I tried to do something nice.

[Nawilotf]

So fed up. I got my kids a paddling pool from Argos for any warm days. Today's looking good. Excited 5 year old wanted it out. So I told her I would get it out straight away if she sits in the living room with her two year old brother whilst I filled it. I said they had one chance. If they followed me outside whilst I was filling it then it won't happen. She agreed..

I blew it up in the kitchen. Took it out the patio door and started filling it. They was watching me. Then 2 minutes later she opened the patio door and they both were charging towards me. So I turned the hose off. Tipped the tiny bit of water in it out and took them in. She started screaming. Having a meltdown. The toddler was also screaming.

I couldn't get her to calm down. When she did calm down abit I reminded her again. I wanted to fill it. Then put suncream on them whilst it warmed up and change my son's nappy and get them both into their costumes. So therefore now we can't do it.

She started screaming she will be good. But ive said no now. I've told her that when her dad's home we will have to do it as she has proven it's not safe for me to do it alone without another grown up to help.

So now I've got two hot miserable kids. But it's impossible to do it safely when she won't listen. Our gardens got steps and stones and I didn't want the toddler leaping in when I still need to go inside again for stuff.

Nothing is ever nice 😡

I'd say to them, 'maybe we made the wrong plan, and you didn't manage to make it work. I don't want you to miss out on all that fun for one mistake so let's make a new plan. Mummy only tells you what to do for good reasons so it is important to do as I ask but looking back perhaps we could have made a better plan that you would be more likely to get right. Let's fix the mistake, help me get suncream on the toddler and then we'll fill it together, then you have made amends and we can start again'

Or something like that. Then she learns that even grown ups can hold their hands up to their part in things going pear shaped, and she learns that mistakes can be mended so she needn't be full of anxiety about putting a toe wrong, and the day can get back on track.
Then you might get a few minutes to have a cuppa while they play.

Honestly, you made far too much of a meal of that. They were excited and came running out to join in the fun, only to have you tell at them and empty the paddling pool. Massive overreaction.

Get them ready first. That is what I used to do. Then they can have great fun "helping" you to fill the pool, dodging in and out of the water, running around the garden etc.

Give them a cuddle, apologise to them and start again. The day isn't a disaster or a write off. Just deep breaths and reboot.

Yell at them. Autocorrect!!

I think you've been a bit harsh. I dont know any younger child that will sit and wait patiently for something exciting, whilst looking at the exciting thing.

Get the kids ready, then take everyone/everything outside and they can play/help get the paddling pool ready. That way everyones supervised and you're free to get the paddling pool ready.

The kind of attitude you've taken in response to the feedback you've had here is why this situation arose in the first place.

Take some responsibility for your own role in what's going on instead of blaming your children.

@user1573957284738

What's extreme about keeping my toddler safe and making sure my kids are suncreamed up and the gardens ready and safe. So I can focus on watching them play so they don't drown?

Hmmm
They were watching bing in the living room. I didn't make them sit in a cage for goodness sake. In quite capable of knowing how to keep my child safe!

People have been constructive and you've thrown a strop.

wait till they're down for their afternoon naps and then fill the pool and get everything ready.

I feel for you, mine would do exactly this.

@user1573957284738

Ok and you'd be the first to slag the mum off whos child drowned when she had to pop inside for two minutes.

I think you are too relaxed about safety and letting kids rule.

wait till they're down for their afternoon naps

No 5yo needs an afternoon nap!

@frazzledasarock

Thanks. Yes I will try again later. Despite what people think they havn't seen our garden and I want to make sure I can focus fully on them being safe. I wanted to get them ready after I filled it. Clearly that's an error and they should be ready first.

Oh well I tried. I can't believe the way people change their opinions on here. It's like turn on the mum. A child shouldn't be expected to follow a simple rule for 10 minutes. But then if you wrote a post saying your child was doing as they pleased they would be the ones blaming your parenting skills.

Just write whatever they can to bully the adult. At least some have wrote reasonable replies. Others have decided asking my kids to watch bing whilst I set up a pool is child abuse.

Maybe I did things in the wrong order. Doing my best being on my own all day with two young kids. Jeez

And people are just giving you advice on how to make situations like that easier.
I’m on my own with three young children every day, while trying to work for a couple of hours when the toddler is napping too. There are ways to make your life more difficult and ways to make it easier! Everyone being upset and crying by 10am in the morning due to the one activity they’re desperate to do being banned isn’t a good start to the day, as you know. Thinking about the different ways you could have managed it is a good thing.

