What happens when you can't make it to the nursery in time?

[snowybean]

Imagine life in a non-Covid time.

DH and I are considering moving to a town outside of London that doesn't have a train station. It's a bit awkward to get to, but it's beautiful and we love it there. Our commute home from work would involve a 45 minute train ride from London and then a 15/20 minute drive.

My question is what do you do if the trains go up the spout and we can't get home in time before the nursery closes? Our DD would be 9 months plus by the time this happens.

Help a mama out!

Before it's a drip feed post: there are no grandparents or friends around!

Tolerance for lateness will wane very very quickly by your nursery staff.

When DD was in nursery it was a £5 fine for every 5 mins you were late, at 20 mins they called emergency contacts and then police if they couldn't get anyone. That was all in their policy that they provided to parents.

Ultimately you need to arrange a mechanism to ensure you leave work in plenty of time with spare time built in for train issues or have people who could pick up for you in the event of issues.

The nursery we used to use charged £10 per minute over the time it was closed. In the 4 years we used them I made sure we were never late for exactly that reason so don’t know if they actually would charge as a one-off emergency but contract said they could.

You will be charged a LOT of money if you ever run late as they have to pay extra staffing costs. The dc's nursery was £1 a minute (I was never late anyway).
Somehow you need a back up plan.

Make friends very quickly! Hopefully it's a rare occurrence and you don't have to call on them too often. Between my husband and I we thankfully always made it back by closing by the skin of our teeth (no family) but we weren't reliant on trains just at the mercy of traffic and my (then) highly unpredictable workday. It got pretty stressful through and I don't miss those times. Alternatively could you look into a Nanny or Au Pair? As soon as both of mine were at Primary school this option worked for us financially.

Cab either of you check with work whether you would be able to start an hour earlier? If there's a chance for one of you to do that it would help guarantee an earlier pick up.

Alternatively, choose a nursery close to work.

In your position I would consider a nursery closer to where you work. A 45 minute journey could easily and regularly turn into a two hour journey and your stress levels will be through the roof.

Don't move - DH & I were 20mins away from nursery and that was stressful enough. No house is worth it IMHO - or have a nanny

Have you considered a childminder? We have a similar situation and use a childminder. Now, the trains being up the spout to that degree have only happened maybe twice a year but she has been completely understanding and in fact has refused extra payment, even feeding DS while waiting for us.

Her policy is that if parents take the piss or are frequently late, that’s an issue (and she will enforce late fines as per the contract), but if the line is down, the line is down and there’s nothing you can do. We asked every childminder we met prior to moving what would happen in this situation, and they all looked at us puzzled and said they would keep the kids until the parents could get there, no problem.

*The kind of situation where you allow 2.5 hours to get home, although journey time is usually 1.5 hours, and then the entire line is down and there’s nothing you can do and no workaround.

Looks like a childminder or nanny and making friends would be the best option then! We can start as early as we want, but if all trains are cancelled all afternoon and it takes hours to get home then we're screwed.

Nurseries near our work are roughly £1,000,000 a month so unfortunately that's not a viable option 😅 Plus I really don't want to squeeze into a heaving commuter train with a 9mo in tow!

Perhaps we can both work two or three days remotely each and not have to bother with late pickups at all 🤣 That's the dream, at least.

Have you ever had a childminder for a kiddo as young as 9mo/1 year?

Thank you, these replies are really useful (and eye opening!)

As others have said there was a really steep fine at our nursery, but it went directly to the staff who had to stay with child (2 for safeguarding) so on the rare occasions it happened I felt better that it was, quite rightly, going directly to them. But it was a bloody good deterrent.

How much?

I was also going to suggest a childminder. A lot of children at my sons nursery are collected by childminders

Blimey, the nursery staff were always instructed to drop any uncollected children off at the local police station in my day 😆

£1 million a month? Wow

Haha, I can imagine sheepishly walking into the police station to collect my 9mo baby girl.

"Good evening, officer. How nice to see you again!" 😅🤣

I am a nursery manager and it’s often a nightmare with late collections as staff also have their own family to be home on time for

We’ve had our utterly wonderful CM since my eldest was 10 months. We had exactly this concern and when asked she said ‘well, I’d pop him in the bath so he was ready for bed when you got here’. They adore her and DS2 has had tears because she’s his ‘others Mummy’ and he hasn’t seen her since lockdown started. She’s the very best thing.

You'll be charged through the nose. (Quite right...
They have homes to go to. And families of their own and lives to live) But, more importantly, if it's anything like regular THEY.WILL.HATE.YOU.
with a deep loathing.

And they're looking after your most precious thing every day.

And, as well as what others have said, if you're regularly v late, that's considered neglect, so expect a safeguarding complaint/referral to SS.
(VERY late and/or regular to trigger safeguarding)

You will be charged a lot.

In a genuine emergency, (a friend was late collecting once due to a car accident) someone will stay with your child. More than that, you will probably be asked to remove your child.

I was once 15 minutes late to pick up as police closed motorway due to some poor person on a bridge so absolutely nothing I could do about it.

Several other parents were also late for the same reason.

Several staff members had to stay behind to maintain their numbers. They were understandably pissed off, although several of us had called ahead to let them know.

Still got charged £5 per minute of lateness

If it's a common occurrence, they won't be happy. There may be a charge for being late.

My childminder used to charge me loads as well. 😟 They're still running a business so I wouldn't bank on it being any better. I mean, I get it and all, but a major reason why I didn't have a car was because I couldn't afford it after childcare costs ..