Baby hates the carseat - argument with mum

[Letsallscreamatthesistene]

Morning everyone

Im after some advice and perspectives as im not sure if im being all precious first born

My 3 month old hates the car seat, will scream if hes in it for more than 20mins. My mum is coming to visit me soon, and wants me to take said 3 month old to visit an elderly relative who lives 2 hours away for the day (4 hour round trip). I know the baby would cry all the way there, and all the way back. Ive said im not happy to do it, but my mum keeps saying things like 'children need to learn to travel, or you wont go anywhere', 'he'll be fine', and 'you did it as a child'.

I know the baby needs to get used to the car seat, but im not sure a 4 hour round trip and letting him cry is the way to do it. Am I being unreasonable?

[surreygirl1987]

@Redroses05 couldn't work out everything you were trying to say in your reply to me... but yes, some babies would and do cry for 4 hours at a time without falling asleep 🤷‍♀️ It's torture.

[gbee99]

I don't think you're being unreasonable. My baby has hated the car seat and cried after 10 mins of driving, and to hear her crying whilst I tried to find a place to pull over, or just get to where I was going, I found very stressful let alone distracting whilst driving. I couldn't imagine having to do a longer drive and not knowing if she'd be like that the whole way.

She is better these days though. Things I've done are: putting her in the car seat at home (for example in the kitchen whilst I'm making s cup of tea or some lunch), taking out the newborn insert as she was getting bigger, making sure the shoulder straps were at the right height (I didn't adjust for a long time, so I think she may have started to get a bit cramped!), and having the case seat in the front passenger seat both so that we could see each other.

Personally I'd either say no or if you want to go, and there's time, try a few things to see if you can work out if there's anything in particular bothering your baby.

[Isthisfinallyit]

It doesn't sound like you want to go and this would be a good moment to teach your mum that you are the parent now and what you say, goes. End of discussion. I bet she didn't listen to her mum either.

[FizzingWhizzbee123]

My DS hated the car seat when he was small. I don’t think we drove further than an hour from home in the first year of his life, and much less than that in the first 6 months. We hated hearing him scream and it seriously distracted the driver.

By 20 months, we were able to do a round trip from London to Scotland, including driving all over Scotland as part of a holiday. DS is great in the car now and naps happily in his car seat so we can find longer journeys with his naps.

Personally, if you don’t want to go, I wouldn’t go. Unnecessary stress. You could try to build up baby gradually, rather than a jump to such a long trip.

[Noti23]

Ugh save yourself the stress and wait a few months. It’s tiring enough having a 3 month old without spending 4 hours in the car with them!