Are you asking for advice or just wanting comisseration? You've posted in Parenting so we've assumed the former.

It is tough to look after young children but people are giving you advice which will make it easier!

[quote Nawilotf]@user1573957284738

What's extreme about keeping my toddler safe and making sure my kids are suncreamed up and the gardens ready and safe. So I can focus on watching them play so they don't drown?

Hmmm
They were watching bing in the living room. I didn't make them sit in a cage for goodness sake. In quite capable of knowing how to keep my child safe![/quote]
You aren't too strict for having them inside watching telly, but for 1 stroke and you're out. She's 5, she's over excited. A "what did Mommy say? Back inside now whilst I get it safe". Then leave the hosepipe going whilst you follow her inside and get them ready.
It was up, 5 yo logic is it's ready

You are doing it in the wrong order - get the kids ready - put pool outside kids in pool and then fill squirting them at the same time

PS hope you are good friends with any neighbours!!!

@user1573957284738
Yes but you haven't. You have decided its my parenting skills lol. Abit extreme. Oh well we are the generation with no respect. The difference is I did as I was told. Kids now shouldn't be expected to do anything. Yes I could have let them go in it whilst I filled it. But it causes arguments. Two kids fighting over a bluddy hose.

I just wanted to get it done so they could have fun without all the messing about. But naughty me for not having more patience.

[quote Nawilotf]@user1573957284738
Yes but you haven't. You have decided its my parenting skills lol. Abit extreme. Oh well we are the generation with no respect. The difference is I did as I was told. Kids now shouldn't be expected to do anything. Yes I could have let them go in it whilst I filled it. But it causes arguments. Two kids fighting over a bluddy hose.

I just wanted to get it done so they could have fun without all the messing about. But naughty me for not having more patience.[/quote]
So you don’t want any advice then? That’s fine, as long as I know so I don’t waste any more time trying to help.

Dear lord op, why all the dramatics over filling up a paddling pool 🙄 there are multiple ways of doing this safely. No need for all the unnecessary rules taking the fun out of a simple activity

You are being a bit dramatic with your “nothing is ever nice” and then with some of your responses on here.
Try to chill, of course safety is vital I don’t think anyone would disagree with that but you do seem a bit tightly wound
Can you try again with the paddling pool later?

Your behaviour and attitude to your young children is the reason “nothing is ever nice”. Relax and stop worrying so much, it makes a world of difference. Obviously always always keep a close eye whilst they’re in water but otherwise please don’t stress so much. From one stressed mum to another

I appreciate the advice. It's more when people say it's me that's done something wrong. Really at five and a half she should be able to respect what I've said a little bit more. If I let everything go then she will just grow up ignoring everything I say. Then one day it could result in an accident when she does something because she doesn't have any respect for what I've said.

All I do is try to keep them safe. I grew up on a farm and I had to listen to my dad. There were risks. But I listened. I was 4 years old and I knew to listen. I wasn't asking the earth and i explained everything to her.

Ah well it's done now. I appreciate the advice. I will wait until her dad's home next time so it's easier. I find it so hard to entertain both with one being older than the other.

You expected a 5 year old and a 2 year old to sit quietly in the house and when they acted like excited children you managed to get them both screaming?

This is absolutely about how you handled the situation and nothing to do with your kids behaving.

What a shame.

Tbh I'm beginning to see where you're daughter gets her stroppy behaviour from

Why were you standing outside filling it? You already blew it up. All you has to do was go outside, stick the hose in it and leave it to fill. You would only have been outside for a minute, maybe 2.

You stick the hose on, go back inside, get the kids ready and then all come out and play on the grass while it finishes filling. They can jump right in, if it's too cold then can just splash it/fill up little water pistols and play around for a while.

You might be having issues with your daughter not following rules, but it sounds like you're making life difficult for yourself when you dont need to.

This didnt need to be a big issue like you made it. But you did it the way you did it and now you need to follow through.

Perhaps give her a few chores to do, so she can earn back the paddling pool?

I will wait until her dad's home next time so it's easier.

So dramatic. It's not difficult to fill a pool in the first place