Taking baby to restaurants - when does it get easier?

[atvh]

As the title says really! My four month old is a wonderful little boy, but I find it so stressful taking him out to eat. We’ve just got back from Sunday lunch at the pub. We took him out just as he was due a nap (perfect timing you’d have thought!) He fell asleep in the pram on the half-hour walk there, then almost as soon as we took our seats at the pub (which was nearly empty and not noisy at all) he woke up and was wide awake for almost all the meal.

He seems to cry a lot more when we’re out compared to when he’s at home for some reason. We take toys to distract him which works to a point, and DH sometimes puts him in the sling if he’s really crying, which does help him fall asleep but also means that DH struggles to eat (as soon as he sits down DS wakes up again!)

Is this normal for 4 months or are we just unlucky? And when does it get easier to take babies or young children out for meals? Part of me just thinks I’d rather stay home until he’s older and avoid the stress if I’m honest!

DS1 is four and he's always been fairly relaxed at meals, barring a brief period from ages 2-3 when we just couldn't be bothered with the stress. No one ate anything and it wasn't relaxing.

DS2 at 10 months has been a treasure so far, but mainly due to lockdown and restaurant seating being outside a lot more now. He will sit and watch buses and cyclists and dogs quite happily for hours. Indoors? Not so much.

DS was fine from birth to 6 months as long as he was held, so DH and I took turns, then from 6 months up to lockdown at 22 months he was fine. He loves food so as long as he had some he was well behaved. Since lockdown he’s turned 2 and we’ve lost the high chair and I fear that if we went out now (we haven’t yet) he’d just want to run around everywhere. Might try to reinstate the high chair for public places!

2.5 yr old here. Still terrible 😂 I think it's good when they're 4? Maybe?

Agree with those saying it will get worse before it gets better! The hardest age for restaurants IMO is between a year and 2 years. Too young to be amused by colouring etc, they just want to run around the place (mine did anyway). Yes you'll get some kids who sit nicely in the high chair but they're in the minority.

Depends on the child.

I've got three children and with my first we ate out loads, he was a very contented little thing and happy to sit in his high chair for a while wit a couple of toys or a book etc. This was the way of things until he hit 20 months and his brother came along...

DS2 was a miserable baby. 'High needs' and just not very happy in any situation. He's there now and still difficult with lots of traits of ADHD. I wouldn't take him to a restaurant if you paid me.

I now also have DD. She's another angelic one and I'd happily take her out.

So DS1 (aged 5) and DD (9 months) would both be fine, but DS2 would not. It's not really an age thing.

Why does your DH think the baby has to get used to these environments? Is she going to be a restaurant reviewer when she grows up?

There’s loads of luck involved here. I’ve had many parenting challenges but DS (now 6) has been an utter delight in restaurants since he could sit up in a high chair. He just loves food so much.

why on earth would you want to take a baby or a toddler/ young child to a restaurant/.
why put yourselves, the child, and most importantly other people who have no choice in the matter, through that.

Definitely agree with the view it will get worse before it gets better although I did find that it was pretty good between 6 months - 18 months and it was still doable with careful management until just after two. Now at 2.5 it is really just more hard work than it is worth and aside from the odd coffee and quick lunch at outdoor or child friendly places, I don’t think we will sit down somewhere for a meal. DD gets bored, impatient, not that bothered about the food and then starts to cause trouble. I can’t bear to inflict that on others so we usually make a hasty exit!

I’ve never ha an issue with DD, pre weaning I always just BF and ate one handed in restaurants. Then she’d usually nod off

Now she’s older she’s happy to eat, the only issue is the mess. I do generally prefer to eat outside where possible though so she can get down.

Yeah I agree with 3.5+. If you see others doing it effortlessly you’re either spotting them on an odd occasion where they’ve had a bit of luck, or they have an unusually placid child 😃

Unfortunately in my experience, it gets worse as they get older.

My Daughter is 3 and to be fair, was pretty good until about 1. She learnt to walk around 1 years old and then she just couldn't sit still any more. She would be unsettled the whole time we were trying to eat out and it was basically just pointless. It got even worse at 2 as she could speak and tell me she didn't want to be there. She would spend the whole time trying to run off and kick off until we left.

Now that she's 3, she's really excited to have new experiences and will actually sit there for about 20 mins!

