No judgement please I already feel like the worse parent in the world right now

[Mumof2babies]

This morning I was due to get paid from UC partner works full time so we just get the child element for 2 children as we cant claim child tax where we live it's been rolled over onto uc I checked the bank and there was literally 62p in my account I rang the bank and they said that it had been taken for bank charges because a few things had gone unpaid last month (car tax mainly) I wasnt aware that the car tax was trying to come out a few times because we had sold the car so informed the dvla that we didnt have the car anymore so I don't know why they still tried to take payments
Partner isn't due to get paid for another week so was relying on the money from uc to get some food shopping and nappies etc for the newborn as it currently stands we have literally 2 pizzas a few fish fingers and a few tins of beans in the house nothing else I'm out of bread milk etc also running very low on nappies and baby formula I probably have enough formula for 3 bottles and about 6 nappies left! I messaged my mum this morning explained the situation and asked if she could lend us £100 until payday because she has always said if we need help then to ask but she just replied with a straight no and she hasnt said anything to me since I really dont know what to do I dont have anyone else I can ask and partners family live in Ireland so we cant ask them either I just feel like a complete failure there really isn't much point in the post I just need to vent somewhere or than to my partner because hes already worrying enough as it is

I've tried to call my health visitor no answer, the bank are unwilling to refund the charges, partner asked his mum but she doesnt have anything to lend us otherwise she said would have done also I cant have a budgeting advance because partner has earned more 3000 in the last 6 months he also cant have an advance on wages I feel awful and like I'm left with next to no options

I think if it's only for the week then a food bank would be the best option OP.

Please go to a foodbank.

Have you friends or neighbours who could lend you money for a week?

And yes to the foodbank.
Hopefully there is one in your area.

I've just looked it up but the local ones are all closed due to the current situation so even if I could get a referral it wouldnt be much use right now

ring the bank, they are not allowed to take charges from benefit payments

Hello everyone
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Go to a foodbank and donate the money back when your OH gets paid.
If the foodbank doesn't have anything try your local area page on Facebook who will direct you to community groups, or local places of worship who can help you.
Right now there is help so make use of it and then just donate the money after.

Do you have a Boots rewards cards? You could use any points on there for some nappies. Same for Tesco clubcard vouchers.

Is there anything you can sell on Ebay / Facebook marketplace? This can be a good way to get some money quickly to tide you over.

Your local Salvation Army may know who you can contact nearby for help. They also often offer food parcels etc.

Could your Mum just not want to lend money? Mine would often refuse a loan but would quite happily buy what she deemed essential for me if I was desperate. It meant eating stuff Im not too keen on etc and using the brands she used of stuff as shes very ethical and veggie.

Can you tell us roughly where you are as no food bank would close at a time like this without signposting alternatives to people in need. The ones near me and most of the rest of the country are busier than they have ever been, not closed. My local one is also delivering rather than asking people to come and collect. I'm sure we could find you somewhere.

Have you a local mutual aid group on Facebook? There are a lot of community food collections / larders around at the moment.

Have you looked at Trussel trust food banks? They don’t seem to have closed?

What did the bank say when you explained they shouldn't use benefit payments to deduct charges?
Are you sure there are NO food banks at all operating in your area? That's seems unlikely to me

What happened to the money you got from the car?

Citizens’ Advice and the local council can advise on where to access help and do referrals to food banks.

I would pop a message on your local Facebook page. There is often people posting that they have spare nappies/formula. I'm sure no one local would see a baby go without formula or nappies. Also, there are small foodbanks still operating, I've seen them posting on my local Facebook page asking for food donations. Fingers crossed you can get what you need for the week until dh gets his wages.

The car was sold last month we bought another car because without a car partner wouldnt be able to get to work

I would be very surprised if there were no food banks open with everything going on. Do you have a local Facebook group you can ask on? We have one here since the start of the pandemic. People put food parcels together and drop them to people in need.

Deffo local Facebook page. Ask for nappies formula, any tins etc people don't need or want. Can't believe there's no other help or food banks open though?

Trussell trust are definitely operating. My other half has been doing deliveries for them as a volunteer whilst he was furloughed. He’s taken masses of stuff all over the country.
They’ve then sent those deliveries out to other local food banks in churches and community centres. There will definitely be some open somewhere OP. Keep trying, I’m sorry you’re in this situation

As your baby is a newborn you must have muslins around. These can be used as nappies. They won't be waterproof, but they will at least stop the wee and poo going everywhere. If you have a fleece blanket you could cut it up and use it as a cover, that would make it somewhat waterproof. Have a look on YouTube for videos by the nappy lady.

I would call your GP because your baby needs formula a.s.a.p. They might be able to help or even give you a prescription for it, which would make it free.

Sikh temples offer free meals, it might be worth checking if there are any locally. Near us, a lot of churches that are food banks have notices up about what to do if you're in need of food.

Is your older child at nursery or school? Even if they're not attending due to COVID-19, most nurseries and schools have been helping their families in need out. They would not let your kids go hungry.

Good luck, you are not a bad parent. Everyone has been hit with unexpected bills and bank charges, it's just horrible it's come at a time where you cannot absorb it. (Forget what you may have read on here about people with X number of months pay in the bank and blabla, your situation is far from uncommon).

If you let us know roughly where you are I am sure people will be happy to provide formula and nappies at least. I would

I help run a local fb group and we donate every week to a food bank. Sometimes we collect food parcels to people genuinely in need. I would be very surprised if all your local food banks are closed. None of the ones in my area are. Where are you based?
If you contact local food banks on Facebook they will be able to advise you where you can go.

Would your mum do a shop for you of basics ?
Also banks shouldn't take benefit money for charges .