I tried to do something nice.

[Nawilotf]

So fed up. I got my kids a paddling pool from Argos for any warm days. Today's looking good. Excited 5 year old wanted it out. So I told her I would get it out straight away if she sits in the living room with her two year old brother whilst I filled it. I said they had one chance. If they followed me outside whilst I was filling it then it won't happen. She agreed..

I blew it up in the kitchen. Took it out the patio door and started filling it. They was watching me. Then 2 minutes later she opened the patio door and they both were charging towards me. So I turned the hose off. Tipped the tiny bit of water in it out and took them in. She started screaming. Having a meltdown. The toddler was also screaming.

I couldn't get her to calm down. When she did calm down abit I reminded her again. I wanted to fill it. Then put suncream on them whilst it warmed up and change my son's nappy and get them both into their costumes. So therefore now we can't do it.

She started screaming she will be good. But ive said no now. I've told her that when her dad's home we will have to do it as she has proven it's not safe for me to do it alone without another grown up to help.

So now I've got two hot miserable kids. But it's impossible to do it safely when she won't listen. Our gardens got steps and stones and I didn't want the toddler leaping in when I still need to go inside again for stuff.

Nothing is ever nice 😡

Sounds like she’s just over excited.
I know you said they had one chance, but I’d have given them one more chance to stay inside.
Now you’ve all effectively been punished.

I think you've totally overreacted. I don't understand why you can't keep them with you while you fill it? Then if you have to go back inside take them with you again.

Yeah. I'm trying to get her to listen more as she's been abit defiant lately. I have to get out the door quick before the littlest follows. It's so tricky with them being different ages. I try so hard to do nice things for them.

Kids love a paddling pool, sounds like over excitement as said above. Try again today it's going to be hot.

@Waiting2020

But I wasn't because how do I drag two soaked kids back through the house for suncream with a swollen wet nappy too. I had no towels and they were half naked. Plus the toddler will scream to hold the hose and drench everywhere. It really is a nightmare.

It's about safety too. Listening to me when it involves water. I don't think I over reacted really considering one can not be left unsupervised near water yet.

Yeah I get it, mine are 6, 5 and 1 and it can be tough. It’s like herding sheep sometimes.
Either let them potter around in the garden while you fill it or give them another chance to stay inside with something on the TV while you get it done.

Ah just bung the cream on, put everything you need in a bag, take them out and sit them in it with some toys. It’s great fun to sit in whilst it fills.

It can still be nice - your kids aren’t naughty just little and excited. Work with it not against it and life is nicer.

We just left the hose on it’s own filling up the pool! Simples. Look out of the window to see if it’s full. Your dc are young and of course they are interested in the pool and your 5 year old isn’t a baby sitter.

Alternatively you could have used it as a learning experience. How long does it take to fill the pool? Float things on it whilst it’s filling. Get measuring and pouring toys out. Get them in swimming gear whilst they enjoy it being filled around them. It seems to me you’ve spoilt what could have been a bit of fun by excluding them!

You’ll have to watch the younger one when they are using it as it’s a drowning risk if unattended. Do you have a cover for it?

Yes I'll try again. Thank you. She can be such a nightmare at the moment. Our garden really is an awkward shape and it's not the easiest to do nice things in. It's a triangle and it's up on different levels. If it was rectangle and flat it would be alot safer.

Preparation is key! Kids don’t have much concept of delayed gratification.
So change the nappy and get them ready with sun cream and costumes first. Take them outside with towels. Switch hose on and put it in the paddling pool. Supervise/distract the children while it fills (you don’t need to be holding the hose the whole time). Let them play straight away.... yes it will be cold but kids don’t tend to care.
Let them play again later when it was warmed up.

Babysitter? She's sat behind a patio door where i can see her watching Bing with her brother. Hardly asking her to parent lol.

Why not let the children help with filling it? They would love holding the hose pipe, and if they are in swimming costumes it won't matter if they accidentally splash water around. The older girl could also help by collecting everything you need before you all go outside together.

Yes I get the garden thing, ours is on a huge slope with walls dropping to the patio and steep steps. I built a fence over lockdown to keep the toddler contained!

They probably don’t care about it being left to warm up. Why not get them ready and then fill it, or leave the hose on a trickle while you get them sorted. Honestly, it sounds like you set her up to fail

I found 4/5 such a tough age, hang in there! They have all the will and ability but not very much sense yet!

That said, I think you might be asking a bit much wanting her to sit quietly inside with a 2yo (unsupervised?), especially when they're both excited having seen you start to set something up - they just won't have the ability to wait calmly until all steps are completed at that age. It can help to have realistic expectations. So if you know you'll struggle to get something set up with the kids running around, you really need to leave it until you have another adult around to supervise/corral them a bit, or set it up during the little one's nap time so you only have one to focus on.

I probably would have put sun cream on them first inside, before you even got the pool anywhere near their view line. Then they can go in it straight away, it doesn't matter if the water is cold. That way there's no waiting around for them and they don't have the chance to fall short of your expectations because they're all reasonable things if that makes sense?

My children are the same age so I understand it can be overwhelming, but I still think you are overcomplicating this. It's not worth having a miserable day over.

Unsupervised? They were behind the patio doors in the living room that lead to the garden. I hardly left them unsupervised. They were staring at me.

OK I can see they weren't unsupervised as you could see them through the glass, but still unsupervised in the sense that there wasn't an adult directly with them to keep redirecting them to the TV/preventing them from coming out until you were ready.

Yes I cross posted with you - this is a fast moving thread.

I also think you over reacted. Mine are the same age, no way would they have waited in the house.

I’d have blown up the pool, put sun team and swim things on, got everything I needed outside, then started filling it up.

And there still would still have been shouting and tantrums.

5 year old couldn't wait for exciting thing despite dire warning. No surprise there. I think you have painted yourself into a corner with a one strike and you're out policy. Why not get them ready with suncream etc and get then to fill it, it'll be part of the fun for them. But hindsight is a marvellous thing.

I said they had one chance. If they followed me outside whilst I was filling it then it won't happen

I'm a strict parent but this is draconian.

No it's not at all. I said if she sat and watched Tele whilst I got in sorted then we could do it. Hardly a strict parent. Ok thanks for all the answers anyway.

Kids should rule the parents and they shouldnt be expected to sit down for ten minutes as it's far to unreasonable.

Its a great idea for kids not to follow instructions and it be put down to the parent being over the top.

Maybe I did things in the wrong order. Doing my best being on my own all day with two young kids. Jeez.

Nothing is ever nice

Then change your behaviour and the extreme way in which you're approaching things.

I think you've made a right drama out of nothing. If you're worried about the garden, just get them ready inside first. Then all out together whilst you do the pool. They are going to mess about while you sort it. They are little kids and excited.