Probably about age three. Up until then it's pretty difficult

My two have always been great in restaurants. At the baby stage they'd sleep or feed. Toddler stage they were happy in a highchair with colours or little cars.

Both good eaters so a lot what about getting the timing right. Go before they are hungry so they aren't hangry waiting for food. We have a bag of toys/colours/sticker books that only ever comes out when we are at the pub, so it's a novelty.

White noise is the answer to keep a small baby asleep when you've been walking. The quiet pub would be a lot quieter than outside.

OP I have a 3 year old and a 7 month old. 3 year old has def got better over last few months but I think 4 might be the magic number, a lot of relatives have said this is when it gets easier as well as PPs above. We haven’t been out much with 7 month old because of lockdown etc but she’s been pretty good... I expect that to change!
Honestly... it isn’t much fun eating out with little ones. I plan to keep restaurants for adults only treats. We may do occasional pizza out / go somewhere family friendly but I like to enjoy my meal and with little ones it’s not often practical

I have a 3 year old and a 5 month old and I found with the older one that one "problem" is replaced by another. Basically, eating out is very "different" once you have children. I find once they're in w high chair they do become a little bit easier to engage with for a little longer.

Really depends on the child. Some are happy sitting in a high chair with a few amusements, some just have to move! My DD has always been pretty restaurant friendly, but it does take something away from the experience for at least one adult with her (generally me). She‘ll do things like colouring/drawing for a while, but restaurants take a loooong time to bring food! So she’s fine if I read to her/interact with her, but that means I’m not interacting with other adults. So I’m not sure if it’s worth the money really!

I don’t think there’s any need to get a tiny baby “used” to eating out. Plenty of basic table manners can be learned at home before you unleash your (initially VERY) messy eater on other diners.

Mine is almost 2 and can’t say it’s an enjoyable experience. We might get a sweet 16 mins when he’ll sit nicely otherwise it’s just a tag team of running after and distracting him ... not worth it. Newborn stage was great! Then occasional periods when he would sit in high chair. I’m assuming around 4!!

I found between 6-18 months quite doable, stick them in the high chair and district them with food. After that it turned into an absolute nightmare, and still is at nearly 4.

Judge me if you will, but we have resorted to meals in a harvester with a soft play (pre covid)

I think its very variable, and you have to go with the right place for your child at whatever age they are. DS is very food motivated, and loved going to restaurants from weaning. But the food had to start arriving very quickly, so we did a lot of Yo Sushi, and places where bread sticks or bread were out straightaway. He would never do colouring and we never did devices at the table (and he's 14 now and phones are still banned for everyone), so it did all need to move on without huge gaps between courses so we might do starters so they came quickly but not puddings which stretched it out.
But as a pp said, a cafe is great for getting littlies used to going out and deciding from the menu as they get bigger, and not stressy

DS is 16 months and He is going through a phase of being happy in his high chair when out and he’s fascinated by food (he needs to be hungry though so we basically starve him before we go out and take plenty of pre meal food to keep him temporarily happy)
Prior to about 12 months we took turns to be the one that ate their meal cold and it wasn’t really enjoyable! We had good outings and bad outings. But we always laughed about it.
I think it’ll get worse for us again and then better.

6 months to whenever they start crawling is ok

Then bad again till aged about 4 (maybe age 2 if you’re willing to plug DC into a tablet with headphones to keep them quiet)

Most babies and small children do not like sitting still for longer than about 15 minutes. So not very compatible with eating out. Your DH’s idea of getting DC “used to” eating out is laughable, that’s not how babies work.

However once your DC reliably stays asleep in the evenings you can get a babysitter and go out to dinner.

I really think it depends on the perdobaloty of the kid. DS1 is nearly 3 and just isn't a sit nicely and colour in type of child. Our baby is much more relaxed than he ever was. My neice is a perfect restaurant type child. She'll just sit there quietly. I know in time DS will be able to do the same but for now hes not quiet goned those skills so we don't go.

*personality

My daughter is 4 and has probably been civilised in restaurants from about 21/2 as long as there is colouring. I’d say 4 months is tricky as they’re just starting to be more altert but can’t really join in in a high chair. I found 18m to 21/2 the worst as it’s harder to reason with them, they’re not quite as good with cutlery and have the attention span of a goldfish. At that age we generally had to go for a walk between courses and would never ever book lunch as trying to have a child be civilised when they want to be asleep is asking for trouble.