8 year old keeps asking for a dog

[HyeYoon]

Hi,
My just turned 8 year old DD has been asking for a dog for years but I've always said no as they really smell and I can not stand dogs at all.
She knows this but she still asks over and over again. The past few years she used to accept it when I said no but this year she just will not take no for an answer.
Recently (the past 2 weeks or so) whenever I tell her to do something she always says "I will only do it if I can have a dog." I told her that she can have anything but an animal and for her 8th birthday I gifted her one of those robotic toy dogs but she just said she didn't want a "silly little baby toy."
It is really winding me up now as she asks multiple times everyday and whenever I say no to her she starts to have a tantrum like a toddler (laying on the floor screaming and kicking her legs). Today she kept having tantrums over and over and after I sent her to her room she still wouldn't stop😓.
I feel as if this will only get worse if I keep saying no but I really can not live with an animal in the house. My husband and my other children (18 and 2) also dislike dogs.

I have a pup and it’s been such hard work!!! They take over your life!! I’ve had to alter my work pattern to pop home yo feed and walk him. Your time isn’t your own anymore as the dog wants to be with you. It limits you going out for the day and your day is spent either walks or thinking it’s time to walk. Ds complained all the time about his biting and jumping up and pulling and although he’s loads better now he’s still saying ‘ can’t be bothered’ when I ask him please can you take him a quick walk. I love the pooch to bits but it’s such a big commitment and one that I have resented at times, but he’s getting towards 1 now and getting easier.

Do NOT get a dog if the rest of you actively dislike them, it will end up as another casualty in a rescue centre. We have just got a new puppy, we both love dogs and she is the fourth one we have had but she is quite hard work currently

Oh and I wouldn't go on about the cost of keeping a dog. Tell her no because of the time factor. It wouldn't be fair on the dog to be left at home all day when you are out at work and she's back at school.

But my big focus would be getting her chatting with friends online.

I can not stand dogs at all

My husband and my other children (18 and 2) also dislike dogs

Getting a dog would be ridiculous and incredibly cruel to the animal.

Very odd that you all except the one child dislike dogs

Clearly both you and your DH have made it so the 18 and 2 year old dislike dogs but you "failed" with the 8 year old.

I never trust people that dislike dogs. Being scared of them is one thing but actively dislike is odd. Each to their own of course. Odd.

There was a girl named Abigail
Who was taking a drive
Through the country
With her parents
When she spied a beautiful sad-eyed
Grey and white pony.
And next to it was a sign
That said,
FOR SALE—CHEAP.
“Oh,” said Abigail,
“May I have that pony?
May I please?”
And her parents said,
“No you may not.”
And Abigail said,
“But I MUST have that pony.”
And her parents said,
“Well, you can have a nice butter pecan
Ice cream cone when we get home.”
And Abigail said,
“I don’t want a butter pecan
Ice cream cone,
I WANT THAT PONY—
I MUST HAVE THAT PONY.”
And her parents said,
“Be quiet and stop nagging—
You’re not getting that pony.”
And Abigail began to cry and said,
“If I don’t get that pony I’ll die.”
And her parents said, “You won’t die.
No child ever died yet from not getting a pony.”
And Abigail felt so bad
That when she got home she went to bed,
And she couldn’t eat,
And she couldn’t sleep,
And her heart was broken,
And she DID die—
All because of a pony
That her parents wouldn’t buy.
.

I actively dislike dogs.

They stink, whether the owner notices or not. The hair. The sticking their faces in your crotch. Licking.

I dislike the sort of owner that shouts "they're only being friendly" as their untrained mutt bounds over to people even more.

I couldn't give a shiny shit if that means people think I'm odd.

@HyeYoon

Wake her up every night at 12 a.m then 3 a.m. and make her go to garden for 5 minutes. Then wake her up at 5.30/6 a.m. and have a walk for 30 minutes. During the day spill water/juice, drop eggs here and there and ask her to clean it up (on carpet too). For 15 minutes in the day make her to say commands to a toy (sit, down, etc. on the loop). Another walk midday. Ask her to play with some toys for 30 minutes (without getting up and leaving the room/spot). Another walk at 8 p.m. Occasionally ask her to go to garden and stand there for 5 minutes (random times, no matter what she is doing she has to go).

See how long she will last.

crochetandshit I’m not sure what you think you’ve added to the discussion?

A tantrumming 8 year old would be ignored here, and told not to be so ridiculous. Dogs aren’t toys to be got on a the whim of a child

@crochetandshit ok thanks

Get her up at 6am every morning for a walk, then take her out again at midday and again at 6pm. Take poo bags on said walks and get her to pick up any that you come across. Get her to pour cereal into a bowl three times a day, vacuum everything evening... you get the picture.

