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Parenting

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Original poster

Sleeping out

44 replies

Burrit · 07/05/2020 05:30

Hi just a query, I have an 8 week old baby and my in laws keep asking for her to have a sleepover, I personally think she’s far too young to be sleeping out so won’t be letting her just yet but just wondering at what age did everybody let their child sleep out for the first time?

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Lou573 · 07/05/2020 05:39

2 I think. But mine were breastfed so probably a bit different. 8 weeks is absolutely tiny, I’d just say I’d let them know when I feel ready to - you’ll be grateful for it in a few years. No idea why people would want their sleep interrupted by a newborn that isn’t theirs.

Lynda07 · 07/05/2020 06:08

Eight weeks is far too young to be separated from mum/parents at night but it is nice that the grandparents want to have her overnight. As she gets older she can gradually acclimatise herself to being there for longer periods and then try sleeping over. You'll be glad of the break when the time comes but - not for a long time yet unless there is an emergency which nobody wants.

Italiandreams · 07/05/2020 06:34

I think the answer is when you and her are ready. Mine is nearly two and not Stayed away , some of my friends find it odd but he just would find it hard and it feels too stressful. I have had the odd night away when he has been at home with his dad so I’m not missing out, but much as he loves his grandparents and they looks after him in the day, it feels too much overnight. It’s personal preference and what you and your baby are comfortable with.

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aimzxd · 07/05/2020 06:40

My partner and I stayed at my parents a few times when my son was 6 weeks. My mum did the night feeds and gave us a bit of a rest (he took a bottle of EBM no problem). But we were still there in case he needed us. He was prem tho so barely lasted long on the night feeds. After lockdown we'll probably do it again to get him reaquainted with my parents and to get an extra hour or so in bed 😂😴

ScarfLadysBag · 07/05/2020 06:42

DD is 15mo and hasn't yet, but she's a good sleeper and I've never felt the need.

Rainycloudyday · 07/05/2020 06:45

My children are 3.5 and 1.5 and neither has ever spent a night away from both me and DH. We would have done if we had local family that they were used to. For us it’s more lack of opportunity. However, like hell would anyone have had my 8 week old overnight!

ScarfLadysBag · 07/05/2020 06:45

Whoops pressed enter too soon. Anyway, we are co-sleeping at the moment so it would be trickier in our case! I would no way have been ready at 8 weeks, plus I breastfed and did night feeds till she was a year, although she would have taken a bottle. But it's entirely an individual thing.

AdriannaP · 07/05/2020 06:50

No way. She is too young. Poor baby. At this age she needs her parents. Say nicely thank you and they can watch her during the say so you can rest?
My DC is 4 and never slept at GP, but they are too far away and she is not used to them so much.
Other children her age regularly sleep at GP.

Original poster

Burrit · 07/05/2020 07:10

Yes I do keep saying they can have her when she’s a bit older, it’s nice they want to be involved but i do think she is far too young yet and I definitely wouldn’t cope with having her sleep out I’d probably get less sleep than if she was at home 😂 thanks everyone I will just wait and see when I feel comfortable, I’m thinking maybe 1 or 2 years but to be honest I think I’m going to be a nightmare for being away from her

OP posts:

AdriannaP · 07/05/2020 07:13

Honestly OP (and I think I am in a minority here) I’d still hate for my daughter to sleep somewhere else. She is 4 and she doesn’t even like going to sleep with a babysitter (in her own house and her bedroom).
8 weeks? No way, I would have cried the whole night. You do what’s right for you and your family. The GP needs come second now! Would they even hear her when she wakes in the night? I know my DM couldn’t cope with a baby in the night and probably wouldn’t even wake up!!

TheRealMrsKeanuReeves · 07/05/2020 07:21

3yrs

Hohohole · 07/05/2020 07:28

Before lockdown my toddler went to his grandparents every Friday night from about 3 months. He loves his grandparents and they are very involved. It takes a village and all that.

CloudsCoveredTheSky · 07/05/2020 07:33

When you want her to.

At that age, they couldn't care less who is cuddling/feeding/changing them, so if you feel comfortable with it, it's fine. If you don't, also fine.

I'm obsessed with safe sleep and most people seem to refuse to follow basic rules in that area, so wouldn't let my child sleep anywhere without me til he's at least two when I feel the risk of anything happening is somewhat minimised.

CloudsCoveredTheSky · 07/05/2020 07:35

"At this age she needs her parents"

They need a caregiver and it really doesn't matter who that is.

Most societies do not function as ours do with so much emphasis on the nuclear family and babies are looked after by numerous friends and relatives from birth with no consequence.

20viona · 07/05/2020 07:36

Whenever you are ready. We went to Barcelona for 2 nights when my daughter was 12 weeks and we felt completely happy that she was safe with her grandparents.

Original poster

Burrit · 07/05/2020 07:41

Yes that’s another thing, they don’t have a crib or anything so no idea where they would plan on putting her! I certainly wouldnt be happy with her staying in bed with them, I’m definitely going to wait until she’s quite a bit older, just hope they don’t think I’m being funny

OP posts:

Wannabegreenfingers · 07/05/2020 07:45

When it's right for you. My eldest was 5 months and my youngest 11 months. Yes I missed them but a night away refreshes the batteries

CloudsCoveredTheSky · 07/05/2020 07:53

@Burrit It's your child and you can choose when they sleep away from you. If you say you don't want her to, that should be the end of it.

SomeoneElseEntirelyNow · 07/05/2020 08:01

I think it very much depends on the relationship you have with your parents. Mine have been having DD overnight since she was pretty small, no problem.

heartonastring · 07/05/2020 08:10

My dd was about 9months when he stayed over with my dm. My dsisters still live at home and as dd is the only grandchild, they dote on her. Every other weekend, dd stays 2nights, sometimes longer in the holidays. Shes now just turned 2 and still loves going. We are a very close family and it works well for us.

Original poster

Burrit · 07/05/2020 10:01

@SomeoneElseEntirelyNow they are my partners parents but we have a very good relationship, I trust them 100% but I just think she’s a bit young yet to be staying out, maybe it’s more for my own sake than hers 😂

OP posts:

BullshitVivienne · 07/05/2020 10:03

She shouldn't be staying out at the moment during lockdown anyway. 8 weeks is a bit young though, mostly because I'd feel guilty for anyone else having to do night feeds etc. We had a night away when my eldest was 18 months, but everyone is different and it's when you feel comfortable.

Drivingdownthe101 · 07/05/2020 10:05

I have a fantastic relationship with my parents but none of mine stayed at their houses until they were 2. Nothing to do with our relationship, I just didn’t want them to.

Louise0701 · 07/05/2020 10:05

Far too young in my opinion. I never understand this desire from grandparents to have them the minute they’re born. My eldest is 7 and stays out occasionally at my parents as she asks to whrn her cousin is. They both started staying around 5ish. My sons have never stayed anywhere overnight. They’re 2 and 8 months

Flamingolingo · 07/05/2020 10:06

It’s different for everyone. Mine are 5 and 3 and haven’t spent the night away yet. Partly because all of our families are several hours away, so not exactly easy to give it a go. Our 5yo is not the easiest to get to bed, but we’ve just found out he’s autistic so that’s probably why. The bottom line is when it’s right for you and for your child, not to appease your MIL

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