What happens when you can't make it to the nursery in time?

[snowybean]

Imagine life in a non-Covid time.

DH and I are considering moving to a town outside of London that doesn't have a train station. It's a bit awkward to get to, but it's beautiful and we love it there. Our commute home from work would involve a 45 minute train ride from London and then a 15/20 minute drive.

My question is what do you do if the trains go up the spout and we can't get home in time before the nursery closes? Our DD would be 9 months plus by the time this happens.

Help a mama out!

[snowybean]

I would never ever want this to be a regular occurrence and would leave more than time to get back to collect DD on time.

As there are no family or friends around I just wanted to make sure that I wasn't going to get into an awful pickle. I'll definitely look into getting a child minder before we move.

Thanks all 😁

[Cheeseycheeseycheesecheese]

I would choose a nursery close to work rather than home, that way if there's an emergency you can get there fast.

[ladykuga]

My old nursery charged £1 per minute. Once I was 70 minutes late . The moral of the story DO NOT BE LATE.

[SunbathingDragon]

There will be a high charge and then social services will be involved, before you will probably be given notice by the nursery and not permitted to return. If you get a bad reputation for lateness, nursery workers and childminders talk to each other and you might find nowhere else will take you on.

Why don’t you get a nanny?

[Embracelife]

Live in nanny.
Or make sure you each work from home enough days each that trains and travel wont be an issue. You talking 1.5 hours door to door. No good when dc is rushed to a and e for a bump to head and you both that far away.
Beautiful house in country plus dc plus two parents commuting x 5 days will be tiresome ...unless you can afford live in or out nanny and happy to pay overtime and they can do the gp hospital urgent visits....
Two parents working from home alternate days could work.

[Purplequalitystreet]

Love the way everyone assumes people can afford a nanny. My commute is 90 minutes each way. I'm at the mercy of unreliable trains. Nursery is out of the question for this reason. Thankfully we have family nearby or I have no idea how we'd manage when I go back to work. Do nurseries really refer to social services for lateness? It can't always be helped!

[Comefromaway]

Do nurseries really refer to social services for lateness? It can't always be helped!

It will be in the safeguarding policy. I used to run children’s drama classes and we had an abandoned child policy. If a child was not collected we would first attempt to contact the parent and anyone else on the contact list. If we could not get in touch with someone, or the parent was not able to get to us within a reasonable time then social services have to be contacted as the nursery staff cannot be expected to stay with the child indefinately.

Most schools/nurseries are sensible though. If it was on the news that there was an incident and all trains out of Euston were cancelled or an accident had closed the motorway or there had been a terrorist incident then they would do what they could. But even then, social services might have to be a last resort if no one could collect the child.

[DonnaDarko]

Our nursery charges £1 a minute for being late

A childminder may do similar so that's not necessarily a viable alternative.

The way DP and I have always done it, one of us always works locally. It helps that DP drives and refuses to work in London, whereas I don't drive and I've always worked in London until recently. So he would always be available to do the pick ups and drop offs.

Is there any scope for working from home on some days for either of you? That will obviously help too. My current role is 100% remote so I can now help with pickups and drop offs.

[SunbathingDragon]

Love the way everyone assumes people can afford a nanny.

A nanny will be a lot cheaper than nursery and paying excess fees if, as the OP questions the trains are cancelled all afternoon.

Do nurseries really refer to social services for lateness? It can't always be helped!

It depends on how late, whether they can get hold of the parents and how often. It will be in the terms and conditions and safeguarding policies. Sometimes it’s a sign of neglect.

[Embracelife]

No assumptions but if you going to both commute daily on train and car then you might need to factor in a nanny cost. Or calculate excess fees for being late plus bad feelings plus no one on hand if dc bumps head and goes to a and e.
So cheaper cost of lovely house in countryside has to be balanced.
But if you can work locally or from home then it might be easier. Bearing in mind the long working day with long commute. Will local nursery even cover the hours needed? Even Londoners with shorter commute many hzvd ond parent doing early start to be back in time and the other later start because nursery opens 08.00. Does the countryside have all day nursery which covers the required hours? Does local childminder cover 07.00 to 07.00?

[Embracelife]

Also awkward to get to is awkward to get to for live out nanny unless has car and depending on what s nearby may not be attractive to nanny or au pair. Research local childcare options before moving. Is it near a village with nursery and school and childminders? Also both working can be tricky meeting local parents before school age? Or does op have some connection already to the area?

[Parker231]

You will be asked to provide an emergency contact number for if they are unable to get hold of you or your DH. We don’t have family in the UK so one of our friends (who had DC’s at the same nursery) agreed to collect if we couldn’t.

