and people watching and if she gets whiney the iPad comes out with BabyTV on!

Yeah it's a hassle. Around 6/7 months if they aren't crawling/particulary mobile is good because they sit in the highchair and eat. Then when they are mobile it's game over because they want to move. Then you hit the screaming tantrums at 18mo and basically never want to leave the house again. Then at 3yo you can just about manage it with bribery and paying the bill as soon as you sense fussiness. At least that's my experience with my 3yo!

My first was fine going out for lunch from six months when he could sit in a highchair, eat finger foods from the tray by himself, play with stuff on the table etc. We always took his food to the restaurant with us so he didn't have to wait for his food to come, he would eat straight away then play with the crayons etc while will ate. He was four before he had the patience to order off the menu and wait for the food to come. He was three before we could go out for dinner, before that he would just howl for his bed.

I have a one year old now and we can't even do lunch with him. He hates being in a highchair and screams until we take him out then he wants to crawl all over the floor and visit other tables so we just don't eat out 😥

I think it just varies according to the temperament of the child.

I have a 4 year old and twins on the way. Personally I don't agree with kids in pubs and restaurants only if they are advertised as family friendly. I think 4 months is far too young. I'd wait until 6-9 months

After 4... surely to god
Between 6-18m they are messy, throw food around & if you've fed them before your meal, they STILL want your food. Coming from someone with a pre schooler & a baby.... today had a regrettably expensive Sunday lunch out.

We went for our first family meal when DD was 4 or 5 days old. We regularly went out with her for lunch or dinner and I don’t recall it ever being particularly difficult. She was a night owl anyway and loved attention so an evening out was her idea of fun. We didn’t have any set routine and she could pretty much sleep through anything anyway. We BLWed so she just got used to eating when and what we did.

DD was pretty easy to take to restaurants 6-12 months when she’d sit happily in a chair and munch on a pizza crust or something. Now 2.5 and is either great or a total bloody disaster, no middle ground and no way to tell which version of her we’re going to get.

DS is just 3, and he's generally fine for one course but we can't do starters unless it's very fast service. I guess he'd be up for pudding but not the waiting around for it, and tbh we don't do pudding ourselves so it's not a problem.

We can't sit and have solely adult conversation, but we split the time well and amuse him, talk to him whilst also talking to each other.

The one golden rule we have is no screens at the table, it's not healthy and not a good way to teach children to behave in a restaurant (or when eating at home for that matter). If he's tantrumming one of us takes him outside for a bit.

We've been eating out since DD (now 8) was 4 months old and I think it has really paid off as she now prefers elaborate adult meals in restaurants, as opposed to kids' pasta (we are vegan and vegetarian). She's really adventurous with food so I would definitely encourage it!

Erm, it doesn’t get easier to take babies or toddlers, I’d say about 4years old you could go to a chain restaurant or pub I wouldn’t do ‘posh’ dining. They want it quick and need to take a few bits of toys or colouring to keep them entertained.

I don't want to sound like one of those smug twats but honestly mine has always been very good in restaurants. He's 2 now and still feeling very lucky but no 2 is on their way so I know I'm about to be punished with this one!

Lots of parents take an ipad or give the tot a phone to watch while the parents enjoy their food...but for us we just adapted and went to places which are family friendly. But we go out quite rarely now, as its just not fun with kids.

We've taken dd out to pubs etc for meals since she was about 2 weeks old.

It gets easier once you can sit them in a high chair, they can have some food with you and get to interact with everyone at the table.

You do have to put efforrt in though as they get older to involve them in the conversation. My dd is 2.5 and chats away with everyone, does a bit of colouring etc.

We only ever pull technology out at the end when the adults want another drink or to chat and she has been well behaved but would naturally start to get restless.