Would you let a 3 month old nap upstairs with baby monitor?

[Gettingonabitnow]

Hi

No haters thanks.

So no nursery now for my 3 year old, like most people. But DC2 will only really nap when it is reasonably quiet, and when DC1 is around screaming and just being a toddler, she really struggles to nap and gets fraught and upset.

I’m contemplating putting her upstairs when she needs a nap nap with the baby monitor on, checking her every 15 mins or so. What do you think? I want to do it for my own sanity, and also so that DC2 can get a proper nap in bless her.

Thanks x

Gosh, advice has changed since mine were tiny.

Genuine question- are parents now meant to watch babies 24/7 ?
How do you actually sleep?

Course it's fine.

I think the SIDS advice is because they copy your breathing but I’m guessing you could tell if they were breathing nicely or not by listening
You're guessing ? Guesswork: what every parent should listen to ahead of actual scientific advice.
No wonder we're fucked over the coronavirus.

3 months is peak time for SIDS isn't it?

3 months is peak time for SIDS isn't it?

Yep.

Genuine question- are parents now meant to watch babies 24/7 ?
How do you actually sleep?

You sleep in the same room as them. You don't have to be actively watching them but should be in the same room. Lots of theories as to why it's safer, the one that makes most sense to me is that you being in the room means their sleep is disturbed more, so they don't fall into as deep a sleep. Same reason breastfeeding protects against it.

My now 12 year old went into her own room at 2 months. She was too big for her Moses basket and we had literally no room in our tiny bedroom for a cot.

Yikes a lot of comments, thank you - only just had chance to come back and look! I decided against it in the end. I did leave her downstairs asleep whilst I read my toddler a bedtime story but that is 10 mins max, and my toddler really did need ten mins devoted to her bless her. The 3 month old is just going to have to toughen up and sleep through the toddlers noise!

I do this with my 4 month old dc2, she even sleeps first 3-4 h of the night with just a regular monitor (on vox mode). We ebf and use bedside crib, but it didn't cross my mind for a second that she cannot spend some time sleeping alone

On a similar vein: when I put my 3 month old to bed at, say, 8pm, should I stay in the bedroom with her? Or can I check on her regularly? We live in a one bed flat and the kitchen is attached to the bedroom (where I spend most of my time putting the washing on etc etc).

I just don't want to have to put her in the living room so we have to turn the TV off/use hushed voices etc

@snowybean your baby should sleep in the same room as you at all times day and night. There is no need to turn TV down or use hushed tones, babies sleep through noise.

Ha! No they don't all sleep through noise

We did it with our 8 week old! He now sleeps in his own room following a discussion with HV as he loved the big cot and hated the next to me so was ending up sleeping on me at night. He now sleeps in his cot for naps and overnight but I only usually put snuza breathing monitor on at night. He has normal monitor the rest of the time.... but I may change this now as hadn't thought about it.

We got a snuza on ebay and they are fantastic if you are worried. Clip on the nappy so you can pick them up and settle them.

I wouldn't, but DD choked on her sick during her sleep at that age and went blue. I dread to think what would have happened if I was checking on her every 15 minutes.

3 months is peak time for SIDS isn't it?

No, the actual peak is between 8 and 10 weeks. There is indeed the second spike in week 14 but it is not the peak.

SIDS risk goes down significantly post week 16.

Source:

bmjopen.bmj.com/content/3/5/e002299

(figure 1)

Room sharing is only a mild to moderate SIDS protective factor. Countries that do not have room sharing advice (e.g. France) have got SIDS rates that are very similar to the UK.

I would and did with both my babies. No monitor either.

Wow, that's a big change from my day. My dc are 15, 13 & 11 and this would have been pretty standard at 3 months. Otherwise when do you get the housework done?

Chugmonkey when your younger two children were small the advice was to keep them with you to sleep for first 6 months. I've a 12 year old and it certainly was then.

I did, especially with dc2 because dc1, who was only 17 months when the youngest was born, kept being really noisy during nap time and I couldn't trust him to leave the baby alone when I was cooking, cleaning or tidying up! After a few months when they both started having their naps at the same time I used to put them both into their separate rooms and then go into my own room to have a snooze myself!

I don’t get it - how do you shower or get anything at all done when you’re on your own?

@LemonSaturdays

I had a bouncer that mine sat in while I had a shower or cleaned the bathroom (no harsh chemicals or dangerous fume-releasing products, obviously). I had another in the kitchen for when I had to be in there. Playmat while I tidied the living room. Baby wearing a lot of the time. Even had a little pop up infant thing for the garden.

What age would be seen as acceptable with a baby monitor? I've done this since 4 months, all zoomed in so you can see his chest moving up and down. Only started then as he started sleeping better upstairs and doesn't really fit his moses basket.

@Megan2018 no, but that's what I assumed too! My ds becomes overtired and hysterical. He needs to be in a dark room in his bed that he knows. I either lie in the dark next to him or use a baby monitor that I watch avidly.

I don't shower until DH is there lol.

@snowybean my 4 month old goes to sleep about 8pm. He settles much better in his next to me so I sit in darkness and watch TV on my ipad.
@Megan2018 not all babies sleep through noise, come round mine and i’ll demonstrate perfectly

Everyone thinks it won’t happen to them. My next door neighbour threw herself off a motorway footbridge after her 5 month old baby died in the daytime from cot death. She had a monitor too. Baby still stopped breathing.
Mine is 6.5 months and still sleeps day and night in the same room as me. Technically I could stop that now but I am not willing yet.