8 year old keeps asking for a dog

[HyeYoon]

Hi,
My just turned 8 year old DD has been asking for a dog for years but I've always said no as they really smell and I can not stand dogs at all.
She knows this but she still asks over and over again. The past few years she used to accept it when I said no but this year she just will not take no for an answer.
Recently (the past 2 weeks or so) whenever I tell her to do something she always says "I will only do it if I can have a dog." I told her that she can have anything but an animal and for her 8th birthday I gifted her one of those robotic toy dogs but she just said she didn't want a "silly little baby toy."
It is really winding me up now as she asks multiple times everyday and whenever I say no to her she starts to have a tantrum like a toddler (laying on the floor screaming and kicking her legs). Today she kept having tantrums over and over and after I sent her to her room she still wouldn't stop😓.
I feel as if this will only get worse if I keep saying no but I really can not live with an animal in the house. My husband and my other children (18 and 2) also dislike dogs.

You can’t get a dog if you can’t stand them but when lockdown is over can you help her to have some contact with a dog? Walk a friend’s dog? Borrow my doggy or whatever?

Your 8 year old is right though, dogs are the best!

Tell her she can have one when she's 18. Sometimes just knowing she can have one one-day, even if it's not now, can make them accept it.

Don't give in to terrorism.

Dogs are a huge responsibility, you've got to really love them to make that sacrifice, even if she is saying she will care for it, i can assure you that won't happen, the only time you should get one is if everyone in the family wants one. Like pp said, maybe try borrow my dog, you might even learn to love them as much as I do.

@Bythebeach @Lubeylube She accompanies our elderly neighbour on dog walks but she keeps insisting she wants her own🙁

We got a dog after lots of nagging from DS who was 8 at the time. It’s fine because I always wanted a dog and went into it expecting to do all the work. But DS found the puppy stage really hard and now refuses to come on dog walks or come to training. He also gets upset because DDog prefers me to him (because I feed him etc). Dog is well cared for because I make sure he is, there’s no way a child should be relied on to look after a dog so you would need to be 100% onboard with getting a dog.

I mean, she literally can't have one, it really doesnt work that way, you will end up looking after it and you don't like dogs. I have 2 and sometimes they are sick or have accidents in the house, wet dog smell can be pretty of putting even when you love the bones of them. Is there a rescue centre near you, perhaps you could take her once a week to walk a dog there, that would give her another doggy experience.

Forget about 'dog' and deal with the tantrums.

Talk to her about other stuff, do other stuff.

Oh, let her have a dog!

Don’t have a dog if you don’t like them. The dog deserves better than that.

Deal with the tantrums though. That’s not right at 8.

I want a pony! Get me a pony, now!!!

If you don't get me one, I will scream and scream until I'm sick!

Why wish for a pony when you can wish for a unicorn?

My children have asked for a dog multiple time’s and they always get the same answer “you can have a dog when you have your own house to keep it in!” They aren’t happy about it but I know I would be the one to look after it and I don’t want one so that’s the end of it.

I don't like dogs and I suspect all of my kids will get one when they move out.

Would she do the hard bits of dog care like pick up pop?

I obviously meant poo

@Afishcallledbob That sounds like a good idea😁

Absolutely do not get a dog if you arent on board with looking after it, especially if the rest of your family dont like them either.

Agree with pp though, tantrums and insistant nagging need to be dealt with at 8. Tell her if she doesnt want a 'stupid little baby toy' she needs to stop acting like a baby.

Is she maybe fixating on this as a way of coping with lockdown? My DS (10) has been doing something similar - finds it hard to talk about how he's feeling but has been getting inordinately cross about things that wouldn't normally bother him, going on and on about the same things etc. With him I think it's easier to express those feelings about familiar, unimportant topics IYSWIM. Doesn't make it less annoying but it is helping me be more patient!

I've got 3 dogs , 1 a puppy. My fb dog page is full of new pup owners saying how their pups are nipping and now their children are scared of them. It seems really upsetting to them. Mine is not a biter and my children are older but she's still the reason I've been up since 4.30! Depends if you fancy that for a few months....

Take her round the park to pick up all the dog poo and see if she still wants on

A tantruming 8 yo would only further consolidate my not wanting a dog.

Get a cat instead.

I always wanted a dog as a kid and part of me now would still like one. Bit the amount of work and also time we just don't have. I wouldn't want to leave w dog in a house for more than a few hours. And once my mat leave ends the dog will suffer.

At 8 though you just don't see that. Hope you find a solution. It's hard on a child I think. Especially if feeling lonely which was the reason behind it for me.

What does she want from a dog?

Are you just saying "no" or have you had a conversation with her about why it's a no. I have an 8 year old girl and she will perfectly well understand a decision she's not really happy with if there's reason behind it. If you haven't already et having a proper sit down with her about it.

“you can have a dog when you have your own house to keep it in!”

That was my mums standard answer. It still hasn't happened.

However I think she is reacting to lockdown. Lockdown is particularly hard on children who don't have siblings close in age. And at 8 she probably doesn't have much access to her friends online either.

I'd try to get her chatting to friends online, either via WhatsApp, Zoom or console.

Pester power can grind you down but as your DD is only 8, you will be the main carer for the dog and as you don’t like dogs that’s far from ideal.

I agree with a PP, do you think she is bored during lockdown and that is the reason she wants a dog. Don’t give her any false hope, tell her the reasons why you’re not wanting a dog, how much it costs etc, pet insurance, vaccines, food, boarding costs, grooming etc. Owning a dog is a huge responsibility and not something you can do half hearted.

Ignore the get a cat suggestion, whilst cats are easier pets IMHO, if your DD wants a dog, she wants a dog, a cat won’t cut it.