No judgement please I already feel like the worse parent in the world right now

[Mumof2babies]

This morning I was due to get paid from UC partner works full time so we just get the child element for 2 children as we cant claim child tax where we live it's been rolled over onto uc I checked the bank and there was literally 62p in my account I rang the bank and they said that it had been taken for bank charges because a few things had gone unpaid last month (car tax mainly) I wasnt aware that the car tax was trying to come out a few times because we had sold the car so informed the dvla that we didnt have the car anymore so I don't know why they still tried to take payments
Partner isn't due to get paid for another week so was relying on the money from uc to get some food shopping and nappies etc for the newborn as it currently stands we have literally 2 pizzas a few fish fingers and a few tins of beans in the house nothing else I'm out of bread milk etc also running very low on nappies and baby formula I probably have enough formula for 3 bottles and about 6 nappies left! I messaged my mum this morning explained the situation and asked if she could lend us £100 until payday because she has always said if we need help then to ask but she just replied with a straight no and she hasnt said anything to me since I really dont know what to do I dont have anyone else I can ask and partners family live in Ireland so we cant ask them either I just feel like a complete failure there really isn't much point in the post I just need to vent somewhere or than to my partner because hes already worrying enough as it is

Not sure if it’s been mentioned but if you’ve got any Boots points or Tesco points, you could use them for shopping. Do you have any mum friends who would be able to lend you nappies/ formula? Also PayPal works internationally so your DP’s family would be able to use that to transfer you some cash. Hope you get sorted.

Trussel trust Foodbanks are definitely open!! I organise collections for them.

There will definitely be a food bank available. Even if they are currently closed for
walk in collection they’re likely to be doing deliveries or collection by appointment.

Please feel free to PM me your location and I’ll happily look into it. I know the situation will feel overwhelming. Also if you have good friends or close neighbours please ask them for help. I’d be devastated to think a friend and their family were struggling.

Lots of food banks open. Lots of faith based places helping with need in the community.

You can claim the vehicle duty back using the DD guarantee for definite. You said they were taking money out of your account - the only way that can happen is via a direct debit. I used to be a DD originator.

You've found yourself in a perfect storm of a horrible situation. Unfortunately this will make people think you are scamming for money. It happens so often on here.

However you describe a situation the thousands of people find themselves in all too often.

Good luck. There's access to food and you should be able to reclaim your money. The DD guarantee is in your favour.

Contact the bank, quote first right of appropriations regarding taking UC payment towards charges.
Also claim back your car Tax via direct debit guarantee.
If your Health Visitor isn't answering speak to the receptionist to be directed elsewhere.

Where about are you OP?

Your local church could be a good bet too.

Could you let us know where you are OP and someone might be able to find an open food bank or church etc which can help?

OP I find it highly unlikely that there are no food banks open. I donate to different types and they're swamped and new ones have opened up. If you give your general area I'm pretty sure one of us can help.

I'd def try your local FB group too op, people might only give a little bit a few little will get you through.
Where r u?

@SciFiScream yes it was taken by direct debit although I'm unsure why this has happened as the logbook was sent to the dvla the day after the car was sold
.the car was sold a month ago
I understand that people will think that but that is absolutely not the reason for the post I would never take anything from anyone that I didnt know or that didnt know me ..I just needed a little vent about the situation to make my head space clear so I could think of a few options
I've actually had a message from someone on here offering to give me money which I have refused I will sort something out

www.trusselltrust.org/get-help/find-a-foodbank/

There u go OP. Just put your postcode in

It may not be super close but if your partner has a car it shouldn't be an issue

Also I know our local Sikh temple is doing meals for those who need it. Do you have a local one?

Download the Olio APP on your phone. It's an app that allows people to giveaway or recieve unwanted food (some businesses do it too), you can then message someone if they have something you want and go and collect it. I've only recently downloaded it but added a few things to it.

More info olioex.com/

yes it was taken by direct debit although I'm unsure why this has happened as the logbook was sent to the dvla the day after the car was sold

Then phone the bank, tell them that you are disputing a direct debit payment and want it refunded under the direct debit guarantee. They do it immediately.

Call your council and see about applying for a social fund payment. I have done this once when I was in dire need and got enough to see me through.

Food bank or Facebook page of the local Covid “mutual aid” group. And for the love of god I hope no one reading is tempted to bung the OP some money.

OP if you can’t find an open food bank PM me your post code and I’ll find one.

@bethg21

ring the bank, they are not allowed to take charges from benefit payments

This is a really common misconception. By all means ring the bank and see if they will waive as a gesture of goodwill. Explain your situation and they should see that at the moment you're in vulnerable circumstances. However, for people saying banks can't use benefit money to cover charges this is incorrect.

CCCJS and court appointed charges can't be taken of benefits before they are paid into your bank but bank charges are separate to this. I'd defo see about getting the car tax refunded and if DVLA hace taken in error and can confirm this in writing/email then the bank will be more inclined to refund the charges as the payment they relate to was taken in error and through no fault of your own

Don't you need to cancel the direct debit with the dvla? Not just send the log book off and hope they cancel it for you? I can't remember as we haven't changed cars for a while now! But I think you need to go to the dvla gov website and do it through there.

There’s loads of help everywhere at the moment op. What area are you in?

Ask the bank for an encashment. If UC has been paid in and used to cover charges. The bank has to allow you to withdraw benefits.

I used to work for a bank in debt management and we often did this.

Also worth asking bank if they can refund any charges as well as a gesture of goodwill.

Definitely speak to DVLA as well, they may/ may not compensate you for charges for the direct debit going unpaid.

Oh jesus, please no one send this person money.
Uc will be able to give you an advance payment. You need to apply for one through your online account. Contact the bank and tell them they used uc money to pay bank charges which they can't do.
Go to a food bank, they also have nappies.
And keep a better tab on your funds in the future. You should know that a payment was being attempted before the uc was due to be in.

@Scrumpyjacks it's okay I have no intention of taking anything from anyone so no worries there

@Mumof2babies posters advise not sending money because it means that others will try it on.

Don't know how long you've been on Mumsnet OP but sadly it has happened. Even if 50 people send a tenner each that's a good amount of money.

It means we're more cynical and that hurts genuine cases - like yours.

Very glad you told the person no. Perhaps the person who offered you money could donate it to a food bank instead?

Do you have any boot points? Could you buy anything helpful with points from there? Tesco points? Nectar points?

Get your partner involved too he has a responsibility to support you in this.

What sort of job does he have? There are 100s of charities associated with jobs. Some of them may be able to give emergency grants. Tell me the sector and I can find out for you.

Call your local citizens advice bureau too.

@Mumof2babies doesn't mean in the moment where someone messages you offering money and you have 62p in your account you won't be tempted to take it.