No judgement please I already feel like the worse parent in the world right now

[Mumof2babies]

This morning I was due to get paid from UC partner works full time so we just get the child element for 2 children as we cant claim child tax where we live it's been rolled over onto uc I checked the bank and there was literally 62p in my account I rang the bank and they said that it had been taken for bank charges because a few things had gone unpaid last month (car tax mainly) I wasnt aware that the car tax was trying to come out a few times because we had sold the car so informed the dvla that we didnt have the car anymore so I don't know why they still tried to take payments
Partner isn't due to get paid for another week so was relying on the money from uc to get some food shopping and nappies etc for the newborn as it currently stands we have literally 2 pizzas a few fish fingers and a few tins of beans in the house nothing else I'm out of bread milk etc also running very low on nappies and baby formula I probably have enough formula for 3 bottles and about 6 nappies left! I messaged my mum this morning explained the situation and asked if she could lend us £100 until payday because she has always said if we need help then to ask but she just replied with a straight no and she hasnt said anything to me since I really dont know what to do I dont have anyone else I can ask and partners family live in Ireland so we cant ask them either I just feel like a complete failure there really isn't much point in the post I just need to vent somewhere or than to my partner because hes already worrying enough as it is

@Scrumpyjacks someone has messaged offering and I refused why would I take something from someone that doesnt know me and I dont know them ..dont assume that just because I have nothing it automatically means that I'm gonna take things from others

@Mumof2babies like pp said, there have been many a begging thread on mn and I'm afraid they say similar to yours. The op often says "I haven't accepted the money" when actually they have and have asked the sender not to disclose to save embarrassment.

There is always something that can be done.

Do you have anything you can sell on FB marketplace? Bags of baby clothes, toys, a piece of furniture you dont really want/need, etc.. wont raise 100 but maybe enough to get the essentials in for today.

As above, try a local food bank or charity.

@Scrumpyjacks ........clearly I'm not one of those people

Are you sure the car tax payment that's gone out is for the previous car not the new car?

Ask your mum for less. You said £100. Ask for just enough to get food essentials and nappies.

There will be a food bank open near you. Keep looking.

Have you checked any store loyalty cards for points to see if you could get any shopping with that?

I have been delivering food parcels this week, you don't need a referral. There is a notice on our local town hall window with a number to call.

@ButteryPuffin I asked her for the 100 because partner also needs fuel in the car for getting to work and back
Yes it was for the previous car because it was the previous cars registration number and tax for the car we have now has been paid on the 1st

If I had any money I would send it....
You can get food bank referral from hv or doc as well....

Could you get a credit card? You would only need £50 or so to buy food etc and you could pay it off next week when you get some income.

Have you tried any of the options suggested? Calling the bank back and contacting a food bank are the two best choices.

Have you actually tried any of these suggestions OP?

People who offer to send money need a good shaking

I'm trying everything I can in between trying to sort out 2 children ... figuring something out for lunch for my older child ..and sorting a feed out for the baby

I was in this situation all the time as a single mum in the 80's it was awful. I was forever ransacking the house for something to sell so we could get through the week, buying from pound shops, and food past it's sell by date. Flapjacks were a favourite because they were so cheap to make. But those were grim days.
I qualified for nothing because I worked full time and had a mortgage.
It does get better, this won't last for ever.

But the bank will refund a disputed direct debit payment immediately. Have you asked them to at least do that?

There must surely be a foodbank somewherr near by that can help you out OP. They have been working more not less over the last few months. There have also been Foodshare hubs where supermarkets donate surplus food and anyone can go along and help themselves and just donate what they can afford - their aim is to prevent food waste but also to help those on low incomes. Unless you live in a very rural area i can't imagine there's nothing nearby. (I live in a rural county and know all these services are available in the main towns).

We live in a village with only a corner shop and a pub I cant get out of the village right now to go to the local council or anything because we only have 1 car and partner has it at work

Very unusual for the food banks to be closed due to Covid19, they are busier. They operate differently eg our local one you wait in the car park and a food parcel is brought out to you. Whereabouts are you op?

Phone the council , many food banks will deliver or could dp pick a parcel up in his lunch break?

Food banks here are closed for walk ins but they are delivering food parcels, you just need to contact them. Alongside that there are various community groups delivering food parcels.

£100 is a lot to ask your mum for. Ask for £50 (£10 for fuel, £15 for a run of formula and nappies and then £26 for food). Why would she say no? Unless she doesn’t have it or she has been asked many times before...

Do what the others have said regarding the direct debit guarantee.

If you would post roughly where you are someone in here would find you a food bank.

Have you done anything that has been suggested?

Your partner took out a loan recently didnt he? I remember your other thread.

Might this be why your mum is not willing to give cash? Maybe she is not sure if she can trust your dp with the money, with what's gone on with the guarantor.

I'm sure she would support with nappies and milk directly for the children.

The loan wasnt recently it was 4 years ago so it's all paid off now

Trussel trust website has contact phone numbers for your local bank. Ring one. Speak and ask for help.

You aren't going to get help in your village. Either you partner takes u tomorrow or u catch a bus to wherever the Foodbank is.