My DS is desperate for a dog since hearing about autism assistance dogs. There’s no doubt it would help him, but our lifestyle is not compatible with dog ownership. There’s no way I’d buy a dog and then leave it home alone for nine hours a day. I’ve told him we can discuss it again when he’s 11 (when he’d be able to do the bulk of the walking, and will possible be home alone before and after school - and therefore to be with the dog)

I grew up desperate for a dog, I absolutely adored them. My parents said no because my Dad had allergies. I accepted it. Yes I was sad but I would never have kicked off like your daughter. She sounds like a bit of a madam tbh.

Anyway now as an adult, I have four dogs and I am delighted! My parents even love them too.

All I can say is that if you really can't stand dogs then do NOT cave in. They are a huge responsibility even for someone who loves them to death. For you, it would ruin your life.

Do not get a dog. You need to be the parent and make the rules/decisions. It sounds like it’s not the best idea for your family as a while and your child needs to understand that. It will be you , by the way, that has to feed, walk, pick up it’s poo, listen to it whine all night etc most kids in my experience go off helping after the initial ‘honeymoon’ period of getting a pet.

I would ask the neighbour if DD could volunteer for a week of poo picking, not a day, but a week, when things are back to normal :) This should show her commitment levels, you never know she may be a future vet and absolutely excel around animals :)

Borrowmydoggy once things are back to normalish.

When growing up I always wanted a dog. My middle son has also wanted a dog. We have now got a dog but it is certainly not what me or ds2 expected. They are exceptionally hard work and it is now another thing I feel guilty about that I do not have the time for. It is well looked after and well loved but could certainly be better trained. Ds2 is responsible for feeding and checking the water but the dog is too strong fo him to walk.

Please do not get a dog. I think an honest conversation about the responsibility of having a dog then ignore the tantrums.

@Anotherlovelybitofsquirrel it’s pretty normal to dislike dogs. For 2 year olds it would be unusual to like them (not yet old enough for social conditioning and also small enough to find them big and scary). Likewise for adults who have their own home and have put effort into it is pretty easy to go from being ambivalent about dogs to thinking they’re dirty and unpleasant. 18 year old is the only person there that would obviously dislike dogs really. We’ve only got one person in our family that likes dogs (child that’s old enough to see other friends getting puppies and being excitedly) but even then it’s only a mild liking, happy to play with other people’s dogs but no desire to actually have one in our house for example.

My DC are 24 and 18....always wanted a dog.
I don't want a dog, therefore the answer was no. End of story.
10-15 year responsibility for the sake of a tantrum, hell no.

I think you have bigger problems if you are thinking you need to negotiate with an 8 year old....think ahead to teenage years...only if I can have a party/new phone/car!

I went on and on about a dog and one day my mum said if you keep mentioning it when I have explained why we will not have a dog right now then when I think you are old enough to take care of one with me you wont be getting one as a punishment. I never mentioned it again and we got a dog when I was 14!

Would you be open to a different kind of pet? As much as I love dogs it would be wrong for us to get one (we both work long hours) but we have plenty of cats and reptiles which are much less restrictive. As much as I agree with previous posters that you shouldn't give in to the demands for a dog (lol at the don't negotiate with terrorists 🤣) its a good way to learn responsibility.

Do you like cats? They are much less hard work than dogs. But tbh... I wouldn't give in to the demands..

This isn’t about a dog

It’s about your DD testing your boundaries with a campaign of brattishness

Hold your ground

Treat her exactly as you would a toddler, ignore as much as possible. Never engage with the ‘demands’

Quite apart from the fact that no dog should be homed in a place where it will be disliked, what, pray tell, will life be like for a dog with a child who has such appalling tantrums and is despised by most of the other people in the house. Getting a dog does not control the tantrums. It will simply teach your 8 year old (far too old to be having tantrums like this) that they can get whatever they want provided they behave badly enough.

Indeed moondust

I know it is different times and all that but if I’d have pulled that kind of tantrum at 8, I’d have had either a proper rollock or a hot hind. I wouldn’t have done it twice, let alone repeatedly.

Op I think posters are being quite unkind about your DD call her behaviour brattish, tantruming, etc. I honestly believe she is stuggling with lockdown. Missing friends and normal life. She can't have normal life and understands that, but has become fixated that a dog would be a friend.

Is she still allowed near the neighbours dog? If neighbour is ok with it, borrow the dog and take it to the park to play ball.
I loved my neighbour's dog, all the fun bits of dog ownership without the cost or responsibility, ie walking dog is the sun is great maybe not so much in winter.

To be fair, OP was the one who said she was ‘tantrumming like a toddler’ and we are only responding to that.