Is this neglect?

[Lovepeaceandcoffee]

Hi, I left my other half at 1130am to help out my mother (I'm her carer) with full instructions on putting 19 month old to nap and what to give them for lunch etc. When I got home at 12.45 baby was sleeping. Great! However DP did not change baby's nappy. It hasn't been changed since first thing this morn. I'm really upset about it. But he doesn't get it. Would you say this is neglect?

[mortforya]

Wow op, I really do feel sorry for your dh, if you have branded the word neglect around him. Fathers can be sensitive to things said as much as mothers, can you imagine if it was the other way around and your dh accused you of neglect, it's possibly the worst thing you could label a parent, neglectful. You must really live a sheltered life if you don't know the difference between an unchanged wet nappy and what a poor neglected child actually goes through😳

[Caterina99]

Absolutely not neglect.

I’d be a bit annoyed if DH did that, as I always put a fresh nappy on for nap (unless obviously I just changed it recently), but I’d just remind him that was part of the routine and move on.

[Sevo7]

Although it’s far from neglect I get it OP. My DP is the same,he’ll change a dirty nappy if I’m not there but I don’t think he’s ever thought to change a wet one unless it’s literally hanging round her knees. I also have to leave instructions if I leave him in charge of our 18 month old as despite being home every day for the last 2 months (furloughed) he seems to have absolutely no idea of our daughters routine

I came back from a rare day at the office last week to find that even though it’s was 6.30pm he still hadn’t given her tea or bathed despite that fact she’s had tea at 5pm and bath straight after for the last year! Apparently she was playing happily and didn’t seem hungry, I was fuming

[ParadiseLaundry]

'The only time I change a disposable nappy is if it's pooed in or very full and about to leak. It wouldn't occur to me to do it sooner. Disposable nappies are made pretty well to avoid babies not feeling wet imo.'

Please change them more often! That’s really uncomfortable for babies having a big bulky sodden nappy on. Would you like it?

I actually use cloth nappies during the day (which have to be changed every 2-4 hours) and disposables at night. Do you think I should wake my baby at night to change a wet nappy? If he was so uncomfortable don't you think he would wake up?

[MrsOfBebbanburg]

Does your baby wet enough during the night that it’s sodden? If so they’ll probably wake anyway. But id be surprised if it’s that full by morning.

[Letsallscreamatthesistene]

I dont change my baby's nappy at night. He wakes and tells me when he's uncomfortable. His skin is fine and intact. No nappy rash. I think if your baby is fine, carry on doing what works for you.

[FizzingWhizzbee123]

Must just be me, but it’s just common sense to me to change a child’s nappy before nap so they’re feeling comfortable and clean. I’d just do it automatically. I’m surprised, 19 months in, that your DP doesn’t know to do this if it’s part of your normal routine. I wouldn’t call it neglect, but not ideal IMO.

[Poetryinaction]

Not neglect.
To be honest one of mine was out of nappies at that age, so not having a nappy changed for a few hours doesn't seem a big deal.

[45redballoon]

Its definitely not neglect which is a serious word you shouldnt fling about.... but if your husband isnt pulling his weight helping out then I can see why you are angry. It is a bit lazy not to change a nappy in the entire time hes looking after the baby. It's not that bog of a deal on it's own but if he isnt pulling his weight I can see you might be frustrated.