DS constant crying during the evenings - struggling to cope

[daisy86]

My DS is 12 weeks old. He’s been sleeping well at night, going into his cot at around 10.30pm and usually sleeping through until 5-6am. He also tends to have a morning nap of around 2-3 hours and is awake all afternoon.

However, during the evenings I’m really struggling. He will usually have his last feed at about 6pm but is so grumpy from then onwards. Tonight he’s been crying on and off for the last hour and won’t stop - it’s starting to really grate.

I try to put him down in his cot between 7-8pm but it just doesn’t work - he gets really fretful, cries and won’t sleep. If he does drop off he will wake 30 minutes later and won’t go back to sleep. I don’t have blackout blinds but he does sleep without them during the day, so I don’t think that’s the issue.

I know I’m lucky that he’s sleeping well at night but I have him all day and just need my evenings back. I thought it was meant to get easier at 12 weeks but if anything he’s getting harder to put down during the evenings!

I’m not willing to use a dummy and won’t be changing my mind on that. But if anyone has any other ideas I would love to hear them.

@OnlyFoolsnMothers thanks. Worrying about their sleep sure can become all-consuming if you let it!

Yep! And soon it will be their food and then their education ....exhausting !

My DS was very sleep sensitive, I had to keep a close eye on his naps and awake windows to minimise meltdowns. However I definitely ripped into getting TOO worried w out exact sleep times.

Some days babies sleep more, sometimes less. You can only do so much to help them sleep and some days they’ll get overtired and you’ll have to try and catch up the next day. There is a balance, try to not to stress about exact times too much. I found awake windows easier to follow - around that age 2/2.5 hours max between sleeps. So if one nap runs short or long, just adjust the next sleep to compensate.

Personally I’d celebrate a good overnight sleep and not worry about it! Really pleased to heard the overtired wake has eased off. Keep going, you’re doing great.

Overtired. He "should" be doing 3 naps a day at 12 weeks. I have a DD who dodged naps and at first I just assumed she was alert (as everyone kept telling me) but she was in fact overtired. She needed a lot of help to nap (and still does) but I did all I could to try and make sure she slept during the day.

Agree, sleep begets sleep. And it's not weird for him to sleep 14+ hours a day at this stage. Based on the 1.5-2 hours awake theory, it's easy for them to be up for only 8 hours or less a day. It sounds like he was over tired and you're getting on top of this. It might also be that he's moving to a routine of sleeping earlier and longer.

I just feel terrible that I've been letting him go for weeks without getting proper sleep!

So far today his sleeps have been:

8.45pm yesterday to 6am this morning
7am-11am
1pm onwards (still asleep)

It seems like he's really catching up on all that lost sleep.

Sounds like he's overstimulated. Lots of babies get like this after a long day, it's the right age for it as well. put him in a dark quiet room for a while, to calm down with you. He doesn't need to sleep but to chill out without all the stimulation going on.

Don’t feel terrible! Baby sleep is a nightmare..... and as soon as you get it sussed, they’ll shake it up again by getting a bit older and needing slightly less sleep or having a sleep regression 🤣

I repeat..... you’re doing great!