Is this neglect?

[Lovepeaceandcoffee]

Hi, I left my other half at 1130am to help out my mother (I'm her carer) with full instructions on putting 19 month old to nap and what to give them for lunch etc. When I got home at 12.45 baby was sleeping. Great! However DP did not change baby's nappy. It hasn't been changed since first thing this morn. I'm really upset about it. But he doesn't get it. Would you say this is neglect?

If it’s a disposable nappy they only need changing every few hours if they’re wet.

Not as a one off no it’s not neglect.

You only left the baby 1 hr and 15 minutes?

It's not great but neglect is a pretty strong word

No not really.

If the baby was wet and dirty then it’s cruel, ad it will lead to a sore bottom.

Is it his child? I’d be hoping for a bit more parenting if so. I think that’s what you really need to establish.

No, that's not neglect why would you think it is most nappy brands boast 12 hours of dryness, even if the nappy had leaked it is something that happens to even the most attentive of parents from time to time.

You're really upset about it? You were only gone just over an hour, calm down bloody hellfire.

By the time he wakes he will be wearing it for approx 6 hours. I realise neglect is a harsh word but I don't think it's fair on the baby. DP's reasoning: baby would have gone to sleep 5-10 mins later if I'd changed his nappy. !!

There was only 1hr 15 mins between you leaving and returning.

You were ok with not changing the nappy between 'first thing' and 11.30am, I'm not sure why you would be upset at your partner. It seems a tad 7nfair.

Do you wake the baby in the night to change its nappy op?

I missed the part where you were only gone for an hour. Is it quite rare for you to leave him alone with baby?

I'd not get worked up about this.

It’s not neglect, my baby is in a nappy for 12 hours at night and has never had a rash. It would be best to change it before a nap but only a big deal if it was a dirty nappy as opposed to a wet one.

Lazy, yes. Neglect? No . If it was leaking or if soiled (not just wee) then that's different, but honestly its a bit offensive to call it neglect.

This wouldn’t even be on my radar. Fair enough if the baby had sat in his own poo for all that time but it seems to me you’re looking for an excuse not to leave the baby with him again.

Is it hell.

The nappy probably needed changing before you left for your mum’s and no it’s not neglect if it’s a one off.

No it's not neglect! Neglect is something that actually causes a child harm.

Has the nappy leaked? If not then it's fine You're being ridiculous.

Do you usually let your OH take care of the baby? Does he get to spend time with the baby regularly?

Wait so why didn’t you change the nappy in the first 5 hours the baby was warring it?
Honestly with instructions on how to put the baby to sleep I’d expect instructions on everything.

You were gone for an hour and 15 minutes and left 'full instructions' on lunch and nap time? Your partner was probably to worried about not sticking to the rules to add a nappy change in. Have you never left your baby before? It's not neglect, at worst it's a bit lazy.

It’s not great but far from neglect!
Unless the nappy was dirty?
It’s definitely better to change the baby more often but leaving him in a wet nappy for little more than an hour longer than you deem acceptable is a bit tough.
Is he neglectful in other ways? Seems a bit like you’re fishing for a reason to be annoyed with his parenting.

Looks like I'm getting worked up over this. Thanks for reassuring me all. It's just that I've looked after baby all morning, made their milk, read them a book, changed their nappy, clothed them, made them breakfast, did some colouring in, took them for a walk had a go on the swings. (I say 'them' as there are 2 of them-twins. I'm exhausted. And all he had to do was feed them and put them to sleep. I would have at least expected his nappy to be changed. No I don't wake baby up in the night to change his nappy and no the nappy wasn't dirty, just wet. And yes DP is the father.

Why have you done all that? If DP is there he can do his share. You sound a little controlling.