[Embracelife]

Oh you said a town. After lockdown spend a week there and investgate. Talk to random parents in the park? Look at notices in cafes and community centres

[Justajot]

I know of a few people who have employed one of the nursery staff to take their child home at the end of each day - where their timings didn't fit with the nursery timings. Not all nurseries would allow this, but some do.

[snowybean]

Damn, I didn't want this to be a drip feed post but I seem to have managed it anyway 😅

We do have a connection with the area but the only people I know are basically acquaintances (and they live ~30 minutes in the car from our town). I don't know them well enough to ask if they could be an emergency contact, which is why I said I have no friends or family nearby. Of course they could change in the next year; perhaps they could be my new besties.

DH and I both work in tech and are 100% remote at the moment but I don't know if that will still be the case once things go back to normal. I'm on maternity leave until October. We could possibly do two/three days in the office a week, but it depends on our workplace's remote culture.

Local nursery hours are generally 7/7:30am to 6pm which should be fine for us. I've had a look on childcare.co.uk and there's a few childminders that will do evenings so they could pick DD up.

Thanks for your help!

Although one last question: how often does a kid bump their head badly enough that they need to go to A&E? Maybe I'm being ignorant, or maybe it's because this is my first baby.

[JewelTheft]

I've used two nurseries and they both had in terms and conditions that they would charge for late pick ups. In reality, if it was because of a problem on the trains and they had 20 parents calling to say the same thing, that were normally all on time, they were understanding and accepted that it was just one of those things that happens sometimes with public transport, and didnt charge the late fee.

[JewelTheft]

And with the bumping on head question - twice with DS by the time he was 3, never for my DD who is now 9

[TwoKidsStillStanding]

Depends on your kid! Mine is four, in childcare 2/3 days per week until he started school. Have had maybe one or two calls per year to say he’s unwell (eg he’s thrown up), no A&E visits (touch wood). We are at the lucky end of the spectrum - some of my friends seemed to get daily calls from their nurseries when they first went back from mat leave.

[DappledThings]

We pay for a contingency upfront. Our two are booked in till 5.30 but we collect them between 5 and 5.15 every day. Very occasionally I have had transport issues and been there at 5.40. Nursery have been very understanding as we have been paying for lots of time we've not used so we have a bit of a goodwill that covers the occasional lateness.

[midnightstar66]

I have 2 dc and neither ever needed collected from nursery due to accident or injury in fact I've only ever done one school collection and not even convince that was necessary and they are 7 and 10. My niece how ere seems to develop a fever at least once a week at nursery and either my DB or DSIL has to leave work to collect her so I think it's luck of the draw

[TeddyIsaHe]

Find a good nursery! I’ve been late for Dd 4 times in the 2 years she’s been at nursery. All traffic/road closure related and my nursery has never charged me, and when I call flustered and panicking just said don’t worry! She’s not going anywhere

Dd has never had to go to A&E due to anything at nursery. I’ve had to pick her up twice due to sickness.

[Solasum]

Relying on trains when trying to get back to A soon closing nursery is one of the main reasons we did not decide to move further out.

I also hadn’t anticipated DC would get upset if left to be one of the later pickups and seeing other children leave, so I adjusted hours accordingly.

Never had a call for a bumped head, but lots of DC has a sore eye/cough/etc that required a quick pickup.

[GU24Mum]

If you'll both be reliant on the same train network, you need to finish your working day at a time that you can get back with sufficient time to spare. So if nursery closes at 6, if your normal plans allow you to arrive at 5.55, you're going to be late a huge amount of time. If your plans allow you to arrive at 5.30, then you should be OK the vast majority of the time.

Another option is to see if one of the nursery staff will do a small amount of early evening childcare for you some days a week ie take you child home, and be there for an hour or so. That way, you could perhaps work a bit later those days and leave with a bigger margin of error on the other days.

[TorkTorkBam]

Your proposed set up is normal where I live in a home counties commuter village.

Childminders are usually more forgiving than nursery but you still need to not take the piss.

All of mine went to nursery or childminder starting from about 6 months old. It was brilliant.

DH and I became obsessive about tracking what's going on with the trains and local traffic. If needs be we left work an hour early just in case.

A good network of friends who can pick up for you in an emergency is essential. Be obsessive about making sure you return favours. Do not accidentally become the CF.

What you plan to do is quite normal and lovely. I am so very happy we moved out of London. I adore village life.

[Embracelife]

Friends picking up older kids is probably not an issue. Older kids play together and it s easy enough. Also car seats maybe not such an issue. But For a baby or toddler you likely need a proper contingency arrangement eg nursery worker or childminder. And think about car seats. Or as pp said if your work is flexible enough you can leave early if need to and so you have a good half hour excess built into your journey.