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Parenting

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Original poster

If you die who have you appointed to look after your children?

91 replies

Lsquiggles · 03/07/2020 16:16

I'm just looking to draft up a will as with a house and a child we should've by now really.

I was just wondering who you have put down in your will as a guardian for your children?

Is it pointless putting your parents as they are likely to die before you? Sorry, morbid I know! I'd like to put my sister as we're very close and she loves my dd but wanted to see what others think, is it rude to not put my parents? I may be over thinking this

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mumonthehill · 03/07/2020 16:23

My parents, then when eldest turned 18 we named him as guardian for younger ds.

Literallynoidea · 03/07/2020 16:24

My sister and her husband

Jazzled · 03/07/2020 16:26

My brother and SIL

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notheragain4 · 03/07/2020 16:28

My brother and his wife. Spoke to them about it first of course especially as they have their own children. We have excellent insurance policies so promised they'd come with lots of money! My parents are very young grandparents by mumsnet standards (becoming grandparents the same age as quite a few parents on here!), but if we were to both drop dead tomorrow I wanted them to go into a family and have a 'normal' childhood with active parents not grandparents, plus they love their cousins (and their aunt and uncle of course) they're very close to their grandparents but I just felt a young family would be better for them overall.

Thecatisboss · 03/07/2020 16:28

My twin sister as she is very close to my daughter. DH and I agreed that both sets of parents would be too old to cope with a teenager.

DCIRozHuntley · 03/07/2020 16:30

My parents, who are only in their 50s. Also, life insurance of c. £500k, to enable them to buy in whatever help and support they need, such as a nanny, cleaner or private education with good wraparound care.

LilaButterfly · 03/07/2020 16:37

My parents, mainly because we live very close and the kids would stay in the same area/school etc. Also they are already spending half their time there..
If my parents are too old by then, my sister will care for them. I think it will be easier for my parents, because they are still relatively young and fit, and my sister has 2 kids of her own. She said yes right away when we asked her, but i do think it would be quite a big change for her. They would have to move and everything, while my parents have space available.

OrlandoInTheWilderness · 03/07/2020 16:41

My parents and brother.

AIMD · 03/07/2020 16:43

I need to do this. Not sure who we’d put as guardian, probably my in-laws.

AIMD · 03/07/2020 16:43

Slightly off topic but did you download a will pack?

DelurkingAJ · 03/07/2020 16:45

My in-laws. They are a young 70 and we have serious life insurance so they could buy in help. We will probably review in a year or two but for now I would trust them. We would equally have trusted DM (similar age) but DDad was still alive and frail when we made our wills. It’s for the awful situation where you both die too young so parents are a suitable option.

DSis and I would have gone to DM’s best friend as that would have allowed us to stay at our schools etc.

Bagelsandbrie · 03/07/2020 16:45

This really worries me. My dh and I have no other family at all (dh is no contact with his) and my Mum died in 2019 and she was the only family I had. I really don’t know what would happen to dd aged 16 and ds aged 8. I am guessing worst case scenario dd would have to care for ds - she is nearly 17.

Bagelsandbrie · 03/07/2020 16:46

(Meant to add we have friends but no one close enough Id want them to have the children).

cabbageking · 03/07/2020 16:47

Is a father on the bc? They are most likely to be given the child if they apply to do so.

AIMD · 03/07/2020 16:48

@Bagelsandbrie can you do something along the lines of making your dd the guardian in that situation but asking other people to help her should that occur?

DanniArthur · 03/07/2020 16:48

My best friend and her long term partner. Both DP and I are estranged from our parents and I'm that close to my sister.

DanniArthur · 03/07/2020 16:48

*not that close

notheragain4 · 03/07/2020 16:50

@Bagelsandbrie I would make sure you've got really good life cover so if the worst happened they were well protected financially.

RhinestoneCowgirl · 03/07/2020 16:52

DH's brother and his wife. Then close family friend as second choice.

We were advised not to use our parents as they were already in their 60s when we made the will, and although our DC love their grandparents, full time parenting would be too much for them.

Rumtopf · 03/07/2020 16:58

My parents are our guardian for dd and we're guardians for my sil and bil's 4 children.

Numbersarefun · 03/07/2020 16:59

My parents. Then when the eldest turned 18 we said we could change it and she could become their guardians. The younger ones decided that that they’d still prefer Granny and Grandad! All over 18 now so it’s become irrelevant.

Bagelsandbrie · 03/07/2020 17:07

@notheragain4 unfortunately due to my own disabilities and health conditions we can’t afford life cover for me. We have life cover for dh and we own our home outright, no mortgage so that’s the best we can do. It’s a difficult situation. I guess I just wanted to share so others can see how others feel.

Bagelsandbrie · 03/07/2020 17:08

@AIMD yes that’s a good idea.

Tinamou · 03/07/2020 17:23

Good friends of ours. My parents and PILs are in their late 70s / early 80s so it would be too much for them, and DH and I are not close to our siblings.

FreedomIsNeeded · 03/07/2020 17:28

My best friend. Though the youngest is almost 18 now.

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